Perroserpiente

I want the forest to come and devour this city, I want the rain to demolish my armor I want my ripped cry burning my lungs

with life.

Let the woods take me, they’ve told me I don’t deserve this pain, they’ve shown me tender winters are allowed to exist.

Let the flowers and plants cover this flesh I call my body, they’ve explained me there’s no gain on playing hide and seek; “The pressure in your chest may be there for a while -they said- but your skin is so much more than those 100 needles of despair and worry about what others will think distressing it”.

Please, let the branches of these eternal trees embrace my soul, they’ve told me there’s no point on feeding the constraining sadness and anger against those who hurt me cause at the end, there’s no one else's bones left but my own.

So let me wash my fear out, let me show my hands open and my chest naked; I still have to figure out how, I know but let my vulnerability protect me in a way that old rusted shell of angst and regrets never did, let it be fierce but calmed, let it stare straight to the world’s eyes and help me with the bounds the forest told me deserved to be healed.

You stare at me from the corner of the room. You don’t look surprised, you just look sad. I know the scars you’re looking at aren’t the ones in my chest but I just ran out of excuses to keep my clothes on. Also you know, I’m trying to do better now, like some days I even take long walks, mostly when it rains but it rains almost every day here so, you know, it’s good and oh, I discovered I just love staring for hours to the flowers I find in the park I mean, I fucking love flowers, they’re so alive Did you know any of that? I mean do you even wanna know any of that? I don’t think so, you don’t really look like you want to

and I’m definitely not telling you cause you`re staring at my raw naked skin from the corner of the room, motionless and you don’t look surprised, you just look disappointed.

This is a song for somebody else so don't worry yourself.

Don't get me wrong, I get it: The devil is right here in the details and you don't wanna hurt yourself by looking at me too closely. And I know you always think I don't but I do get it: truth is like blood underneath your fingernails and you don't wanna hurt yourself by looking too closely. But this is a song about somebody else so don't worry yourself.

Tell me how all this, and love too, will ruin us. These, our bodies, possessed by darkness; tell me we'll never get used to it.

No one can ever figure out what you want and you won't tell them -you won't tell me-. It's okey, I don't need to know.

And I want to give you more but not everything. It's okey, you don't need everything.

But tell me how all this, and love too, will heal us. These, our bodies, possessed by light; tell me we'll never get used to it

and still, someday -for fucking once in our lives- we’ll feel like we deserve it.

-

I still remember the first time you yelled at me. It was almost 5 am and you were digging a shallow grave for your heart cause it didn’t behave.

You were so pissed and I was sure it was at me, but it turned out it wasn’t.

I still remember I got the certitude from the outset that being there for you in that given moment will inevitably mean ending myself buried in that hole, but I saw you breaking from the entrails and I did not hesitate, I grabbed a shovel while you grabbed a spade and without sharing a single word, we dug together that shallow grave.

I was so silent and you were sure I was there just to get something cheap from you, but it turned out I wasn’t. by @bizarreinvierno

Japanese knife