What Happens in the Velvet Room Stays There

Junpei: Split up, seriously!? Dude have you ever seen a horror movie? When you split up, the monster hunts you down one at a time. Starting with the good looking comic relief guy a.k.a me!

Minako: Well if we're in a horror film then dibs on being the final girl!

Yukari: Hey!

Minako: Brother!

Minato: What? It's an expression!

Minako: Not one you should use lightly!

Yu: Would you guys please stop shouting? My head is killing me.

Akira: *sneezes* Same.

[Sojiro walks in with soup for everyone and yes it was because he was asked by Akira]

Sojiro: I got the soup now can one of you please explain how all of you managed to catch the flu at the same time?

Minato: I have a shitty immune system.

Minako, pointing at Minato: I got it from being around him.

Yu: I got it from Yosuke or from those two. I'm not really sure to be honest. I think most of us got it from the twins though.

Minako: Hey!

Sojiro: What about you?

Tatsuya: I got it from Jun. He got it at work and has been apologizing profusely ever since I got it.

Naoya: I'm not sure but ether I caught it from one of these guys or from just being out places.

Sojiro: Okay so I guess it makes sense. Anyway soup is on the table I'm leaving before one of you gives it to me.

[After the six are alone]

Minato: Wait a minute. Akira how did you catch it?

Akira: What do you mean?

Minato: You never mentioned how you thought you got it.

Minako:

Yu:

Tatsuya:

Naoya:

Akira: Oh uh I caught it hanging out with Ryuji.

Minato: And was this hang out a nice dinner perhaps?

Akira: I mean decent yeah but how's that relevant?

Minato: Just curious how you got it and none of the other thieves did.

Naoya: Stop grilling Akira we should eat the soup before it gets cold.

[While everyone is distracted]

Minato, whispering to Yu: You owe me 100 yen.

Akira: Hey.

Yu: Hypothetically, who do you think would win in a fight between me and Minato?

Akira: You mean in a punchy fight?

Yu: No personas just two guys.

Akira: Minato.

Minato: Ah-Ha thanks Kira!

Akira: No problem.

Yu: But wait a minute why?

Akira: From a tactical standpoint Minato stands the better chance because he's willing to fight dirty.

Yu, to Minato: Seriously? How do you fight dirty?

Minato: I'm willing to: pull hair, poke eyes, and do groin stuff. Basically whatever I gotta do.

Yu: Oh uh-

Akira: C'mon detective haven't you ever heard the saying short people are closer to hell?

Minato: *death glare*

Ryuji, with his hand up bouncing like a little kid: I know, it was don't wear shorts around Morgana.

Akira: No.

Yusuke: Don't call Morgana a cat because he will vehemently deny it?

Ryuji: Dude just say it pisses him off.

Akira: Okay you're right but no.

Akechi: Your cat is a raving lunatic.

Yukino: So do ether of us even have circus skills?

Maya: I took a circus arts class one summer!

Yukino: Thank goodness. What did you learn?

Maya: I worked out on the trapeze a bit. But, uh, I ended up breaking a lot of bones.

Yukino: You seem to have healed well though.

Maya: What? Oh! No, not my bones!

Maya: I was supposed to catch this guy, and, uh, I dropped him. Onto someone. And they both fell into some other people.

Yukino: That’s terri-

Maya: Who hit the tent support, which tipped the popcorn cart, which set fire to the audience risers, which collapsed with 48 people sitting on them.

Yukino: Well, I'm sure it wasn't totally your fault.

Maya: No, I'm positive it was. But on the plus side I did learn a valuable lesson about the trapeze.

Yukino: What's that?

Naoya: Why?

Minato: Akira and Yu messed with an ouija board. I told them not to but they didn't listen so now our rooms are cursed.

Naoya: Okay, but why didn't you guys go to Tatsuya?

Yu: We did but he wasn't much help. He doesn't know how to banish spirits, so now he's just throwing salt at them and yelling, "Does this look like a hotel to you?!"

Naoya: {pulls out a cellphone and starts dialing}

Akira: What are you doing?

Naoya: Isn't it obvious? I'm phoning a friend.

Minato: Who-

Akira: What do you mean by that?

Hidehiko: Uh, I'm making a knife stick

Nanjo: What is a knife stick?

Hidehiko: You know, because the odds of surviving a hand to hand attack increase exponentially with distance, so...

Minako: Yeah, sure. You go down there, you turn left, you look for a broken down, stressed-out young man approaching middle age who looks like he's functioning on two hours of sleep and one working brain cell, then you follow him.

Akira: And he'll take me to Minato?

Philemon: We are not married.

Nyarlathotep: Relax, it’s metaphorical.

Philemon: I don’t want that as a metaphor for what ever this is.

Nyarly, grinning: Why's that? Too accurate for you Philly?

Philemon: Okay fine, but if we’re metaphorically married I want a theoretical divorce.

Igor: Are you two like this all the time?

Nyarlathotep: Yes.

Akira: Okay, but in my defense, Minato and Yu each bet me 50 yen I couldn’t drink all that shampoo.

Naoya: That's not what I-

Naoya: *gives him a confused look*

Tatsuya: Cats have it easy they can eat and sleep whenever they want.

Naoya:...

Tatsuya: If you vent to them about life they just sit there. It's like they're saying "mwa ha ha that sounds rough puny human luckily I'm a cat."

Naoya:...

Tatsuya:...

Akira:

Minato:

Akira: I wasn't going to be dramatic. I don't always use dramatics... Do I?

Yu:

Everyone else:

Akira:

Yosuke: *eyes widen*

Yosuke, in realization: I'm in love with Partner! Why didn't you say anything!?!