LAST PODCAST ON THE LEFT SENTENCE STARTERS PT. 14 — quotes pulled from the podcast hosted by marcus parks, ben kissel, and henry zebrowski. contains nsfw content. feel free to make alterations.
i’m always the most ignorant, because all of my knowledge is fake.
people suck in general. it’s just how it is.
yes, it’s fine if you can get blown in a theater.
i hate the beginning of “up.” i hate the way pixar manipulates my emotions.
sounds like you’re about to fall in love.
you gotta clarify if you want machetes or don’t want machetes.
anything can and will happen at any time.
i’m so much hornier than i was and i’m also more lost than ever before!
please stop telling me these things.
our brains are scarred, your brains are scarred. we’re all, you know, it is what it is.
i’ll tell you one thing: all women leave.
make yourself a ten in whatever situation you’re in.
you should never cheat at pool. you’re gonna end up getting buried in long island.
i’m sorry, i had a bunch of that trader joe’s coffee concentrate.
did anybody accuse you of being a chupacabra?
stop harassing the people on etsy.
it smells like macaroni and tit sweat.
we’re all held hostage by each other’s mental issues.
my butthole has never been the same.
i saw the eiffel tower, but you know what? who cares? it doesn’t do anything!
please don’t say, “do you wanna hear a fun story” and then have it be like, something awful.
the head-butt, not quite as fun as it sounds.
if you lower your life standards, we have it all figured out.
oh my god, it’s like hanging out with a bunch of people on mushrooms.
you should never cheat at pool. you’re gonna end up getting buried in long island.
i’m laughing to cover the fact that i shouldn’t be laughing.
my penis wasn’t listening.
now do we have any idea what the corgi is up to at this point?
i don’t know which one of us is gonna turn into a shirtless person on the side of the highway first.
wherever he is, i feel like he’s eating a deviled egg.
i love good trash people and florida is the cream of the cream.
what in the living fuck are you talking about?
“some day when i’m grown up, i’ll get even” is like the basis for my entire career.