"FrEaKs, gEEks, CReePS, & wEiRdOs"

Leonid Afremov - “The Hug of Lust”

Deep, & visceral passion.

I’ve spent years reflecting, this painting makes me want to share the apology you never heard.

When you were there for me through one of the hardest periods of my life, especially while I was grieving, you gave me patience, love, support, and understanding that I didn’t always know how to receive or return. Instead of being emotionally available and fully present with you, I often withdrew into my own pain. I know that likely left you feeling alone, unappreciated, and shut out. I am deeply sorry for that.

The truth is that I was struggling, but that’s an explanation, not an excuse. You deserved a partner who could be open with you, communicate honestly, and meet you emotionally, and I wasn’t able to do that at the time. I’m glad you found him.

I want you to know that I have never forgotten everything you did for me. You stood by me when I was hurting, and I will always be grateful for that. Looking back, I wish I had done a better job of communicating and showing you how much you meant to me and how much I valued the life we were building together.

I don’t expect forgiveness, and I’m not asking you to erase any hurt I caused. I simply wanted to take responsibility and tell you that I’m sorry. You deserved better from me, and I regret not being the partner you needed when you were giving me so much of yourself.

I root for you daily, and am happy for you and where you are in life. Thank you for the love, support, and kindness you showed me during a time when I needed it most.