Be The Change!

This week's leadership lesson is inspired by the move, "We Were Soldiers", starring Mel Gibson. The movie is based on a real life battle during the Viet Nam War. Mel played Lt. Col. Hal Moore, commander of the 1st Battalion of the 7th Calvary. On November 14, 1965, Lt. Col. Moore, and 450 of his men, were dropped by helicopter into the la Drang valley. They were immediately surrounded by around 2,000 North Vietnamese soldiers. Thus began the first full-fledged battle between U.S. and North Vietnamese soldiers. Over the next two days U.S. soldiers were killed but they inflicted around 1,200 casualties and forced the Communist forces to withdraw.

The movie, and the battle on which it was based teaches us 10 leadership lessons:(You can read General Moore’s book.)

Be head strong.

when the setbacks come (and they will), a leader picks themselves up and keeps moving forward.

There's always a way. Either you find one, or you make one.

If you think you might fail in a given situation, then you already have. A leader must exhibit the will to succeed no matter what. Mind you, you might now FEEL that way, but you have to exhibit to your team that you DO feel that way.

Lead from the front.

The real-life Hal Moore said, “A leader must be visible to the people he leads. He must be self-confident and always maintain a positive attitude.

”"Managers" tell you, "Go do that thing I want you to do.". A LEADER says, "Come on. Let's go do that thing we need to do."

There IS a link between self-discipline and self-confidence.

More from Hal Moore, “A man who has more self-discipline has more confidence in his ability to do the job. There is a close connection between discipline and confidence.

”When you're placed in charge, treat your subordinates with respect, dignity, and common courtesy. Being placed in charge doesn't instantly make you the smartest person in the room.

Make decisions fast.

This comes into play when you're pressed for time. Go with your "gut", trust your instinct.

When you DO have the time, get all of the information you can, weigh the pros and cons, and come to a tentative decision. But don't announce it - sleep on it overnight and then re-evaluate it in the morning when you're rested.

Empower others.

Delegate the decisions that you don't HAVE to make to subordinate members of your team.

Make sure they know what needs to be done and by when. Make sure they know about any constraints.

Make sure they have the resources to get the work done that you're delegating.

Make sure that you GIVE credit when your team performs well. Conversely, make sure you TAKE the blame when they don't.

There are proper places for recognition and reprimanding.

This comes down to the tried and true nugget you've all heard. "Praise in public and punish in private.

"NEVER tell your team they're "screwed up". If you do, then they are. Why? Because you're the leader and you said so.

Take responsibility.

As a leader, you'll get plenty of praise and recognition. When things go wrong, as mentioned in #6, YOU take the blame.

When someone under you fails, generally you're at least half responsible for their failure. Were your instructions clear and understood? Had you trained that person sufficiently? Did you give them the resources they needed to accomplish the job? Did you put them in a "no win" situation?

The importance of learning and listening.

A leader must be a lifelong learner.

Leaders that fail are usually those that think they know everything already. They resent having to learn something new or adapt to a new situation.

You don't learn only from good leaders. Chances are you'll have far more bad leaders during your lifetime than good ones. Try to learn something from everyone.

You also learn by listening. When you listen, you become twice as smart because now you know what you know PLUS what the other person knows!

Introspection and initiative.

We all engage in "self talk". It's up to us to determine what kind of talk that is. A leader's self talk needs to be much more self-aware. A leader needs to ask themselves, "What am I doing that I shouldn't be doing? And what am I NOT doing that I should to influence the outcome in my favor?

"The idea behind introspection is to drive initiative.

There's always one more thing you can do to influence the outcome of a given situation. After that, there's always one more thing, and on and on and on.

What goes up, must come down..

A good leader aims to make their subordinates truly feel that they are valued members of the team.

The same loyalty that goes "up" the chain-of-command must also go "down" the chain. Make sure you GIVE the loyalty you EXPECT.

This week's tip comes from the book "The Mousetrap Way" by Manoj Vasudevan. I was lucky enough to sit in on the session at the Toastmasters International Convention in Vancouver in 2017 (I believe) that was inspired by his book. I'm going to abbreviate it some to make for a shorter read.

Once upon a time there was a poor farmer who lived with his wife in a small house. One day the poor farmer bought a mouse trap because his wife had complained about the mouse in the house.

The mouse panicked and ran out into the yard where he saw the hen, the pig, and the cow. He ran up to the hen and said, “There’s a mousetrap in the house!”

The hen clucked, “Mr. Mouse, I understand that this is a grave concern to you but it is not my problem.”

The pig grunted, “I’m very sorry Mr. Mouse. There’s nothing I can do. Be assured you’re in my prayers.”

The cow said, “I’m so sorry for you Mr. Mouse but have you ever heard of a cow getting caught in a mousetrap? It’s not my problem.”

Late that very night there was a loud BANG! The mousetrap had been set off.

It was pitch dark in the house so when the farmer’s wife got up to get the mouse out of the trap, she couldn’t see what was in the trap.

A snake was caught in the trap. When she leaned down to pick up the trap the snake bit her!

Hearing his wife cry out the farmer rushed to the kitchen with a lantern. He saw the snake and killed it. But the damage had been done.

The farmer’s wife grew gravely ill with a fever. Thinking to make her feel better the farmer slaughtered the hen to make some nice chicken soup.

The next day family and friends flocked to the farm to see how the wife was doing. There were so many people the farmer had to slaughter the pig to feed everyone.

Sadly, two days later, the farmer’s wife passed away. So many people came to the funeral that the farmer had to butcher the cow to feed everyone.

The farmer was in a state of shock. All he wanted to do was kill the mouse to make his wife happy. But in the process he lost everything. He became sad, lonely, and depressed and lost the motivation to work.

Three months later the poor farmer passed away.

So what can we learn from this folk tale? RESPONSIBILITY.

In an organization, ANY problem is EVERYONE'S problem. In the folk tale no one thought the mousetrap was their problem yet it turned out to be everyone's problem.

The #1 reason most clubs fail is because no one takes ownership of the club's problem(s). Getting guests to attend isn't MY responsibility, it's the VPPR's. Getting guests to become members isn't MY responsibility, it's the VPM's.

Here's the thing. If guests don't attend, they can't become members. If you don't get new members on a regular basis, existing members end up filling multiple roles at every meeting. They get burned out and eventually stop attending. The club dies.

This week's post is inspired by a quote from legendary basketball coach John Wooden. During a 12-year period as the head coach of the UCLA Bruins' basketball team, Coach Wooden led them to ten NCAA national championships, including a record seven in a row. During this stretch his teams won a NCAA record 88 consecutive games. I think it's fair to say that coach Wooden knew a thing or two about leadership.

Coach Wooden said, "Do not let what you cannot do interfere with what you can do."

Focus on what you can control

As leaders we’re often faced with problems. When we try to brainstorm solutions, either in our mind or with our fellow club officers, we fall into the trap of finding problems with every proposed solution, why we CAN’T do what’s being suggested.

Focusing on what we can’t do makes the problem seem even more difficult to solve. After a while you begin to think that it’s unsolvable.

But what if we change the dialogue just a little? What if we ask, and focus on, what we CAN do? One thing that happens is that stress levels reduce. If you’re focusing on what you control, you don’t worry or stress over what you can’t!

Another thing you can do to reduce your stress is to go through all of the possible negative outcomes and figure out what’s the worst that can happen. Is it something you can live with? Stop worrying about it then. Is it something you can’t live with? What can you do to mitigate the outcome? Can you live with it then? Good – move on and stop worrying about it.

Research has shown that 855 of the things we worry about – never happen. And when they DO happen – 80% of people surveyed said they handled the outcome better than they thought they would.

This week's post comes from the blog of Jesse Lyn Stoner of the Seapoint Center for Collaborative Leadership:

Congratulations! They’ve made you a manager of other people. Now what? Maybe you’ve had bad managers in the past and think that this is your chance to do it right. The jump from being an individual contributor to first-time manager is a dramatic and challenging one. It requires you completely change the way you see your role and how you produce results. You may have been a fantastic worker at your job. Does that mean you’ll be a fantastic manager? Not necessarily. Hopefully these tips will get you off on the right foot.

Approach your new role with humility

Change your focus.

Learn the skills of management.

Acknowledge your changing relationships.

Understand the big picture.

Find a mentor.

While you might THINK you know what a good manager should do, it’s really not as easy as it might look. Understand that you’re going to make mistakes. You’ll earn the respect of your team when you own up to your mistakes and ask for help now and then.

You might have been a superstar as an individual contributor but now you have an entirely different job. Your job now is to help your team and to support them in their work. One of the hardest thing for most first-time managers to learn is delegation. It’s hard to give up control and still be accountable for the results.

Being a manager requires skills such as communication, how to give feedback (sound much like Toastmasters?), and how to delegate. Your employer may, or may not, provide any help with this. Regardless of what THEY do, YOU can still teach yourself by reading blogs and books and taking advantage of free online training. To put it bluntly, YOUR success is going to be YOUR responsibility.

One of the hardest things about becoming a manager for the first time is that your relationship with your former peers has changed. You don’t have to be cold and aloof and completely ignore them, but you can’t be buddies like you were before. You can still be friends but you have to be clear about the boundaries between friendship and work. And do NOT let your personal relationships cloud your work decisions.

Remember what it was like when you were an individual contributor and your boss made decisions you couldn’t understand. Your team is going to have the same questions so it helps if YOU understand where the company is going and how your team supports the company’s mission and goals.

This week's post comes from Tim Kight of the Focus 3 blog.

Change is inescapable. It’s going to happen. It’s just a fact of life. You have two options. You can resist change, fight it, try to avoid it – and you’ll find that things become increasingly difficult for you. Or, you can adjust and adapt to the change in a positive and proactive way. Given the pace of change in today’s world, this is an essential skill to develop.

The difficult part about change is that it asks you to forget old ways of doing things and learn and embrace new ways that are going to feel foreign and uncomfortable at first.

Today I want to talk about the 6 mistakes you should strive to avoid when faced with change.

Mistake #1 – Expecting things to stay the same.

Unfortunately, we don’t live in a world where things turn out the way we expect. If we did I’d be writing this from my 200-foot yacht somewhere in the south Pacific. The world is unpredictable and constantly changes. So expect, and be prepared for, things to change!

Mistake #2 – Blaming and complaining

Complain, scream, cry, or be as stubborn as you want. Unless YOU are the one driving the change, you’ll accomplish nothing except making the change more stressful. You only have a certain amount of time and energy each day so instead of blaming the organization or complaining about the change, why not invest your time and energy into increasing your capacity to the change?

Another thing you can do is to zoom out to get the 10,000-foot view and try to understand WHY the change is taking place. Once you know that, you can zoom back in and figure out HOW you can most effectively respond.

Mistake #3 – Withdrawing

Withdrawing into your comfort zone and hiding from the change doesn’t help, it won’t stop the change. While you’re hiding away, the rest of the world is changing and leaving you behind. Yes, change is uncomfortable but you need to learn to embrace the discomfort and do the work that change necessitates.

Mistake #4 – Being controlled by the past or intimidated by the future.

I get it. Routines are comfortable. But remember, the only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth of the hole you're in. Continuing to do the same things but expecting different results is the very definition of insanity! Change is the bridge to the future – YOUR future. Yes, change is scary. Stepping outside your comfort zone is scary. But growth doesn’t happen until you leave your comfort zone.

Mistake #5 – Dragging your feet.

“Slow walking” and passively resisting the change isn’t going to make it go away. All you’re doing is wasting your time and energy. The sooner you adjust and learn the new skills and information required, the more successful and less stressed you’re going to be!

Mistake #6 – Seeing change as a threat.

Last week I mentioned delegation as one of the four "ations" of being a good leader. I thought this week I might go into further detail. To recap a bit about delegation in last week'e email, you have a LOT on your plate as a leader. There are a lot of things for which you are responsible for making sure get done. The demands on your time never seem to end while you only have 24 hours every day. I would like to point out that just because you're "responsible for" making sure something gets done, that doesn't mean you necessarily HAVE to do it YOURSELF!  As the leader, there are always going to be some things that you absolutely have to do yourself, you can't delegate them. But a LOT of what you're "responsible for" are things you CAN delegate to team members. With that in mind, here are the 4 parts to effective delegation:

What gets delegated?

Anything you don't HAVE to do yourself should be delegated.

To whom does it get delegated?

Try to pick people whose skillsets match the requirements of the task you're delegating.Do they have the knowledge, resources, skills, and time?

Ensure they know exactly what is required.

This is probably the area that causes the most problems when delegating tasks to others. Just because YOU think you explained it thoroughly doesn't mean THEY understood what was expected.

Have them repeat back, in their own words, what they think you're expecting of them.

Are there any policies or procedures that might affect how they get the task done?

Make sure they know what "done" looks like. How will they know when they've finished? How will they know whether or not they've done a good job? Do you expect them to notify you?

Follow up.

This is probably the second largest area of conflict when it comes to delegation. Some people believe that when you delegate a task to them, it's theirs to do however THEY see fit. They don't like it when you come along asking questions.

Following up is a way of establishing trust between you. As you see they're doing a good job, trust is built, and you don't need to follow up as closely.

This week's tip is actually 13 tips. From one of the most famous, and greatest, leaders of our generation - General Colin Powell. One of my favorite quotes from General Powell is, "Leadership is the art of accomplishing more that the science of management says is possible." 

With that said, here are General Powell's 13 Rules of Leadership:

1.    It ain't as bad as you think! It will look better in the morning.

Leaving the office, at night, with a winning attitude affects more than you alone; it conveys that attitude to your followers.

2.    Get mad, then get over it.

Instead of letting anger destroy you, use it to make constructive change.

3.    Avoid having your ego so close to your position that when your position falls, your ego goes with it.

Keep your ego in check, and know that you can lead from wherever you are.

4.    It can be done.

Leaders make things happen. If one approach doesn't work, find another.

5.    Be careful what you choose. You may get it.

Your team will have to live with your choices, so don't rush.

6.    Don't let adverse facts stand in the way of a good decision.

Superb leadership is often a matter of superb instinct. When faced with a tough decision, use the time available to gather information that will inform your instinct.

7.    You can't make someone else's choices. You shouldn't let someone else make yours.

While good leaders listen and consider all perspectives, they ultimately make their own decisions. Accept your good decisions. Learn from your mistakes.

8.    Check small things.

Followers live in the world of small things. Find ways to get visibility into that world.

9.    Share credit.

People need recognition and a sense of worth as much as they need food and water.

10. Remain calm. Be kind.

Few people make sound or sustainable decisions in an atmosphere of chaos. Establish a calm zone while maintaining a sense of urgency.

11. Have a vision. Be demanding.

Followers need to know where their leaders are taking them and for what purpose. To achieve the purpose, set demanding standards and make sure they are met.

12. Don't take counsel of your fears or naysayers.

Successful organizations are not built by cowards or cynics.

13. Perpetual optimism is a force multiplier.

Today's tip comes from an article in the Harvard Business Review. Peter Bregman's son was a downhill skier. His son complained that he always seemed to finish up solidly in the middle of the pack.

Mr. Bregman was an executive and leadership coach. He coached skiing on the weekends and had been a ski racer himself at his son's age. He didn't give him any advice right  then and there. We've all been there. At that moment, when we haven't achieved what we thought we could, what we really need is a hug and to know that someone loves us!

Later though, after the disappointment had worn off. Mr. Bregman talked to his son and asked him how he felt about the race. "I never get in the top 10.", he complained.

Mr. Bregman then asked his son two questions. Two questions that can help YOU decide if you want to get better at something.

Do you want to do better?

Are you willing to feel the discomfort of putting in more effort, and trying new things that will feel weird and different, and won't work right away?

I believe as Mr. Bregman does. ANYONE can get better at ANYTHING. But in order to get better, in order to be coached productively, you need to HONESTLY be able to answer "yes" to BOTH of those questions.

Do you want more members in your club? Are you willing to do the difficult work it's going to take to bring in new members?

Do you want to become a better speaker? Are you willing to go and speak at different clubs and compete in contests?

Do you want to take the next step and be a District leader? Are you willing to do the work it takes?

This quote reminds us that even the smallest of forces can cause monumental changes.

If Steve Jobs hadn't been fired from Apple, he never would have bought Pixar and then revolutionized Apple when he went back to the company.

Walt Disney was fired as a newspaper editor for his lack of imagination. If he hadn't been fired, we never would have had Mickey Mouse, Disneyland, or Disney World.

Colonel Sanders got his start with a restaurant by the side of the road. If it hadn't failed, there wouldn't be a KFC today.

Failure isn't necessarily a bad thing. As a matter of fact, it's impossible to achieve great things without it. But it's what you do with failure that truly matters.

1. Learn from the experience.

Failure is just feedback telling you that something wasn't working and that you need to change it. Treat "failure" as feedback that will help you improve. Did you not work hard enough? Did you overestimate your abilities? Did you have the right resources? Do you need to tweak your plan?

Remember your first few speeches? Did you get any feedback telling you that there were some things you needed to work on? Did those "failures" make you stop speaking?

2. Ask brutally honest questions.

If you're not getting new members, ask yourself, "Have we gotten lazy and just aren't promoting ourselves anymore?", "Are our meetings as good as they could be?", "Is our meeting time/day/location conducive to getting more guests?"

"Failure" leads to success - but only if you are willing to honestly consider that maybe you need to change some things before trying again.

3. Don't be afraid to ask for help.

Remember that the seven officers in the club are (or should be) a team. There will be times when they need to rely on you. And there will be times when you need to rely on them. You can't know, or do, everything so don't be afraid to ask for help.

If your fellow officers don't have the answers, ask your Area Director. If they don't know, ask your Division Director, or one of the Trio. We will GET you the answer or help.

4. Remind yourself why it's important.

It's very easy to give up on something. After all, NOT doing something is always easier than DOING something. But you apparently thought the project was important enough to put time and energy into it in the first place. Now is the time to remind yourself why it's important.

5. "Failure" is what happened -  not who you are.

If you fail, right now, that doesn't mean you're going to fail the next time you try. Your current situation doesn't define you, it's where you happen to be right now.

If you put on an Open House and no one shows up. Does that mean no one will show up for your next one? If you put on a contest and it doesn't go very well, does that mean you won't learn anything from it and your next one will be just as bad? (The answer to both of these is "NO" by the way!)

I know it sounds cliché but it's very true - you don't "fail" until you quit trying.

There's actually a "thing" called "impostor syndrome". The term was coined in 1978 and is described as a feeling of "phoniness in people who believe they are not intelligent, capable, or creative - despite evidence of achievement." Basically they feel like frauds despite evidence of success.

Here are some things you can do to battle impostor syndrome:

Start by acknowledging it.

Change your mental programming.

Realize you aren't perfect.

Take note of your achievements.

Remember, you aren't alone.

Recognize and acknowledge these feeling when they emerge. Once you know what it feels like, you'll have an easier time overcoming it.

Realize that what you're feeling isn't founded on anything real.

Feelings of inadequacy are in your head.

Instead of thinking, "I don't know how to do this.", why not tell yourself, "I'm still learning, but I'll figure it out."

NO ONE IS! (Neither am I apparently, no matter how many times I tell my wife I am.)

If you wait for your ideas to be "perfect", nothing will ever get done!

You may NOT be perfect, but I'd be willing to bet you're good (if not great) at a lot of things.

Make a list of your strengths.

Make a list of areas you want to improve on and then focus on developing those areas.

You aren't the only person suffering from this. Find a mentor or someone else you can talk to about this.