School Dazed

Welcome to 2017 where America will soon have an orange oompa-loompa, brainless, buffoon as Commander-in-Chief and his disgustingly corrupt appointees. Deity help us all.

 So one year the District got together with the parents and students to talk about dresscode  (Fully 4/5ths of the parents and students showed up.  Never had so many shown up to a meeting before!).  The parents and students assured those in charge that everyone was mature enough that honestly the district didn’t need one.  And like the morons they are, the district listened.  For one week.  Why just a week?  Well, here are just a few of  the things that happened at my school that one week without any rules on how to dress.

1.  One of my own students showed up in a skirt so short, it literally couldn’t get shorter without everyone know about carpets and drapes...if you get my drift.   She was wearing a “tube top” that was a piece of fabric which barely covered her areolas.  I sent her to speak with someone about how she was dressed, but as there were no rules, the best they could do was call home.  Her mom cussed out the VP (a woman) for thinking her daughter’s outfit was unacceptable.  It got worse.

When she came back I told her to take a seat.  She told me that would be impossible as she was not wearing any underwear and the seats were probably covered with germs.  IF she sat down, every bit of flesh between her legs would come into contact with the plastic of the chair.  At the time, I had 12 years of teaching experience and had never seen anything like this. I was literally speechless for a full minute.  Back she went to the VP and eventually, the VP convinced mom to bring in some underwear.  A thong.  BTW, this was my 9th grade class.

2.  Another young lady showed up in overalls. Just overalls.  I’m certain everyone assumed there was underwear involved, but they were wrong.  During lunch the young lady and another student got into a fight.  The overalls fell down.  She was wearing nothing underneath.  Dozens of people took out their phones and well you can guess the rest.  In the end, there was nothing we could do. Some kids got away with their phones or sent the pictures before we could catch them.   She moved to live with a relative out of state due to harassment which resulted.

3.  While none of the male students seemed interested in anything like above, more than a few did show up in shirts with naked women on them, or cuss words, or racist slogans, etc.  

Student: What happened?

Me:  My leg died.

So, we try to bring other subjects into our lessons to show students how subjects connect and education is not isolated subjects.

Me:  This story is about something famous that happened in 1492.  Can anyone remember what?

Student shouts out: OH!  That’s the room in that movie where the guy gets trapped.

Student #2: Yeah, and he can’t get out.  

Student #3 :  Does this mean we’re watching that movie!

Another time, we were talking about what movies scare us for Halloween.

Student:  It’s that movie about the giant snake that eats people. 

So, after all that seriousness....perhaps the oddest moment in my class.

Two 9th graders were talking in my class as I passed out papers:

Student #1 was pulling his hair:  I bet if I was man enough, I could go Super Saiyan!

ME:  You both realized it’s just a tv show right?  No one can go Super Saiyan.

Student #2 Shows what you know.

#1 She’s girl.  They don’t anything about being a man.  (He then proceeds to concentrate and look constipated like thry do on the show before going Super Saiyan.)

#2 (looking at me sadly) Sorry.  I forgot you’re a girl.  

So....I received a phone call the next week from her father.  How dare I refuse her essay?!?!?!?!

Is it ready?

No, she just started.  That’s not the point.

She had FOUR months just like everyone else.  Not to mention she said she simply did not do it.  

That’s not the point!

I’m sorry.  I don’t understand the problem.  She has a make-up essay and will be able to get some of the missing points back.  She is being treated no different that any other student.

That’s not the POINT!

(At which point, I am confused.  WHAT is the point?)

Turns out the point was I was trying to hold his child responsible for her own actions.  I WAS A MONSTER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  And he hung up on me.

The next day, an Admin said he had scheduled a meeting with the father who was....get this....threatening to sue.   TO SUE.

I spoke with the Admin, gave him all the paperwork I give the students and waited for the meeting.

OMGWTFBBQ.

At the meeting I explained everything we did, all the rules, showed him the paperwork (which he did not look at and literally threw it on the Admin’s desk), and about the FOUR MONTHS OF TIME for what is basically a 1.5 page paper.  I even explained her attitude demanding more time and that she simply did not do the essay because she didn’t want to.

The Admin asked the student if this was all true.

Yes, but it’s not fair!  She won’t let me turn in the paper late.

Admin:  Have you let students turn in the paper late?

None.

The father jumped in at this point and started telling the Admin his child was just that a child.  (She was less than 2 months from her 18th birthday.) And holding a child to such a rigid standard was unacceptable.  

The Admin asked if I could see his point.

I pointed out she’s a senior.  One who has talked endlessly about going to college.  IF she doesn’t learn how to do big projects, manage her time, and meet deadlines now, when is she going to learn it?

Father:  In college.

(WTF....since when does college teach how to meet deadlines and act like an adult?  If you can’t arrive grown up, you are usually in a LOT of trouble.)

So, the Admin looks at me and asks if I can see his point.

(Well, yes I can see his point....it’s a stupid point, but I can see it...but I am soooooo not agreeing with it.)  I end up repeating she had PLENTY of time but CHOSE to not do the assignment.  CHOSE.  

The father gets really pissed.  What a mean person I am, how I must hate my students, how I must pray every night for them to fail, and I drink their tears too!

I refuse to back down.  She had FOUR MONTHS and CHOSE to do NOTHING. How am I supposed to reward her for that?  

In the end, the father threatens to sue us.  I’m not afraid; he has NOTHING...kind of like what his kid did.  But the Admin.

He changes the grade, forbids me from changing it back, and removes her from my class.  

But here is the real kicker.  She goes around telling everyone she can that her father forced me to give her an  A.  That I’m not allowed to fail anyone.  Just have your parents come in and complain.  You do NOT want to know what that last semester was like or how many of my Seniors refused to do the last project (the fun one) and ended up losing their admittance due to getting a D in my class (BIG GPA drop!) or losing scholarships.  Because, it turns out, the OTHER Admin. back me up.  They want students leaving our school with the skills to excel in college.  

Because we are determined to make sure our Seniors are ready for college (or a school to train them for a career), we make them write a paper their Senior year.  The paper let’s us know where their skills are and helps us teach them anything they are missing and might need.  

It’s a pretty simple paper.  Pick a topic, research it, site evidence, and make sure it is 3-5 pages, double-spaced, and typed.  Basically, it’s a paper and half single spaced...written in FOUR MONTHS.  (Note the time because this is gonna be a major point of mine later.)

They are walked through every part of the essay.  In my class, we build an example paper together, the due date is in BIG RED LETTERS on the board, they get multiple papers outlining every rule, and a ton of resources.  I expect the best paper they ever written in return.  They have FOUR MONTHS.  (Trust me, this number is important.)

However, their best efforts aren’t always what I get.  Some apparently only have time to do....nothing.  Therefore, I make the essay worth 25% for their final grade to give them a feel for how it will be in higher, educational classes and to inspire them to make some kind of effort.  One student simply did not do it.  

When I called her name for a paper, she said “Didn’t do it.”  I asked why.  There might have been a problem.  (One student’s house literally burned down the night before the paper was due!) Nope....she just didn’t feel like doing it.  I asked her if she understood what this was going to do to her grade.  She shrugged.  “I have an A.  It’s not like this is going to affect anything.”

OMG.  Whatever.  She make her choice.  So, the paper grade was 0.  The following Monday, the student showed up in my class.  “You are giving me more time.”

Nice way to ask.  “There is a make up essay you can do.  But it is not worth the same amount of points.”   (I always have a backup essay ready.)

“No.  You will accept the essay from me in three weeks.  And you will give me full points.”

Where did this kid learn manners?!  “No.  I will not.  You chose not to do the essay.  Now, you have an opportunity to earn some of those points back.  This is the only chance you will be given.”