Smug Sniper ™️

I am uh. In this deep. It’s 4am and Cross lives in my head rent free

His name is Windows. Yes, he can run Doom. No, you can't play Doom on him, he's not going to let you. Ok, maybe at $300/hr AND a full back massage.

24/7 tired, runs on the blackest diesel (coffee) there is. Man is overworked.

A walking hard drive, can store anything on him. Probably has the entirety of Wikipedia downloaded. Has twelve GeForce RTX 4080s installed on him, mostly because he can.

Hates his brother Machintosh with burning passion. That stuckup, preening asshole can go get it. Windows was made to be versatile and modular, which is why he is a jet. On the other hand, Mac was made to be sleek and dependable, but he somehow made that his personality, so he always acts as if he has a massive USB stick up his ass.

YALL HERE'S WINDOWS AND MACINTOSH

Windows is a funny jet, a decepticon scout + mechanic who kinda doesn't care about taking over the world or whatever, just wants to be in a stimulating environment where he can spend 100% of his time doing his hobbies. Macintosh is a decepticon (war) strategist. and a full time slimy bastard. 

Mac gets captured by autobots as a prisoner of war, something somethign ends up hating how they do shit so he speaks up with actually decent ideas (to pass time, really, cos he can't stand insufferable uselessness) 

While Windows struggles in the decepticon faction without his brother

mayybbbbe eventually Mac gets acclimated into the autobots, and brother goes against brother for a hot second? And eventually they both turn autobot because honestly, they realizes they are fighting for the same thing really, just using vastly different methods to achieve it (war crimes. war crimes.) And some more lighthearted headcanons:

Macintosh hates mansplaining, only to mansplain himself

always has that "I can fuckin do it better" attitude (tbh most of the time he can, tho it's because he learned it from Windows LOL)

Always upselling his skills and people actually WANT THAT

Them!!! Pt2

Click: We have three actually-

*Sounds of running footsteps progressively getting louder*

Anakin: OK WHERE ARE MY JEDI ROBES AND WHY AM I IN A DRESS.

Tech would be a hairless cat

Hunter would be an antisocial long-haired cat of some sort

Crosshair would be a simple grey tabby cat, but would sit on top of the fridge looking like he’s plotting a murder

Echo would be a friendly little three-legged cat

Omega would be a fluffy, all-white kitten

Rex would be a devon rex cat because… Rex

Fives would be an orange tabby who knocks glasses of water over for fun

Cody is a grumpy, yet handsome somali change my mind

Ahsoka is an European shorthair, often getting into places she shouldn’t get into with the help of Rex

Obiwan strikes me as a Norwegian Forest, who, in his prime, ruled the yard, but now as he’s retired from that position, is now always found perched on the corner of the fences, staring longingly at the world beyond

Been some drama going on, but regardless, here’s some of the 254th!

Viper and Fang are pretty much the two keeping the rest of the 254th in check

Without them honestly they’re just a bunch of ragtag babies

Flanker shampoos and conditioners his locks to keep it fluffy everyday, don’t question how he finds the time for self care when they’re on missions—he just does

Ghost? My, what a mysterious one.

Stims makes sure everyone isn’t dead or dying, also somehow keeps team morale up with his sarcastic remarks and tough love. He and Kix are always stressing about their brothers being too reckless or getting into danger

Crosshair: Really? Name one law

Ghost: Don't kill people.

Ghost: Oh, I'm always running

Ghost: The question is from what