Careful, he may look like a boy but he's a demon

“Nope”

“Ya, you’re welcome or making sure you’re not dead half the time, Pete,” she said.

“I’m too hungry to listen to you”

“Don’t you remember?  We’re not mates anymore.”

“Yeah you claim you’re done being an asshole yet you still act like one”

“Well, I wouldn’t be surprised.  That sounds like something you’d do.  I kinda wanna go wash my mouth now…”

“...I didn’t fucking lick it I’m joking, mate”

“It’s my own pencil, it’s not like someone else’s hands have been on it.”

“What if I told you I licked it”

“This is my pencil, I’ll do whatever I want to with it.”

“Don’t come crying to me when you get some disease”

“And also dead. You still listen to me when I tell you not to.”

“You would be the opposite of okay, Peter. You would be dead.”

“No I would be happy”

“You’re welcome. But I do hate having to babysit a teenager, but at the same time, I’d be sad if you were gone.”

“I would be perfectly okay if you let me do what I want”

“Because I’ve pried it out of your grubby little hands, Petey.”

“Yeah thanks a lot for that”

“Oh Merlin, Peter, I’m probably the only reason why you’re alive half the time because of the stuff you decide to eat.”

“I’m alive because there is so much other food I haven’t had yet”

“How is th-this fun?”

“Seeing you get all emotional”

“I know you too well to not know that you’re going to eat yourself into a coma, Peter.”

“That sounds awesome”

“Have fun trying not to throw up after eating piles on piles of pure crap.”

“You underestimate me”

“So I’ve g-gathered.”

“Really? You look kind of slow”

“…I kn-know,” he said softly. “I know no one c-cared when I died. You don’t n-need to tell me.”

“But I like reminding you about how worthless you are”