like the sun we will live to rise

The Doctor loved Rory - Rory was his family. Yet, whenever he saw his friend's face, it reminded him of the pain he had felt in Manhattan. Rory had died and returned so many times, and the Doctor had hoped beyond hope that he and Amy would also come back. However, they never did, and he regretted his actions that day deeply. He still blamed himself for their loss, to the extent that he couldn't bear to risk breaking his own rules just to see them, even though he knew he should.

But the universe had different plans; it found a way to reunite them under different circumstances. Despite the Doctor's claims to understand the rules of time and space, every year of his life was another lesson in the way existence sometimes didn't make sense.

So when Rory asked where he had been all these years, his answer was simple and oh so Doctor-y:

Rory wonders if the Doctor would have continued popping around for Christmas Dinner if they'd been able to stay in the twenty-first century. He doubts it, somehow.

He shakes his head fondly at the Doctor's answer, smile curling upwards. Somehow the words comfort him, that this grey-haired scotsman is the Doctor he knew and loved for so long, a best friend who could never be replaced.

"It's good to see you, even if you probably didn't even mean to come here aaaand it probably means we're all in mortal danger again."

As if they haven't been getting themselves into plenty of danger WITHOUT the Doctor.

“I’m Professor River Song.”

“You took your name from the Time Lord’s wife?”

“One problem with being a living legend. No one ever believes it’s really you.”

“ i’m sorry, i didn’t mean to laugh – ” it’s a sweet, melodious giggle that escapes her lips rather than a mocking sneer. chestnut eyes twinkle, jo’s heart beating loud in her chest the more anecdotes the man from the future shares during their conversation. his own adventures in the tardis are thrilling to say the least, yet it’s the domestic life with amelia that truly seems to strike a chord within her.

rory's lips twitch upwards, a little surprised and a little sheepish. mels says things like that; but usually more teasing than compliment, more matter of fact. jo seems entirely earnest. he could never be embarrassed about loving amy; it's more the COMPLIMENT that makes him flush.

it's just after two when she wakes up, cheeks wet with tear and bed sheets tangled around her legs. beside her, the bed is cold. rory's still at work, stuck working the overnight. she tosses and turns on his side of the bed for what feels like a lifetime before finally caving and sending him a text.

sms: rory 💗: i love you. sms: rory 💗: pls bring home breakfast.

and then, leaving the phone on her pillow, amy drags herself in their shower. the water is cold, and she shivers underneath it until she can breathe easier, think clearer. when she turns to water off and steps out of the shower, rory's there, just stepped into the bathroom while amy wraps a towel around herself.

“And you had a nightmare about us. What happened to us in the nightmare?“ @phoenixspirits asks into the silence.

god, it feels like she's been having nightmares every single night since they've come back home. it's easier to avoid them when they're traveling with the doctor, easier to wake up next to rory and pretend that she's fine. it's when he isn't within easy reach, within her line of sight, that amy can't breathe. the panic presses against her, and there is no place to escape.

cold showers help, but rory, having him close, eases all of it.

"nothing, shut up." she's quick to answer, but steps into his orbit anyway. his arms around her are a comfort, and she anchors herself to him. rory can't know that she's worse when he isn't here. amy will always worry that if rory finds out, he'll work less shifts and he's such a good nurse, and he's works so hard. she doesn't want him to worry about her and feel like he has to stay home with him.

"i couldn't save you," she says into his shirt, her voice a whisper. she keeps her eyes closed. if they're closed, she's not crying. "when we were on that pirate ship, and she took you. i couldn't save you." i never save you.