PERUM

i dont know how to do this uhh

Main blog: @jasonravis

Description

Perum is a Homestuck inspired comment directed comic about little alien people called perums. As of writing this, there are 79 pages, and I'll be working on uploading them to this page. The main website is my recommended way to experience the comic: jasonravis.com

Idk how sections of the comic will be separated, if I do the whole act thing, or a chapter system, or whatever, I guess we'll just see as we go

Guide

[C] - Command page; if this is the most recently posted page, comment below what you want to happen next!

[S] - Sound page; animated pages with sound. Usually uploaded as Youtube videos.

Start here:

prepare...

ive been procrastinating uploading the pages onto here because im lazy but i got to 100 pages and we've started a new segment that is easy to jump in and then catch up later comment on the comic to decide what happens next (its like homestuck,,,)\

Time to go through THIS dumb fucking list again. Maybe if you kill all of them it’ll let me get back to business as usual faster. But also. STOP BEING SUCH AN IDIOT.

Hmm. No. Not him. Or her. Or them. Uhhhh. That guy’s too important for now. It’ll be really bad if you kill him. Oh, wait, this might be entertaining...

Great going, dingus. Should’ve tried “pondering life” with that one first, I guess.

Unfortunately that stretchiness does not extend to their esophagus. The Drink Absorber only makes it halfway down your throat before you choke to death.

You open your stretchy, amphibious gullet, giving ample space to try to eat the drink absorber. Some may think such an action looks a little peculiar, with such exaggerated movements. But for a Perum, this is nothing out of the ordinary. Their stretchy mouths are simply a part of who they are.

Eat… the drink absorber? Hmm, maybe this is a good opportunity to test out your latest theory- if you consume the device, maybe you’ll gain the ability to absorb drinks with your simple touch, rather than having to use the utensil as an extension. This seems like a reasonable idea to you. Sure, why not?

Ah, yes, this will do! Your trusty DRINK ABSORBER. Place it in your cup, and all of the benefits simply enter your body. Honestly, you hate the taste of chamomile tea, but you can’t deny its benefits. Good thing there are easy ways to get around it.

You check your FOOD UTENSIL DRAWER. You have one utensil for any possible meal scenario you can find yourself in. If you lose anything… well, it’s not going to be easy to replace.

Ahhh… this will surely help prepare you for your new assigned occupation.

You take to your kitchen and pick a few chamomile flowers to brew some exquisite tea. You were lucky to be assigned a room with a kitchen. Not many of your tier are so lucky. It’s a bit of a mess right now, but you have a friend who will come over later to help fix it up.

The thought of being so reckless around your SPECIAL PLANTS is simply foolish!! Non-grass plants are so hard to come by already, it’s unthinkable to hurt what you’ve managed to gather. Besides, these vases are made out of INDESTRUCTIBLE PLANET PROTECTION WISDOM (TM), so even if you tried, nothing would happen.

You still find the notion foolish.

A young PERUM stands in front of his front door. Morning has just arrived, and it’s about time for work. Exactly 1 week ago was this perum’s 14TH BIRTHDAY. This occasion is critical in a perum’s upbringing, as it is when they receive their second occupation assignment. This perum worked his previous assignment for 7 years, as all young perums do. Now he will work for 7 more years. His nerves are off the rails, but he must push on to get ready for the day’s work. What should he do?

Oh, here. Let me swap it out for you.