PHATHOM

Breaking News! Eggs have GREAT Gas Mileage. I know, you're confused.

RIP Ralph McQuarrie

The Man Who Envisioned Star Wars

Steampunk Haunted House

Prosthetics PT. 1

I reach out for her…but I see no hands…no arms. Again I stretch my hands towards her, I can feel them but… Her heart breaks and drips from her eyes at the realization that I don’t know. I don’t know that I lost both arms only hours ago. I don’t know that I have been changed. Forever.

(Actual phone conversation with the Social Security Administration in Washington, D.C.)

Me: “Hello. I recently became a zombie, and was curious how that may affect my social security status and possible benefits.”

SSA: “Name?” (I told her) “Address?”  (I told her I found myself in some cemetery in south side of Chicago) ’Social security number?” (I told her)  “One moment please."

A Baby For Milly

Milly blamed me. Always and for everything and so when we began to doubt our ability to conceive a child…she blamed me.  She said that my sperm count was low and that it always had been.  News to me.  She said that I was probably shooting blanks, like when a referee starts a race.  And for a minute I believed her.  Hell, I’d done my share of drugs in college and quiet as it’s kept, the I.T. loser who guys liked to tease actually caught an STD…from a woman I met while studying in Prague …and I’m proud of it.  Some guys go their whole lives without sleeping with a loose woman, and some guys, like me, take it when they can get it. And it got me. I’m trying to lighten up the truth. You see, Milly blames me for us not being able to have a baby.  And a baby is all Milly ever really wanted.

Legend of Zelda: Skyward Sword Review

SPOILER WARNING: This review contains minor gameplay spoilers related to items and dungeons.

Mass Effect 3 Collector’s Edition Revealed

BioWare has revealed the official Mass Effect 3 N7 Collector’s Edition. This exclusive and limited package includes:

Who hungers?

We’ve already speculated if the Suzanne Collins young adult trilogy “The Hunger Games Movie” will be the next big thing to come out of Hollywood. And from the look at the fan reaction to the world premiere of the first full-length trailer on “Good Morning America,” it seems as if it’s brewing up just the right amount of excitement about seeing these characters come to life.

The Last Sperm Donor

When I found out that I was the last fertile man on earth it was a huge ego boost.  Really, I was the guy that got voted ‘most likely to marry his right hand’ back in high school.  And then, after college, I met this lady, Gwen…and Gwen didn’t care that I was short, Gwen didn’t care that I was losing my hair, all Gwen cared about was me. 

The Uncanny Valley: Part 1

It’s a good thing that humans aren’t logical because if they were, they would not even attempt half the shit they do.  Emotion is the culprit—it’s the magnet that pulls them past fear and into the heroic, the passionate, the sublime.   They don’t know if a foolish act will result in a great adventure they can savor and share with friends or a disaster that will snuff them out on the spot.  I envy them.  They don’t know and they don’t seem to care.

Let’s go back to the beginning… the morning after my upgrade.  At 6:00 am I brought Baby Wendy to the kitchen for her morning nourishment. She cooed and gurgled as I prepared her meal but when I sat down to spoon in her favorite cereal and strained peaches, she looked at me and began to cry.  I tried to comfort her but when I tried to pick her up she started howling.   Mother Joanna came to see what was wrong.  She stared at me for a long time and asked if I was feeling OK.

Who wants to Teleport? 

Um. Everyone. Right?

Help Wanted: Experienced Time Travelers

Established Time Travel Agency is expanding!  We need Junior travel executives for our growing tourist trade and Senior executives for our new Business Class Division. Must be friendly, physically fit, customer-focused, and have a proven track record. –Successful excursions to both past and future preferred but we will train enthusiastic beginners.