Supar Punch

My bf bribed me with McDonald's so that he can sleep in. This is the best relationship I've ever been in.

Whenever I see one of my friends got engaged I just wanna ask "why, weren't you already happy?"

When all the porn tumblrs keep following you but you're asexual so the jokes on them.

A lot of my coworkers thought it was super strange and questioned when I found someone attractive yesterday so I'll break it down: I can find people physically attractive but that in no way correlates to sex at all. Like at all. I didn't automatically think about jumping his bones. I just thought he was handsome and got flustered. You CAN think someone is attractive without automatically thinking you have to sleep with them. That is how asexuality works.

I would just like to let tumblr know that I am waiting approximately 15 minutes to go pee because A) I'm too cold to move B) an hour will have passed by since I've silenced a thread where people were saying that only two genders existed by asking a question involving robots and I wanna comment "that's right they're still god damn robots" before I reward myself with a piss.

He just called me cutie patoutine.

I want a large custom made round coffin for my funeral so that I can give all my stuff away by having the inside be a "pie graph" of items that still need a home and be put on a peg and spun around and wherever my head lands that's the item of mine they get to keep.

One of my psycho friends on fb posted a picture of herself wearing a Virgin Mary shirt. Girl you need the Virgin Mary in yo life. Not on a shirt.

When your man says he'll (skype) call you after he gets off work at 1 in the morning so you pretty much plan out your evening so that you look good in the middle of the night.