that’s rough, buddy

and then the ones who spend all their time ignoring you then getting upset when you don't wanna show up to their millionth party or go do activities that don't excite you because they don't know anything about you can can't figure out things you like .... now you be come the problem.

me to my ha bestie; i'm miserable actually life is hard can we just hang and chill or whatever

her: yes i'm going out of town but when i get back

What you and everyone seems to not understand is nobody is asking for every message to come in less than 10 hours. Tho let's be serious with the amount of time people are on their phones having one message every 5+ hours is ridiculous and builds no sense of familiarity or connection.

It's day 2 of talking and we're still stuck on what hobbies we're into?

My entire point is give time to talk and then communicate when you're gonna be busy. Comeback with something meaningful to say than dropping the conversation off not end of the day check in and starting over every time with good morning and disappearing almost immediately after.

Regardless it's something I want and expect idc if there's two people on earth who grasp what I mean I'm not going to settle. Mind you people make compromises with me all the time. Agree to a routine they never deliver on and that's .... my fault? lmao

I love and miss my aunt but the way she would talk about presentability has scared me. The "potential" she saw in me must have felt like a compliment to her but by not moving towards it I always felt like I disappointed her.

Friends who clearly give more time and energy into those whose beauty awards them social capital by association.

And ofc romantic/s*xual partners chasing high femme trophy wife type material are just over saturated in the dating pool. Always has been and always will be.

Professional spaces and appearance also go hand in hand.

There's no space for me lol. I don't exactly know what to do with this information.

Using “progressive” terminology to make yourself seem like a healed, community-led individual but you got “nothing serious, but if something happens it happens” in your bio.

How are y’all pushing 40 talking about “nothing serious” and then also want children? When are you going to get serious? Age 80? It’s like ya’ll are begging to get trapped.

The illusion of commitment is about as successful of a magic trick as playing peek-a-boo with a baby and I have object permanence. HOWEVER, I also don’t understand people who think talking occasionally but want to link to f*ck regularly. Mostly because nothing about my dating profile suggests that is what I am after.

Genuinely, it’s beyond my personal issues with dating but overall this culture of dating atm is TRAGIC, even just as a viewer.

I actually get so irritated by the fact that there’s been several people who I vibe with well. But when I bring up how I hate communication is gone for hours after every text, or worse 10+ hours of no updates, I become the problem? Voicing opinions is problematic now?

So you don’t ask me out anywhere. You don’t keep up conversation. You don’t prioritize me at all and then you say this is “stale” WHO’S FAULT IS THAT? It’s been like 2 years now and that still irritates me to the depth of my soul. You offer to do something for my birthday I have to remind you. I have to deal with your shitty attitude when I wanna see you even though I didn’t do anything to you. I have to talk about my mental health or I’m hiding something? But we aren’t close enough for you to tell me you’re busy helping a friend and “that’s why you left your phone in car for hours and didn’t bother to say anything about what’s going on with you?”

making friends as an adult is MISERABLE

some combinations of being non black, homo/transphobic, capitalists, ableist, neurotypical, respectability politic ridden, and or fatphobic

Thinking about every past situation has me in a tizzy at times because I'm really just not doing nothing to anybody except enjoying their presence but they pull back and I take notice and I am wrong for that?

Even if there was a misunderstanding I am immediately met with defensiveness and anger. I wish this was limited to attempted romantic interactions but it's really all of types for me.

Being bulled as a child by day care kids. Being bullied by my own family. It's exhausting. You feel so worthless so young and you grow up and people continue to act this way.

I'm curious, what are the expectations you are asking of these people? When you say honesty, what are specific examples of people not being honest? You mention across multiple partners that this is an issue, but what are the specific requests you are making?

I don't ask these questions to belittle. I legitimately want to understand the specific issues because it's clear you're hurting.

It might help in figuring out some of the patterns, more specifically than 'I'm always the problem'.

The post about Aaron was concerning because while doing it for the plot can be a thing, it seems like this isn't the first time something has been done for the plot that later harmed you.

Again, I'm really sorry you're suffering.

Oh this is really such a sweet message. Tbh I just vent my raw super charged emotions to tumblr because quite frankly anyone who follows me has known me for awhile and I respect them and they respect me. Anyone else is just a stranger and it doesn't matter.

I'm honestly fine. As an update I dont even talk to Aaron anymore. My issue is just having expectations and not leaving or ending things when it's obvious they won't get met. I just try and work through it with people. I communicate my expectations as clear as I can. Folks hear those expectations and agree to them knowing they won't meet them. I just unfortunately like fun too and keep trying because getting to know people all over again is annoying.

But I’m determined to survive and be better for this. I have a heart that pain cannot kill and I hope the best for you and your healing as well.

Thank you❤️❤️. I am just frustrated by the growing number of people who have a false impression of me simply because they refuse to hear how their actions are affecting me.

I know other people's opinions don't change the truth but it's just really hurtful being made the bad guy because I attempted to fix something. Everyone wants honesty until it's time to be accountable for hurt feelings.