Petite & Lean

Constantly torn between “my sexuality is none of your business” and “lmao I hope they don’t think I’m straight god forbid”

No but this is actually me with every little petty issue I have

david: virgo, libra, sagittarius, taurus  alex: LEO, gemini, aries table: cancer, pisces, scorpio, aquarius

You forgot Capricorn. Capricorn is also an Alex. I love my Capricorn but they are the mOST EXTRA.

#not seeing your friends in a while like (via somniumaddiction)

i was at the doctors today and there was a guy sitting behind me with his baby, and the baby starts crying in its pram and the guy just stands up, faces the kid and says “Come on now, don’t cry, you’re better than that”

also, someone else asked him how old his baby was and he said without even a moments hesitation, “he’s 36 he’s just got a height problem” and I’ve only just come to terms with the fact I’ll never say something that funny in my life

It high-key sounds like you stumbled in halfway through a comedy about a dude who’s friend got magicked into a baby

So ,I’m a music teacher and every year we have what are called “walk through observations”. Basically, this means that 4 times a year the principal or vice principal comes into my class to assess my teaching. Fine. Sure. No problem. Well, today I was doing an activity with my 1st graders called “Musical Groceries”. Basically, they make up a fake shopping list and then together we figure out what the rhythm of the words on the list is. To do that, a small group of students plays the beat on the conga drum while the rest of the students move around the room while chanting the word. It sounds weird but it’s a great way for the kids to figure out the relationship between syllables and rhythm. They quickly get bored of walking the rhythm so I let them come up with their own ways of moving around the room.( skipping, hopping, etc) One student suggested they hop around the room like frogs, way down low to the ground. Okay fine. Or it was fine until my vice principal walked in to do my observation only to find 20 seven year olds hopping around the room like a hoard of little hob-goblins, rhythmically chanting “BREAD! BREAD! BREAD!” while five other kids played ominous beats in a drum circle. I have never seen anyone look so confused in my life and I really don’t want to know the rating I got on my observation.

The best part of this which people often don’t realize is that Dwight was the one who took the family picture of them. So him seeing that picture is even more startling to him.

I’m not entirely sure that the statue really needed to have a tit out.

How dare women try to have nipples.

Actually I’ve seen this before and I can tell you— it’s because these women were bad ass pirates and when they killed someone they’d expose one or both breasts so that when their victim died, (s)he knew that they were killed by a woman.

Fascinating!