snowcone

circa early 2020 with @pgjisung

they’ve been impossibly busy. but that’s what happens when you’re high in demand, when the public is buzzing about cross_over and redux insists on striking while the iron’s hot. which means what, exactly? simple. it means schedule after schedule. it means smiles stretched thin, tightness in the face, back of her eyes burning from fatigue. it means feeling less human as days go by with priorities placed on the image she sells as over’s leader. it means all of that and sparse moments otherwise to breathe. all of that and little time to herself for the things she loves.

things she loves?

well—maybe love is too loaded of a word for it.

things she indulges in is more suited. gratification, at the end of the day, was the goal here. be it a long jog around the neighborhood or otherwise. though, to speak of otherwise we first have to set the scene. to draw notice to today’s main characters: one ko suran and one ban jisung—and between them? a flurry of faces and names suran can’t properly place, but greeted all the same upon stepping foot into the elevator. which, much to her dismay, gradually filled up with every passing floor on the way down.

she resists the urge to sigh, gaze fixated on the screen enclasped in manicured hands. with every additional body, she takes a step to the right, trying her best to avoid bumping into anyone. on/off on/off on/off till she’s stepping on the shoe of another’s, eyes lifting to meet their gaze, apology at the ready. oh? “sorry.” suran mutters, head bowing whilst she takes a step back. 

there’s nothing to explain further, nothing to even say further. after all, there’s nothing else between her and ban jisung that warrants it.

 @pgsuran​

while the girls had been on a strict diet since debut (and even before that), minah was no stranger to the occasional cheat meal. or cheat day. she had never grown out of her sweet tooth and the push to ignore the craving for sugar-loaded desserts and fried snacks was on her list of hardest things about being an idol. especially as summer began to come to a close, the heat settling around them in a thick layer until fall came in to cool everything down, minah really wanted to eat something cold and sweet. 

like ice cream.

although suran was their responsible leader, minah had gotten very good at convincing the older woman to join her on her cheat day expeditions. the two of them walked from their dorm to a nearby convenience store, minah humming happily as she thought of chocolate dipped ice cream bars and bubbly cans of fruit-flavored soda. “it’s so hot, it’d be a crime not to have ice cream. maybe we can buy some to keep in the freezer!”

it’s not like her to cheat her diets. okay, it is. but to suran’s credit, it seldom happens so frequently. at the very least, she usually took care to allot specific cheat days (twice or thrice a month, thank you) so to keep her weight in check. but when it comes to the matters of the younger members of her team, she’s been exceptionally weak to their whining.

hence, why they’re here now.

It’s too casual for comfort. Or maybe it’s because he doesn’t believe the casual affect for a second—his own included. Still, he bends down to grab a pair of house slippers from the cubby, sliding them towards Suran’s feet.

“Thanks.” She doesn’t mean that. Dujae’s place has half a mind of its own and he’s painfully aware of it now, peering into the darkness of the living room to catch the tell-tale glint of several fingerprint-laden water tumblers and misplaced record covers. “And no. Probably a bad idea.” Among others. But now he’s now painfully aware of his ankle, and he hobbles onto the other foot. And then again, and again, limping carefully to a stool at the kitchen island.

He nods towards the bag in her hands. “Special delivery?” Goes without saying—special as it gets.

she isn’t as adept at acting as if nothing’s ever happened. to suddenly erase history, even if it has been years. honestly, suran’s not even capable of keeping herself from overstepping. else, why would she be here? slipping into kim dujae’s house in his slippers on a wednesday night. 

“probably.” she follows behind him, eyes lowering to watch him hobble along the way. there’s a pang of guilt here, a sour fluttering in her chest that suran snaps her jaws around if only to keep herself from at an optimal neutral lukewarm temperature. 

her eyes flitters up to dujae’s face when he speaks, blinking slowly before lifting the bag in her hand. “yup. ko-suran-was-more-or-less-responsible special delivery.” more more than less. but he doesn’t need to know that. she manages a hint of a smile, setting the bag on the counter to unload the contents.

"you didn’t eat right?” she meets his gaze, “i’ll make you something.” then, as if she wasn’t going to take no for an answer, she beelines for the apron hanging off the side of the fridge. 

catch!

january 2020

( / cracks open a can of cold cass, taking a long sip before setting it on the hardwood floor. he sniffles, having just showered, the draft from the windows not being taken kindly. turns his head to motion at anyone nearby to close them, only to be dismissed because otherwise the whole apartment will smell like pork. which, fine. )

( / sighs and brings his drink with him, heading back to his bedroom to shrug his towel off his neck, pulling a sweater over his head as an extra layer for warmth. sits on the edge of his bed, ducking so he doesn’t bump into the bunk above. whips out his phone from the pocket of his sweats, squinting at the screen as his thumbs hover over, like doing that little circular dance thingy will magically transfer his thoughts to the screen )

to: suran [ 21:05 ] right so uh [ 21:05 ] did your sister like it?

@pgsuran

( ‘ it’s been an impossibly long day. but that’s what happens when family comes into town. suran had especially taken care to get time off filming to have dinner with her younger siblings—which naturally followed dessert, karaoke, before she was able to send them off. then, there’s the matter of going home and checking up on her other siblings ) 

( ‘ exhales once she sinks into the couch, having cleaned up everything and herself. now, it’s what? time to kick back and relax. or she tries. it isn’t long till she’s reaching for the remote to pull up today’s show, if only to monitor herself. ugh, hosting, she’s never been good at it ) ( ‘ then, the phone beside her shakes ) oh.

The buzzer goes off—he stumbles gracefully into the hallway to push for the unlock downstairs. Saves them both the hassle of intercom niceties and bides his time meticulously gathering his thoughts (and failing to spare a single one on the ensemble of t-shirt and sweats reflected in plain sight across from him). Lips flattening, Dujae has only the slightest inkling what this might all be about, but he’s not about to give into suspicion when there’s little to go on but single-word replies and the sudden recoil of time.

For all those years of sustained ear damage it comes as a surprise he picks up on the rustling plastic outside his door. And then it’s quiet for a while.

He doesn’t bother waiting around for the knock.

“Hey…” Dujae greets, expression glassy. “Not too hard to find, hopefully?”

it’s a short ride there. at least, it is when your mind is busy with unfavorable recollections of the past. a dreary reminder of things not to repeat in the future. and yet, you’re heading to his place now. lips twisting into a frown, she pulls her mask further up the bridge of her nose, careful to keep her face hidden the whole way through. there’s a brief moment of hesitance, evident in the way she paces back and forth before biting the bullet to hit the buzzer. can’t chicken out now.

though, she wasn’t sure what she expected. what she intended out of making the trip here. eyes boring a hole into the wood of the door, suran tries to realign her priorities. this is an act of guilt. not an olive branch. 

then, the door opens. 

“hey,” suran arches a brow, giving him a cursory glance over. “no, not really.” you’re a little stiff. yeah, she knows. she waits for him to step aside to step in, pulling down the cloth on her face while glancing around his flat, nose scrunching slightly in distaste. well, can’t say she’s surprised.

↳ 18:48: not yet ↳ 18:48: you?

He can’t help but compare the pith of their present exchange to the heavily punctuated, prematurely curtailed counterpart of five years past. Both seem to spell out the very same: bad news. 

Don’t scroll up.

Training his eyes anywhere but the screen of his phone, he springs off the fridge to yank the door wide open, checking for its contents. The sad reality of a liberated bachelor: last night’s leftovers and three individual-sized airlock containers of banchan. Kloud beer. Cherry tomatoes. Eggs. Exactly two.

[18:50] 💬 i don’t eat after 6

she pauses here, thumb stagnant on the screen of her phone for a brief moment before setting it on the table in favor of turning to the fridge, pulling the door open to pull out a few choice items. (thought process here is: might as well, right? if she’s going to go all the way there. might as well) today’s leftovers (grilled meat) and ingredients for doenjang jjigae. unnecessary. she repeats in her head while bagging everything up. completely unnecessary.

yes, but you feel bad. the tinny voice rings in her head, she pulls a frown here, scoffing under her breath and heading for the door. 

now that she has nothing to say to.

now?

@pgsuran

고수란 ↳ 18:47: it’s [XXX]-ro [XX]gil [XX] in mapo

Color him confused—brows knotting like wrangled thread, Dujae props himself against the fridge door, its cool sleek facade fighting against his quickly warming body. His thumb swipes and he blows an unwitting whistle. There she is: top of his Kakao pecking order, never thought he’d see the day. Ankle throbbing like a bad omen, he leans harder to his left side to punch in his follow up.

↳ 18:48: you’re coming over? or

[18:49] 💬 yes. 

this was a bad idea. no matter how she looked at it, it was a bad idea. but suran supposes it’s unavoidable. especially when she is the cause for his sprained ankle. judo flipping him six ways from sunday (as instructed) and enjoying it too. still, this was a bad idea. suran looks over to the bag of i’m obviously doing this because i feel guilty patches and compression wraps. teeth raking over her lower lip in thought. briefly, she considers the matter of boundaries, toeing the line of their already complex history, and the time. well, might as well.

right, so miss former judo star (star? barely) now idol! her on-screen personality teeters more to the boyish side, tough/playful/casual etc (real big sister vibes); despises doing aegyo and is very competitive. loves slapstick and puns. 

off-screen she is about the same, only a lot more anal about things pertaining to their performance etc (strive for perfection, always!). also likes to cling and annoy the younger members (excessive cooing and babying @maknae). bit selfish, bit childish (exercising the right to be both now that she doesn’t have to be looking after her kid siblings ((though really it’s about the same being in unnie line @cross_over though so idk))), resident fixer-upper around the dorms (yes, duct tape does fix almost everything)

known for: “strong”, reliable, eating, default .png smile in nearly every group selfie, bg dance machine, rumored dating scandal (****RUMORED****) 

likes keeping fit (works out often (pilates, aerial yoga etc)), hiking, taking up new hobbies (very much a try everything type of person), early morning jogs (all alone with nobody to bother her), cleaning/chores (it’s therapeutic okay), cooking (trying new recipes :D) 

dislikes petty disagreements (getting caught up in them etc), having to explain herself (NOT good with words when she’s overly emotional, runs her mouth; thankfully has never gotten to that point with any of the team), being lied to, ridiculously short hemlines for all their stage outfits (=-=), cucumber, bitter-melon, dieting (but thankfully doesn’t have to do too much with a high metabolism like hers)

things used to work part-time at a couple places when she was a trainee (bbq joint, barista, etc), has a few times asked certain stars for signs for her younger siblings, does occasionally fall into a pann backhole looking herself up (and getting mixed feelings out of it), tries to update social media often/interact with fans but isn’t good at solo vlives (b/c she’s never sure of what to say), will 100% fall asleep if she sits still for long enough so she always keeps! it! moving!, knows her limits well and so never tries to do things she’s not adept in (so she doesn’t embarrass herself AND the group), big fat crush on kim soohyun 

currently learning english to communicate with international fans, some embroidery (*Attempting), learning new choreo