p e t e r is a common, masculine name of Greek origin meaning stone or rock. While this name was not given to Peter because of itās meaning, its meaning does fit him in a certain way, as he likes it when people rely on him, when heās peopleās rock.
There is no funny anecdote regarding Peterās name, apart from the fact that Caroline Pettigrew deemed the name to be simple and so beautiful. It simply seemed like the right name.
The only nickname that comes with this name and that Peter can appreciate is Pete, whereas Petty Peter is one he despises.
b e r n a r d is a masculine name of Germanic origin that Peter absolutely despises. He does not know the meaning, nor does is mother, and this is most likely a good thing, as it is completely ironic: it means brave as a bear, which he does not believe himself to be, even though he does want to be brave. Peter disregards his middle name, as he thinks itās rather ugly. It was given to him as his grandfather was called Bernard, and while he is a figure of importance in his life, he would rather keep his middle name quiet.
p e t t i g r e w is a Scottish surname. Peter himself is, also Scottish, and his motherās side of the family has been for ages. The name is derived from the french word āpetitā, which means small, and ācruā, which means growth. It can be said that, in canon verse, Peter grew smaller over the years, losing good aspects of his personality. Petti could also be seen as a version of petty, which Peter could definitely be seen as.
Peter was born on the second of January in the Royal Alexandra Hospital of Glasgow. He is a Capricorn.
Capricorns have this sense of melancholy and necessity for structure and work because inside they feel they are unworthy and need to continuously prove their worth.
This perfectly fits Peter: he has a certain sense of melancholy to him, as he is a pessimist. However, his need for structure is something that he can identify with more. This is not to say that heās neat ā itās quite the opposite, actually ā but he finds comfort in knowing what his days will look like and likes to know what he can expect. Uncertainty is something that he is most familiar with and something he hates. Ā Feeling unworthy and having the need to prove himself come from deep rooted insecurities, and something that Peter is struggling with on an almost daily basis. Being someone who lets people overshadow him and is easily overshadowed, he feels unworthy of the friendship he has with many people, most obviously the one of the other three marauders, and Peter is always in search for other ways to prove himself and others wrong that he does deserve their friendship.
Capricorns most important need is security, financial and material security. This is the driving force behind their ambitious character and all other personality traits of desire to succeed.
In canon-verse, Peterās need for security is indeed the driving force to join the Death Eaters. With a mind than can be strategic at times, he chooses to join the winning side, rather than the losing one because he has a dying need to feel safe. However, in this universe, Peter has ambition that he doesnāt know what to do with, and so he does not know how to get financial or material security: his talents, that are truly useful in a war, cannot be use here and arenāt ones he has discovered yet or is aware of.
They are very concerned with their public standing and their prestige. Capricorns are lonersbut they also need to feel appreciated, but they are excellent at hiding this truth. Capricorns are very self contained and they have many faces they present to the world, they are known as aloof and indifferent but this is them concealing themselves from the world, unfortunately, theymay never know who they really are. This causes feelings of insecurity and causes them to question their own self worth.
This bit is almost scarily accurate. Peter is very concerned with the way people perceive him and while he does not know how to make people see the real him (as he does not entirely know who that is), but he is limited by his own insecurity. A loner and an underdog, Peter is someone who keeps things to himself, rather than share them ā he allows his worries to eat at him until there is not much left ā and while this could mean he could come off as closed off and non-approachable, he is the perfect liar and so hides his tendency to keep everything to himself. The bit about many faces is also true, because as I said, he is a most excellent liar and can so make people believe what they want to. We see this when he is a spy, but you can also see this in the way he communicates with teachers and other superiors.
Capricorns make it difficult to get close emotionally because once they let someone in, they do not want to let them go and emotional connection makes them feel vulnerable yet satisfied at he same time. This is an ongoing internal conflict of contradictions inside the Capricornās mind.
Peter is close to a small amount of people, as he has a hard time getting close to them and perhaps, deeply rooted, scared to allow himself to get attached to people as it might get him hurt. However, those he is close to are people he is incredibly dependent on. He cannot imagine himself without the rest of the marauders, they have become a part of him, after all. The fact that he has befriended and remains to be friends with three people who are so incredible is something that, like mentioned above, both satisfies him and makes him feel vulnerable.
Iain de Caestecker, Jeremy Allen White, Evan Peters
Peter has never questioned his gender as a male, and so is a cis-male.
However, his sexuality is something that causes a lot of insecurities and uncertainty for Peter: He is asexual and demi/panromantic. However, these terms are not ones he knows yet, and so he is stuck believing something is incredibly wrong with him. After all, being stuck in a castle with a bunch of teenagers means that heās confronted with romance, public affection and overheard stories of sex all of the time. The fact that he is incapable of relating to this is just making him feel like an outsider, more. He has, after all, kissed girls (and a boy, as well), and while he was under the impression that every single one was beautiful and smart, he didnāt like the entire experience and couldnāt understand why people would do this. He is, however, attracted to people romantically, but as he is demiromantic it takes a strong bond before he can fall in love. He has not spoken to anyone about this, in fear that itās merely in his head or that heās indeed as odd as he believes he is.
f o o d ;; [ tw - binge eating disorder ]
Peter deals with a light version of an eating disorder. When it exactly started is unclear to him, but food is simply a comfort, a way out. Many may share this habit, but not in the extreme ways it occurs to Peter. He eats until his stomach aches, not tasting any of the food, just wanting to feel whole when he feels empty, distraught or down. It is something he has been struggling with since he was a young boy, something that he will most likely be struggling with his entire life, as the idea of binging alone can bring a certain amount of peace to his distraught mind.
While he makes himself believe he has got it under control, there have been moments, namely during the summer, that things eloped: when his mother confronted him with the lack of money they had, for example, and that they might have to move to another house. Or when he had bought the books for his last year at Hogwarts and panicked once he realised he barely understood one word of the Transfiguration book. In moments like those, to quiet down his worries, he will empty the cabinets, put the food he is planning on eating in a pile, and once heās content, heāll start organising. What he wants to eat first on the left side, what he wants to eat last on the right side. All in a neat line. The process is calming, something he sometimes longs for ā alternatively, he may organise the food in the cabinets, not touching any. He then starts eating and not taste any of it. He just wants to chew, he just wants to make himself feel whole because he feels so empty. And eating seems like the only god damn thing he can do.
Peter has not spoken to anyone about this issue as itās something he is incredibly ashamed of. And above all, is it really a problem? It only occurs every now and then, and heās under the impression that heās got it all under control.
On a lighter note, Peterās favourite food is cheesecake, but he also has an insane love for sausages, pumpkin pies and soups. He does not eat ice mice nor mice pops out of principle, but he loves Honeydukesā fudge. He is also an okay cook, which he learned from his mother, but he does not really enjoy cooking.
p a t r o n u s ;;
Just like ones Animagus, a Patronus is a representation of oneās personality in form of an animal. This is why it is only logical that Peterās Patronus is a rat, just like his Animagus form. The rat is a small creature and their size allows them to escape easily and go unnoticed. According to Asian culture, rats are selfish, self-destructive, amoral, suspicious, envious and greedy. Their positive traits are intelligence, shrewd and meticulous. Rats are in non-cultural regard seen as gross creatures, who live of leftovers and trash. They are dependent on others, in their case humans and change themselves to fit in. They live in small groups. Rats are also easily to handle and train because of their adaptability, intelligence, and focus.
All of these perfectly fit Peter, as Peter is both physically and metaphorically small. Heās like a shadow, remaining unnoticed when he wants to. The negative traits that rats have in Asian culture all align with Peterās personality. He is selfish, even though this part of his personality is one he keeps from his friends most of the times. He wants things, has an ambition that sits deep in his soul, a hunger for power and admiration that is fuelled by selfishness. Self-destructiveness contradicts this, but is still someone that Peter can identify with, even though he may deny it. His eating habits are unhealthy ā the young man dealing struggling with a binge eating disorder ā and he has an insecurity deeply settled inside of him that causes dark, negative thoughts to sit in his head, and as the days pass and graduation gets closer, he is only worsening his self image by destroying it with thoughts. Amorality is a trait that will most likely not come up in this universe, but Peter is self-serving and could be willing to ignore his morals for his own benefit. Suspiciousnessis something that is linked to his insecurity, Peter having a harder time trusting people and letting them get close ā there is still a desire to be liked and have friends, and it is not like he is cold, heās just cautious. There is also part of him that is suspicious of the honesty of his three closest friends. It, after all, doesnāt make sense to him that they call him their best friend. Peter is also incredibly envious. His admiration for his friends is slowly turning into a sickening envy, he wishing to be like them and knowing that that is impossible. Lastly, he is greedy in a way. Both materialistic and in different ways, Peter wants things.
Intelligence may not be a trait you would think of when looking at Peter, who is not at all the smartest person in the classroom. However, intelligence isnāt limited to being smart in school, and Peter, being an observant thing, is smart when it comes to people. He notices things, sees patterns in their behaviour and will later in his life use this talent when heās among the Death Eaters. The reason Peter is shrewd also comes from this, and his ability to understand things and make good judgements is mostly because of the logical and sociological way he thinks. And when Peter is determined to do something right he can be incredibly meticulous. Peter is most definitely an adaptable person, and while it may take some time for him to adjust, he is able to deal with a lot of different scenarios. His ability to keep his feelings shut in and his need to be perceived positively make this so: Peter wants to be easy to deal with, and not be too much trouble. He also is able to be focused, but this is mainly for things heās passionate about. So is homework for the subjects he enjoys done with more ease than those he deems less interesting, mainly because he is able to concentrate better.
i n t e r e s t s ;;
First and most importantly: graphic novels. Peter has loved and will always love stories about heroes, and most importantly those about superheroes. To grow up in a world of magic, there seem to be no limits: but even in the wizarding world, there are no Spider Mans or mutants, and that is the thing that makes him love them so much. He was introduced to the comics through a muggleborn family friend, and from that day on it was the only present he asked for Christmas and his birthday. Peter started to value bravery through those comics, and perhaps found comfort in them too. Especially Spider Man, as not only did he and this superhero share a first name, but Peter also found a certain inspiration in the fact that Peter Parker was an underdog but was still able to be, well, awesome.
Secondly, games. Peter has, in his eyes, little talent, but he is undeniably talented in both Gobstones and Wizarding Chess, due to excessive practice and perhaps a natural knack for the two of them. If it were possible, he would become a professional player in both of the games, but it seems impossible. Quidditch is another game Peter likes, but mostly to observe, as skills in the sport are little. It is safe to say he is one of the biggest Gryffindor supporters, having had banners laying under his bed ever since the year James made it onto the team. These were hand-crafted and charmed with a spell that makes it easy to hold them, and Peter is known to drag them around whenever there is a new game. They are hard to miss, after all, the banners being gigantic.
Lastly, music. There is nothing Peter likes more than a good old rock band, as heās heavily under the impression that rock is way better than punk. His favourite band, by far, is Pink Floyd, but Queen, The Doors, The Jimi Hendrix Experience and Aerosmith are others he loves. However, he also, secretly, kind of enjoys ABBA, but donāt tell anyone. He can appreciate punk, by the way, but heās certain that any of the before mentioned bands are better than The Sex Pistols, The Clash and The Ramones combined.
s Ā m o k i n g & o t h e r Ā v i c e s ;;
Peter is completely and utterly addicted to cigarettes. To breathe in destructive smoke is something that relaxes him, and simply something that has grown to be part of his every day life. He has no means to quit, as he does not really care about the risks. He started a year and a half ago, and spends most of his money on packs of smokes.
[ tw for the mention of weed usage ] Peter is also kind of hooked on smoking weed, which is more a recent development. He is still trying to become more talented at rolling joints, as heās a complete disaster when it comes to that, but has found himself enjoying it more than smoking cigarettes. Weed is a coping method, almost, but also just something that relaxes Peter and makes him, well, funnier.
Peter likes beer. Bitter, fresh, sweet ā he likes it all, and is always in to try a new flavour. However, when at a party there will always come a time where he switches to firewhiskey, the taste less gross when heās remotely tipsy already. He despises wine and believes it is the grossest beverage on earth.
A whole lot of giggling, Peter is the person who cannot finish a sentence when completely wasted without breaking out in laughter approximately every two seconds. He is approximately 4.7 times more funny than his sober self. Apart from this, he may try the following things (and fail miserably): dance, sing, dance and sing while imitating Freddy Mercury, be philosophical, write essays, charm something (which usually leads to it breaking), any kind of magic, imitate Dumbledore, let people piggyback ride on his back.
w a n d ;;
Peterās wand is from Hawthorn, a wood that is full of contradictions and complexity, and fit a wizard that has a lot of inner conflict, something that in my mind reflects his inner conflicts and those that will come with time. The core is made from Dragon Heartstring, and these wands donāt find it hard to switch master, which is something that fits Peter, together with the fact that unlike an unicorn hair core, this wand is capable of dark magic. The length, which reflects the size of personality and physical length, is longer than the wand he gets in 1996 in canon-verse because I believe that over the years Peterās personality fades and slowly disappears while the urge to survive grows: he loses his humanity. The length is 10.5 inches, which is just a little longer.
f a m i l y & y o u t Ā h ;;
Peterās father was never in the picture. He had left his mother as soon she announced she was pregnant: he could not afford the shame of having a child without being married, and besides, he was not at all in love with her. And so, heartbroken, Caroline was left to her own devices and raised Peter on her own, with help coming from her parents quite often. She was not strong, not made for this life, but she still did it, and well, too. While the Pettigrew household was short of many things, mostly money, there was always enough love: Caroline loved her son.
Life with his mother wasnāt the most stable, with her switching jobs ever so often because nothing ever seemed to be right. There was little money, little space and very little time to go out and make friends, and Peter spent a lot of time at his grandparents house during the time she worked. There, he was a big fan of listening to his grandfatherās tales while his grandmother gave him a glass of her homemade lemonade together with a freshly baked cookie. It was them who taught him to read, them who introduced him to reading, and Peterās second home has always been his grandparentās home. At the age of seven, his grandmother died a painless death, dying from a heart attack on a Saturday afternoon. The funeral remains to be one of Peterās most painful memories, as he barely had any friends growing up, and his grandmother had played an immense role in his youth.
He grew more quiet, after that, as his grandfather did, too, and he started to read books rather than hear his grandfather tell him stories. He started to yearn more for the moment his mother would pick him up, as the silence that now ruled the little house of his grandparents was simply torturous. At this age, too, Peter became more curious as to who his father had been. His mother didnāt want to speak of the man who broke her heart, and Peterās vision of his father remained to be unclear and foggy. He craved a father, truly, and a feeling of insecurity started to settle deep inside of him as he started to realise that his father had not wanted him.
c a r o l i n e Ā p e t t i g r e w is a single, forty year old woman who currently works as a hairdresser in a small part of wizarding Glasgow, and most of all: Peterās mother. Peter and his mother have always been close, and you could most definitely describe him as a stereotypical mamaās boy. His needs are put before hers in an almost ridiculous extent, as she wants him to be happy. While the two of them are close, Peter does not dare speak to her about any issues bothering him, and lately finds himself worrying about her in the same way she does for him.
b e r n a r d Ā p e t t i g r e w is a widowed, seventy one year old man who is unemployed, but one hell of a story teller, and most of all: Peterās grandfather. The older man played and plays a big role in Peterās life, as he was the free babysitter than watched over him while his mother went to work. Peter does not see him as often as he used to, but he does try to owl him as often as possible to check up on him and tell him some of his stories in return of all those he told him.
t h e Ā o t h e r Ā m a r a u d e r s are nothing but hilarious, idiotic and talented people who excel in pranks and are, most of all, Peterās best friends. He canāt imagine life without his best mates. He doesnāt know who he would be without James, Sirius and Remus, as they have helped him grow, as they have shaped him to who he iis now. He feels owes a massive amount of things to them, as he does sometimes feel like their inferior. He, after all, is not like them. He carries a blind admiration for them, namely James, which is getting less irrational over the years, but still causes a feeling of being less than them, together with a mild envy towards the three of them. Either way, the marauders are his family and he loves them thoroughly.
1. teenage icon - the vaccines ]
Oh look at me so ordinary, no mystery, with no great capabilities,
But I could make out as if I had it but you know,
God Iām so obvious and I should let it go, oh I donāt know.
Iām no teenage icon,
Iām no Frankie Avalon,
Iām nobodyās hero.
Reserved and shy, your average guy,
No piercing stare, just out of shape with messy hair,
But I always figured I was somebody in wait,
And now Iām guessing that my moment must be late cause Iām here, oh
Iām not like them
But I can pretend
The sun is gone
But I have a light
The day is done
But Iām having fun
I think Iām dumb
Or maybe just happy
Think Iām just happy [x3]
My heart is broke
But I have some glue
Help me inhale
And mend it with you
Weāll float around
And hang out on clouds
Then weāll come down
And have a hangover ā¦
Have a hangover [x3]
3. accept yourself - the smiths ]
And thereās no one but yourself to blame
anything is hard to find
when you will not open your eyes
anything is hard to find
for heavenās sake
anything is hard to find
when you will not open your eyes
when will you accept yourself?
when?
Whatever makes you happy
Whatever you want
So very special
I wish I was special
Iām a creep
Iām a weeirdo
What the hell am I donāt here?
I donāt belong here
5. eskimo - damien rice ]
Tiredness fuels empty thoughts
I find myself disposed
Brightness fills empty space
In search of inspiration
Harder now with higher speed
Washing in on top of me
6. still donāt know - chefāspecial ]
But man I still donāt know
What i wanna be when I grow up
I donāt wanna be a moneymaker
Never wanna be untrue
I wanna be just like you
Right, so maybe I can train my left brain a bit
Whenever people talk smart I can say some shit
Like some amazing shit
Maybe I should get into the sales bizz and make mills
like my neighbour did
7. with a little help of my friends - the beatles ]
Does it worry you to be alone?
How do I feel by the end of the day?
Are you sad because youāre on your own?
No I get by with a little help from my friends
Mm I get high with a little help from my friends
Mm gonna try with a little help from my friends
8. seventeen - the sex pistols ]
We like noise, itās our choice
Itās what we wanna do
We donāt care about long hairs
I donāt wear flares
See my face not a trace
No reality
I donāt work, I just speed
Thatās all I need
Iām a lazy sod, Iām lazy sod
Iām a lazy sod, Iām so lazy [x2]
I canāt even be bothered
Lazy Lazy
9. little lion man - mumford and sons ]
Weep, little lion man,
Youāre not as brave as you were at the start
Rate yourself and rake yourself
Take all the courage you have left
And waste it on fixing all the problems that you made in your own head
10. save rock and roll - fall out boy ]
In a world full of the word yes
Iām here to scream
No, no
Wherever I go, go
Trouble seems to follow
