Dímelo Todo

having a cat is great. there's a small little animal wandering around. effervescent

EATING MY CHARGER

I’m having all my wants and desires surgically removed tomorrow

DEVASTATING the lyric you've been mishearing is better than the real one

im the prettiest canary in this mine

what the fuck is that smell

Me asking an employee for help finding something in a grocery store.

im quitting tumblr

ok see u tomorrow

this post is now 10 fucking years old

and ur ass is still here

could sit in a sunny spot forever

Hey I have a surprise for you, I just need you to come within biting range :)

Every post on reddit is like “my wife left me, so i spent 100000 on a new man cave” and there’s always a storm trooper of some kind in the room. Ive seen this happen so often on reddit that now i associate storm troopers and the entire star wars universe with divorce.

may divorce be with you

how the fuck does anyone have time to do anything

I know everything im playing dumb

being the flop mutual is hard work but someone's gotta do it

hate it when I'm eating and my stomach starts growling

if you could wait a fuckin second man big changes are coming I promise