She/her (singular), they/them (plural), other pronouns available as DLC Game dev, programmer, writer, musician | 22-year-old autistic transfem Currently working on: ASWTESCY (send commands!!), Inscrybed, some musical experiments
I'm Meadow, a game dev/chiptuner/writer/pixel artist who posts about that occasionally but mostly uses this blog to reblog things; a proper tagging system might exist eventually
This blog has changed a lil bit since its creation to be a lot less fandom-oriented so I'm gonna replace this paragraph when I feel like it
I also run a little interactive web adventure, you can find it at @aswtescy-adventure! It runs on reader commands, so feel free to submit one ^^
Also I'm actually several things, more on that below the cut
System intro
👾Lux (they/she)
The one writing this whole post, I'm one of our hosts and the most active poster, I also have a sideblog at @normalest-lux-ever, be warned because it does have (tagged) NSFW and (tagged) Negative Opinions
☀️Summer (she/her)
Our caretaker, another of our hosts, and my twin sis, Summer is basically a constant beam of sunshine that everyone loves, she likes writing and art the most out of all of us, and she also loves animals and anything else she thinks is cute or pretty; she has a sideblog at @all-that-summer-had-to-say where she mostly posts about writing or reblogs anything she finds cute, be warned because she does think bugs are cute but she tags them appropriately
🍂Autumn (she/her)
Our third and final host, Autumn was discovered much later than Summer but together the two of them make up the September subsystem; Autumn's pretty similar in a lot of ways but more free-spirited and with more of a backbone, she also likes working on music and UI design, and is better at relaxing than Summer
Autumn here!!! I also like political theory and RPGs, and I have a sideblog that's mainly for posting about my interests at @autism-season (✿^‿^)
💞September (she/her, maybe plural they/them?)
We usually have one person in our sub-front at all times and switch infrequently, but sometimes we co-front and merge into a single presence in the front! It's kind of like fusion from Steven Universe, in a way?
Also, we're dating!!!
📝Jenny/Morgan (she/her)
Formerly a co-host but she's faded more into the background in recent months, Jen is great at exercise, manual labor, kissing me (Lux), and sounding like she swallowed a thesaurus; she's also pretty good at communicating with the current fronter or co-fronting, usually me but she's hung out with Summer and Autumn too
🌕Winter (any)
Our anger holder, we've had some conflicts but we're generally pretty cool nowadays, kinda the only one to have any masc leanings but ze's indicated some interest in femininity, she hasn't really had much of a chance to explore gender yet tho so he uses any pronouns for now
✨Loop (they/them)
Fictive from In Stars and Time, they mostly talk to me (Lux) and encourage me when needed, they also love talking to other Loops
💖Mew Mew (she/her)
Fictive from Deltarune, adding myself to our pinned because I formed after it was written! I'd say more about my identity, but I don't want to spoil the game for anyone, mew...
💣Maddie (she/her)
Fictive. Figuring myself out. Ask me later.
🌼Daisy (she/it)
Ouppy
💜Violet (she/her?)
Smaller version of me (Lux), she's only come out a few times, she's kinda me and kinda not, idk I just try to make sure she's safe and happy when I see her
💙Luci (she/her)
Missing person, presumed to be some snapshot of our 16-year-old self but hasn't been heard from in a while
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Look, I understand that you're going through some shit, and you know I'll always support you, but I just had to fight your shadow-self in the kitchen. Yeah, I was getting breakfast and the enfleshed eidolon of your existential alienation was shooting, I don't know, some sort of beam.
#also i recognise that the self that walks in darkness is not inherently any more true than the self that walks in the light#but i've gotta ask: is there something going on that i should know about#like#pronoun-wise?
the word empathy is WIDELY misused, even in mental health spaces.
empathy:
is responding to a person’s emotions by experiencing the same emotion as them (i.e. feeling sad when something sad happens to that person, or happy when something happy happens to that person.)
is an automatic response that cannot be controlled
cannot be learned
sympathy:
is recognizing that another person is in pain, even if you do not experience that pain, and offering comfort to that person
is something a person must actively choose to do
can be learned
compassion:
is showcasing care and support via words and actions
is something a person must actively choose to do
can be learned
if you need an example of a person with no empathy who practices sympathy and compassion, look no further than data from star trek: the next generation. he doesn’t have emotions at all, but he’s still kind to people and wants to help them.
stop telling people that they’re evil because they don’t experience empathy. stop equating empathy with morality. stop equating empathy with caring. stop saying that cruel people “lack empathy.” stop throwing neurodivergent and mentally ill people under the bus.
Yes. 100% of the time. Provided there is toilet paper available.
No. Not 100% of the time. If toilet paper is available I sometimes choose not to
Voting ended onAug 14
I just learned something I find absolutely disgusting about my boyfriend and I am fucking nauseous about it but need to get him peer reviewed before I completely loose my mind because I am so afraid of over reacting.
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this video deserves at least three views per viewer, because there is no following both the belly dance and the added text at the same time while still giving either one the attention it needs for full appreciation, but watching only one or the other will miss more than half of the artistic intentions here
It's really frustrating and bleak that transfemmes are getting picked apart so much that in order to justify our existences we are having to start with like. Metaphysics and epistemology. And I mean like the very fundamental goddamn basics of metaphysics and epistemology. I feel like we would have to begin arguments by discussing questions like "why is there something rather than nothing" and "cognito ergo sum" and fuckin'... Allegory of the Cave type of shit, and then we have to take that shit to "what is gender?" and then we have to take it to "what is sex?" and then we have to take it to "what is oppression? what is misogyny? what is the entire history of medicine in three minutes?" and then and then and then, we have to have all those motherfucking conversations just to begin talking about what being a transfem is like and what specific problems we face and why other people should care about us.
But even if we did go to all that effort to explain our positions we'd still probably get another heaping pile of "you're dividing the community! you should be kissing instead of infighting! the state hates us all equally! stop playing oppression olympics!" like we always do.
I really wish I didn't have to be a self-educated philosopher just to be a girl.
yank nationalists (whether they're consciously aware they're being one or not) think they found the cheat code with "Actually it's American Exceptionalism to say that the USA is uniquely evil!" Let us set aside the fact that USA Exceptionalism is a very specific term that doesn't mean "the USA is unique," and that these people are grossly misusing the concept. The fact of the matter is, the USA really is that evil. The USA is the only country to use nuclear weapons in wartime and deliberately targeted civilian population centers. It is the only nation with the amount of the overseas bases it has. It is the only nation to not be a party to any swath of international treaties, including one on the rights of children, because they value the abolity to be Protestant social reactionaries more than they value coexisting with rest of the world.
The USA sends more Christian missionaries than other top 5 nations combined, and spends more on its militaries than other top 5 nations combined. It is the only country to vote against lifting the blockade on Cuba that it has been keeping up for decades, among other human rights resolutions it keeps voting against in the name of "we should be able to do what we want." It is a nation with a mindset of a toddler holding dangerous weapons that it has shown willingness to use. Even by its nationalists' flawed definition and application of exceptionalism, the USA is a uniquely bad entity on the global stage.
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Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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i know it's been said on here and said again but people do so desperately need to genuinely do intentional work to build distress tolerance and start figuring out how to recognize the differences between danger, discomfort, and when a situation that is merely uncomfortable is triggering an emotional flashback in your bodies because it resembles a past situation that actually was dangerous which makes it difficult to realize/believe that this moment is merely uncomfortable.
i spoke to an allistic person who said their autistic classmate had a meltdown in class, during which the autistic classmate collapsed to the floor in the middle of the room, screaming and crying. they said it was "terrifying" and they were arguing for the autistic student to be removed permanently from the program.
when i asked whether their autistic classmate's meltdown was dangerous or merely uncomfortable, they said, "i felt like i was in danger!"
yes you should, actually. that's life. upsetting things happen. no one should have to experience any discomfort. but we do. we get stung by bees and sunburns and headaches. we live in bodies in the world.
autistic people are human beings who have the right to exist in society, including during meltdowns. having one class of your entire semester interrupted by a singular meltdown is not anymore of an infringement upon your entitlement to education than having your class interrupted by a fire alarm or cancelled for a snow storm.
one of my peers once experienced a cardiac event 10 minutes into class. it was terrifying. it was desperately upsetting. i was contacted by the school and offered counseling because i happened to be the one who managed the situation until paramedics arrived. everyone was worried about my classmate first and foremost, and then about me. no one blamed anyone, and certainly when my classmate happily recovered and returned to school, no one thought they should be removed from the program.
the difference being that people believe a disabled personal, especially with cognitive disabilities, in crisis are not experiencing something outside of our control, but instead that we are in fact making a choice to make a scene, out of malice.
even like just laying down and daydreaming, or thinking and planning future projects in your head, that requires some amount of mental energy and many people do not have that much energy. if you've never felt such a lack of energy then I envy you
