the truth was built to bend, a mechanism to suspend the guilt
Peter's lips are stained with lies, sweet little lies that roll from his tongue in an almost beautiful way. They poison those around him, make him feel stronger with every victim that falls in his traps. Anyone who believes what he says is foolish, or at least a bigger fool than he is himself. Strong - that's how he feels when he sees how people feel bad for him, the puppet master of a thing bigger than he can actually handle.
It's almost too easy. Finding out information, picking up things that no one with a snake tattooed on their arm should hear, Peter is like a rat, even when he is in his human form. Stealing bits of information to use for his own good, self-preservative and dependent, just like the animal that is disgusted by many.
He is good at it, he knows he is. One thing he excels at, unlike so may others. It's a surprise, that he doesn't slip, that he manages to keep up his façade all day. He hadn't thought he would be able to, had assumed that this would immediately go wrong - that people would notice the obvious change. But they didn't.
It's not like he's happy. He's filled with negative emotions, still. Most of those feelings about his own person, disgusted with his mistakes and choices. It's a never ending circle of self-hatred and pride, part of him despising what he's doing, another part satisfied with the discovery of his talent to sneak around and deceive.
It is only when he is alone, that Peter allows himself to let go of the lies he is slowly growing addicted to. Only then, that he doesn't feel the numb feeling that seems to take over whenever he's with other people. It is only then, that he feels scared, uncontrollably scared. The traumas of the cellar haunting him, the tattoo on his arm burning aggressively as he tries to control his breathing. Panic attacks happen more often, his lungs seeming to shrink over the day, only returning to their usual size after completely blacking out, becoming a quick-breathing mess.
It is then, that he gives in to his cravings, then that he stops fighting his unhealthy urges and binges until he is sure he won't be able to walk. It is then, that Peter feels the weakness of his humanity, the reality and danger of his position, which can sometimes feel so god damn exciting. It is in those moments, that he realises he is losing himself, that he is slowly becoming someone he doesn't want to be, someone with so many faces that he isn't even sure which one is the real him.