I’m trying to quantify something.
COME OUT CIPHERS! HOWEVER MANY OF YOU THERE ARE ON THIS STRANGE PLATFORM!
HEY THERE SIXER! HOWZIT GOIN?
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@perpetually-sick-billcipher
I’m trying to quantify something.
COME OUT CIPHERS! HOWEVER MANY OF YOU THERE ARE ON THIS STRANGE PLATFORM!
HEY THERE SIXER! HOWZIT GOIN?

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*bill groggily rattles the bars of his own cage*
LLLEBBE OUDDA HERE! I... I'M BERVEGDLY FIDE! I DO'D NEED ADY MEDICINE! LEBBE GOOOOOO....
*he breaks into a coughing fit, and he slumps sleepily against the bars*
-@perpetually-sick-billcipher
You don’t sound fine at all. And you definitely need medicine.
NUH UH!
*he pulls himself upright, swallowing another cough*
I'B FIDE! WHAD DO YOU KNOW, ADYWAYS? BESIDES, YOU'D NEBER BE ABLE DO MAGE ME DAGE MEDICINE! UNLIGE DAT GID OBER DERE, I'B NOD SO GULLIBLE!
Note to self: spike sneezy’s water with cough medicine.
*he rocks backward and forward, still clinging to the bars. he seems to have not heard the vet and instead is groaning frustratedly, occasionally interrupted by a sneeze*
I'B BILL FUGGIN CIBHERRRRR!! I DO'D DO DOGDERS!! UGHHHHH......
Hey, you finally introduce yourself, how nice of you Sneezy! :)
*he glares*
I GOULD REARRAGE DA FUGSHODS OB ALL DA HOLES IN YOUR FACE IB I WADED DO! I GOULD... I GOULD...
*he blinks slowly, then sneezes rather aggresively, spewing snot all over the bars of his cage and the ground outside of it*
UGH...
Of course you could, who’s a cranky little kitty? Awww, you’re such a cranky little kitty, aren’t you Sneezy?
*groans upon seeing the new pile of snot to clear up before putting a sheet over Sneezy’s cage to contain further snottage*
I'B NOD A-
*he stops abruptly as soon as the sheet falls over the cage and stays silent*
…Okay…?
Are triangles birds or cats…?
*theres no response from the other side of the sheet. silence. sweet, sweet, sneezeless silence. well, if you ignore the screaming from a certain someone in the background*
*bill groggily rattles the bars of his own cage*
LLLEBBE OUDDA HERE! I... I'M BERVEGDLY FIDE! I DO'D NEED ADY MEDICINE! LEBBE GOOOOOO....
*he breaks into a coughing fit, and he slumps sleepily against the bars*
-@perpetually-sick-billcipher
You don’t sound fine at all. And you definitely need medicine.
NUH UH!
*he pulls himself upright, swallowing another cough*
I'B FIDE! WHAD DO YOU KNOW, ADYWAYS? BESIDES, YOU'D NEBER BE ABLE DO MAGE ME DAGE MEDICINE! UNLIGE DAT GID OBER DERE, I'B NOD SO GULLIBLE!
Note to self: spike sneezy’s water with cough medicine.
*he rocks backward and forward, still clinging to the bars. he seems to have not heard the vet and instead is groaning frustratedly, occasionally interrupted by a sneeze*
I'B BILL FUGGIN CIBHERRRRR!! I DO'D DO DOGDERS!! UGHHHHH......
Hey, you finally introduce yourself, how nice of you Sneezy! :)
*he glares*
I GOULD REARRAGE DA FUGSHODS OB ALL DA HOLES IN YOUR FACE IB I WADED DO! I GOULD... I GOULD...
*he blinks slowly, then sneezes rather aggresively, spewing snot all over the bars of his cage and the ground outside of it*
UGH...
Of course you could, who’s a cranky little kitty? Awww, you’re such a cranky little kitty, aren’t you Sneezy?
*groans upon seeing the new pile of snot to clear up before putting a sheet over Sneezy’s cage to contain further snottage*
I'B NOD A-
*he stops abruptly as soon as the sheet falls over the cage and stays silent*
*bill groggily rattles the bars of his own cage*
LLLEBBE OUDDA HERE! I... I'M BERVEGDLY FIDE! I DO'D NEED ADY MEDICINE! LEBBE GOOOOOO....
*he breaks into a coughing fit, and he slumps sleepily against the bars*
-@perpetually-sick-billcipher
You don’t sound fine at all. And you definitely need medicine.
NUH UH!
*he pulls himself upright, swallowing another cough*
I'B FIDE! WHAD DO YOU KNOW, ADYWAYS? BESIDES, YOU'D NEBER BE ABLE DO MAGE ME DAGE MEDICINE! UNLIGE DAT GID OBER DERE, I'B NOD SO GULLIBLE!
Note to self: spike sneezy’s water with cough medicine.
*he rocks backward and forward, still clinging to the bars. he seems to have not heard the vet and instead is groaning frustratedly, occasionally interrupted by a sneeze*
I'B BILL FUGGIN CIBHERRRRR!! I DO'D DO DOGDERS!! UGHHHHH......
Hey, you finally introduce yourself, how nice of you Sneezy! :)
*he glares*
I GOULD REARRAGE DA FUGSHODS OB ALL DA HOLES IN YOUR FACE IB I WADED DO! I GOULD... I GOULD...
*he blinks slowly, then sneezes rather aggresively, spewing snot all over the bars of his cage and the ground outside of it*
UGH...
*bill groggily rattles the bars of his own cage*
LLLEBBE OUDDA HERE! I... I'M BERVEGDLY FIDE! I DO'D NEED ADY MEDICINE! LEBBE GOOOOOO....
*he breaks into a coughing fit, and he slumps sleepily against the bars*
-@perpetually-sick-billcipher
You don’t sound fine at all. And you definitely need medicine.
NUH UH!
*he pulls himself upright, swallowing another cough*
I'B FIDE! WHAD DO YOU KNOW, ADYWAYS? BESIDES, YOU'D NEBER BE ABLE DO MAGE ME DAGE MEDICINE! UNLIGE DAT GID OBER DERE, I'B NOD SO GULLIBLE!
Note to self: spike sneezy’s water with cough medicine.
*he rocks backward and forward, still clinging to the bars. he seems to have not heard the vet and instead is groaning frustratedly, occasionally interrupted by a sneeze*
I'B BILL FUGGIN CIBHERRRRR!! I DO'D DO DOGDERS!! UGHHHHH......

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*bill groggily rattles the bars of his own cage*
LLLEBBE OUDDA HERE! I... I'M BERVEGDLY FIDE! I DO'D NEED ADY MEDICINE! LEBBE GOOOOOO....
*he breaks into a coughing fit, and he slumps sleepily against the bars*
-@perpetually-sick-billcipher
You don’t sound fine at all. And you definitely need medicine.
NUH UH!
*he pulls himself upright, swallowing another cough*
I'B FIDE! WHAD DO YOU KNOW, ADYWAYS? BESIDES, YOU'D NEBER BE ABLE DO MAGE ME DAGE MEDICINE! UNLIGE DAT GID OBER DERE, I'B NOD SO GULLIBLE!
WHAD ARE YOU DOIG ID HERE, GID? DESE GUYS ARE SO BUCH WEAGER DAN YOU! SEE, DEY CAN'D EBEN SDOB BE FROB BEIG HERE!
-@perpetually-sick-billcipher
OHH, THAT'S GREAT FOR YOU! IF I KNEW A WAY OUT OF HERE, I WOULD HAVE DONE IT ALREADY!!!
... I just wanna go home now... and these JERKS LOCKED ME IN HERE!!! THEY'RE DOCTORS!!! WITH MEDICINE!!! I HATE IT HERE!!! that... that... THAT LIAR BROUGHT ME HERE!!! >:( HE SAID THEY WEREN'T DOCTORS AND THEY ARE AND THEY WON'T LET ME OUUUT!!! LET ME OUT OF HERE!!! GET ME OUT!!!
*bill sneezes on the bars, sniffs aggressively, then laughs*
WELL, AI'D DAT A SHABE! I'D HELB, BUD I DO'D WADDA SDIG AROUD WHED DOGTORS ARE IDBOLBED. IB DEY GED A HOLD OB BE, DEY'LL-
*he stops to sneeze again*
ID DOED'D MADDER. I'B NOD SDIGIG AROUD MUCH LOGER!
grrrrr...
YOU'RE GETTING YOUR SNOT ALL OVER THE CAGE! THEY'RE GONNA THINK IT'S MINE OR SOMETHING! >:( UGH, THAT BETTER NOT GET ME SICK TOO! I DON'T WANT TO GET STUCK HERE LONGER OR TAKE MORE MEDICINE. JUST- JUST OPEN THE DOOR OF THIS BOX SO I CAN RUN OR SOMETHING?!
HM...
*bill turns upsidedown, floating closer to the cage, before flipping rightsideup and laughing*
NAH. I DO'D DINK I WILL! YOU SEEB DO BE DOIG JUSD FIDE IN DERE!
*he coughs, not even bothering to cover his eye-mouth*
BESIDES, I DO'D WADDA BE HELD RESBOSIBLE IB YOU DECIDE TO FOLLOW BE! I'B NO BABYSIDDER!
... I'M NOT GOING TO FOLLOW YOU, YOU [CURSE WORD]ING JERK!!! JUST LET ME OUT OF HERE!!! THAT'S ALL I'M ASKING! SIMPLE, RIGHT?! LET ME OUT!!! AND QUIT COUGHING AND SNEEZING ON ME!!!
*bill laughs, but it quickly turns into a coughing fit, directly onto pt through the bars. he takes a moment to stop before he responds*
IB YOU'RE GODDA BE SO BEAN ABOUD ID, DEN I'B NOD GODDA HELB AD ALL!
. . .
[His eye twitches and he glows red as he glares.]
... YOU'RE GONNA GED ME SIGG. >:( I DON'D WANNA DAKE MORE MEDICINE!!!
. . .
[CURSE WORD]!!!!!!!
*bill laughs, floating back a little*
DAT'S WHAD YOU GED FOR BEIG RUDE DO BE, GIDDO! SUBBER!
... grrrrrrrrrRRRRRRRRrr...
[He begins shouting every profanity he knows, which is an astonishingly large list. Thanks neighbor Larry! Occasionally he stops to sneeze or cough but it goes on for several VERY LOUD minutes.]
*unfortunately, the screaming and yelling attracts the attention of a nearby nurse, who takes one look at the lethargic, sniffling, slightly green-tinted triangle in front of the cage and goes rushing off to find someone to help capture him. bill is none the wiser, laughing hysterically at the situation*
[He notices and decides to pipe down immediately in the hopes they won't notice his own illness.]
*bill doesnt notice and keeps laughing. the nurse comes back with two other nurses and a small syringe. before he even realizes theyre there, they lunge at him and stab the needle into his leg. unfortunately for him, its the strong stuff, and it takes affect almost immediately. he glares, first at the humans, then at pt, then slumps unceremoniously to the ground with a wet squelch*
[He watches as it happens in horror. And then screams in terror, predictably.]
*one of the nurses picks him up gingerly, gagging at the sheer amount of sick all over him. another peers into pts cage and frowns at the snot all over the bars. they lean over and whisper something to the last nurse, who narrows their eyes at pt. all three leave with bill, but its clear one of them will come back later. rip pt*
WHAD ARE YOU DOIG ID HERE, GID? DESE GUYS ARE SO BUCH WEAGER DAN YOU! SEE, DEY CAN'D EBEN SDOB BE FROB BEIG HERE!
-@perpetually-sick-billcipher
OHH, THAT'S GREAT FOR YOU! IF I KNEW A WAY OUT OF HERE, I WOULD HAVE DONE IT ALREADY!!!
... I just wanna go home now... and these JERKS LOCKED ME IN HERE!!! THEY'RE DOCTORS!!! WITH MEDICINE!!! I HATE IT HERE!!! that... that... THAT LIAR BROUGHT ME HERE!!! >:( HE SAID THEY WEREN'T DOCTORS AND THEY ARE AND THEY WON'T LET ME OUUUT!!! LET ME OUT OF HERE!!! GET ME OUT!!!
*bill sneezes on the bars, sniffs aggressively, then laughs*
WELL, AI'D DAT A SHABE! I'D HELB, BUD I DO'D WADDA SDIG AROUD WHED DOGTORS ARE IDBOLBED. IB DEY GED A HOLD OB BE, DEY'LL-
*he stops to sneeze again*
ID DOED'D MADDER. I'B NOD SDIGIG AROUD MUCH LOGER!
grrrrr...
YOU'RE GETTING YOUR SNOT ALL OVER THE CAGE! THEY'RE GONNA THINK IT'S MINE OR SOMETHING! >:( UGH, THAT BETTER NOT GET ME SICK TOO! I DON'T WANT TO GET STUCK HERE LONGER OR TAKE MORE MEDICINE. JUST- JUST OPEN THE DOOR OF THIS BOX SO I CAN RUN OR SOMETHING?!
HM...
*bill turns upsidedown, floating closer to the cage, before flipping rightsideup and laughing*
NAH. I DO'D DINK I WILL! YOU SEEB DO BE DOIG JUSD FIDE IN DERE!
*he coughs, not even bothering to cover his eye-mouth*
BESIDES, I DO'D WADDA BE HELD RESBOSIBLE IB YOU DECIDE TO FOLLOW BE! I'B NO BABYSIDDER!
... I'M NOT GOING TO FOLLOW YOU, YOU [CURSE WORD]ING JERK!!! JUST LET ME OUT OF HERE!!! THAT'S ALL I'M ASKING! SIMPLE, RIGHT?! LET ME OUT!!! AND QUIT COUGHING AND SNEEZING ON ME!!!
*bill laughs, but it quickly turns into a coughing fit, directly onto pt through the bars. he takes a moment to stop before he responds*
IB YOU'RE GODDA BE SO BEAN ABOUD ID, DEN I'B NOD GODDA HELB AD ALL!
. . .
[His eye twitches and he glows red as he glares.]
... YOU'RE GONNA GED ME SIGG. >:( I DON'D WANNA DAKE MORE MEDICINE!!!
. . .
[CURSE WORD]!!!!!!!
*bill laughs, floating back a little*
DAT'S WHAD YOU GED FOR BEIG RUDE DO BE, GIDDO! SUBBER!
... grrrrrrrrrRRRRRRRRrr...
[He begins shouting every profanity he knows, which is an astonishingly large list. Thanks neighbor Larry! Occasionally he stops to sneeze or cough but it goes on for several VERY LOUD minutes.]
*unfortunately, the screaming and yelling attracts the attention of a nearby nurse, who takes one look at the lethargic, sniffling, slightly green-tinted triangle in front of the cage and goes rushing off to find someone to help capture him. bill is none the wiser, laughing hysterically at the situation*
[He notices and decides to pipe down immediately in the hopes they won't notice his own illness.]
*bill doesnt notice and keeps laughing. the nurse comes back with two other nurses and a small syringe. before he even realizes theyre there, they lunge at him and stab the needle into his leg. unfortunately for him, its the strong stuff, and it takes affect almost immediately. he glares, first at the humans, then at pt, then slumps unceremoniously to the ground with a wet squelch*
WHAD ARE YOU DOIG ID HERE, GID? DESE GUYS ARE SO BUCH WEAGER DAN YOU! SEE, DEY CAN'D EBEN SDOB BE FROB BEIG HERE!
-@perpetually-sick-billcipher
OHH, THAT'S GREAT FOR YOU! IF I KNEW A WAY OUT OF HERE, I WOULD HAVE DONE IT ALREADY!!!
... I just wanna go home now... and these JERKS LOCKED ME IN HERE!!! THEY'RE DOCTORS!!! WITH MEDICINE!!! I HATE IT HERE!!! that... that... THAT LIAR BROUGHT ME HERE!!! >:( HE SAID THEY WEREN'T DOCTORS AND THEY ARE AND THEY WON'T LET ME OUUUT!!! LET ME OUT OF HERE!!! GET ME OUT!!!
*bill sneezes on the bars, sniffs aggressively, then laughs*
WELL, AI'D DAT A SHABE! I'D HELB, BUD I DO'D WADDA SDIG AROUD WHED DOGTORS ARE IDBOLBED. IB DEY GED A HOLD OB BE, DEY'LL-
*he stops to sneeze again*
ID DOED'D MADDER. I'B NOD SDIGIG AROUD MUCH LOGER!
grrrrr...
YOU'RE GETTING YOUR SNOT ALL OVER THE CAGE! THEY'RE GONNA THINK IT'S MINE OR SOMETHING! >:( UGH, THAT BETTER NOT GET ME SICK TOO! I DON'T WANT TO GET STUCK HERE LONGER OR TAKE MORE MEDICINE. JUST- JUST OPEN THE DOOR OF THIS BOX SO I CAN RUN OR SOMETHING?!
HM...
*bill turns upsidedown, floating closer to the cage, before flipping rightsideup and laughing*
NAH. I DO'D DINK I WILL! YOU SEEB DO BE DOIG JUSD FIDE IN DERE!
*he coughs, not even bothering to cover his eye-mouth*
BESIDES, I DO'D WADDA BE HELD RESBOSIBLE IB YOU DECIDE TO FOLLOW BE! I'B NO BABYSIDDER!
... I'M NOT GOING TO FOLLOW YOU, YOU [CURSE WORD]ING JERK!!! JUST LET ME OUT OF HERE!!! THAT'S ALL I'M ASKING! SIMPLE, RIGHT?! LET ME OUT!!! AND QUIT COUGHING AND SNEEZING ON ME!!!
*bill laughs, but it quickly turns into a coughing fit, directly onto pt through the bars. he takes a moment to stop before he responds*
IB YOU'RE GODDA BE SO BEAN ABOUD ID, DEN I'B NOD GODDA HELB AD ALL!
. . .
[His eye twitches and he glows red as he glares.]
... YOU'RE GONNA GED ME SIGG. >:( I DON'D WANNA DAKE MORE MEDICINE!!!
. . .
[CURSE WORD]!!!!!!!
*bill laughs, floating back a little*
DAT'S WHAD YOU GED FOR BEIG RUDE DO BE, GIDDO! SUBBER!
... grrrrrrrrrRRRRRRRRrr...
[He begins shouting every profanity he knows, which is an astonishingly large list. Thanks neighbor Larry! Occasionally he stops to sneeze or cough but it goes on for several VERY LOUD minutes.]
*unfortunately, the screaming and yelling attracts the attention of a nearby nurse, who takes one look at the lethargic, sniffling, slightly green-tinted triangle in front of the cage and goes rushing off to find someone to help capture him. bill is none the wiser, laughing hysterically at the situation*
WHAD ARE YOU DOIG ID HERE, GID? DESE GUYS ARE SO BUCH WEAGER DAN YOU! SEE, DEY CAN'D EBEN SDOB BE FROB BEIG HERE!
-@perpetually-sick-billcipher
OHH, THAT'S GREAT FOR YOU! IF I KNEW A WAY OUT OF HERE, I WOULD HAVE DONE IT ALREADY!!!
... I just wanna go home now... and these JERKS LOCKED ME IN HERE!!! THEY'RE DOCTORS!!! WITH MEDICINE!!! I HATE IT HERE!!! that... that... THAT LIAR BROUGHT ME HERE!!! >:( HE SAID THEY WEREN'T DOCTORS AND THEY ARE AND THEY WON'T LET ME OUUUT!!! LET ME OUT OF HERE!!! GET ME OUT!!!
*bill sneezes on the bars, sniffs aggressively, then laughs*
WELL, AI'D DAT A SHABE! I'D HELB, BUD I DO'D WADDA SDIG AROUD WHED DOGTORS ARE IDBOLBED. IB DEY GED A HOLD OB BE, DEY'LL-
*he stops to sneeze again*
ID DOED'D MADDER. I'B NOD SDIGIG AROUD MUCH LOGER!
grrrrr...
YOU'RE GETTING YOUR SNOT ALL OVER THE CAGE! THEY'RE GONNA THINK IT'S MINE OR SOMETHING! >:( UGH, THAT BETTER NOT GET ME SICK TOO! I DON'T WANT TO GET STUCK HERE LONGER OR TAKE MORE MEDICINE. JUST- JUST OPEN THE DOOR OF THIS BOX SO I CAN RUN OR SOMETHING?!
HM...
*bill turns upsidedown, floating closer to the cage, before flipping rightsideup and laughing*
NAH. I DO'D DINK I WILL! YOU SEEB DO BE DOIG JUSD FIDE IN DERE!
*he coughs, not even bothering to cover his eye-mouth*
BESIDES, I DO'D WADDA BE HELD RESBOSIBLE IB YOU DECIDE TO FOLLOW BE! I'B NO BABYSIDDER!
... I'M NOT GOING TO FOLLOW YOU, YOU [CURSE WORD]ING JERK!!! JUST LET ME OUT OF HERE!!! THAT'S ALL I'M ASKING! SIMPLE, RIGHT?! LET ME OUT!!! AND QUIT COUGHING AND SNEEZING ON ME!!!
*bill laughs, but it quickly turns into a coughing fit, directly onto pt through the bars. he takes a moment to stop before he responds*
IB YOU'RE GODDA BE SO BEAN ABOUD ID, DEN I'B NOD GODDA HELB AD ALL!
. . .
[His eye twitches and he glows red as he glares.]
... YOU'RE GONNA GED ME SIGG. >:( I DON'D WANNA DAKE MORE MEDICINE!!!
. . .
[CURSE WORD]!!!!!!!
*bill laughs, floating back a little*
DAT'S WHAD YOU GED FOR BEIG RUDE DO BE, GIDDO! SUBBER!

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WHAD ARE YOU DOIG ID HERE, GID? DESE GUYS ARE SO BUCH WEAGER DAN YOU! SEE, DEY CAN'D EBEN SDOB BE FROB BEIG HERE!
-@perpetually-sick-billcipher
OHH, THAT'S GREAT FOR YOU! IF I KNEW A WAY OUT OF HERE, I WOULD HAVE DONE IT ALREADY!!!
... I just wanna go home now... and these JERKS LOCKED ME IN HERE!!! THEY'RE DOCTORS!!! WITH MEDICINE!!! I HATE IT HERE!!! that... that... THAT LIAR BROUGHT ME HERE!!! >:( HE SAID THEY WEREN'T DOCTORS AND THEY ARE AND THEY WON'T LET ME OUUUT!!! LET ME OUT OF HERE!!! GET ME OUT!!!
*bill sneezes on the bars, sniffs aggressively, then laughs*
WELL, AI'D DAT A SHABE! I'D HELB, BUD I DO'D WADDA SDIG AROUD WHED DOGTORS ARE IDBOLBED. IB DEY GED A HOLD OB BE, DEY'LL-
*he stops to sneeze again*
ID DOED'D MADDER. I'B NOD SDIGIG AROUD MUCH LOGER!
grrrrr...
YOU'RE GETTING YOUR SNOT ALL OVER THE CAGE! THEY'RE GONNA THINK IT'S MINE OR SOMETHING! >:( UGH, THAT BETTER NOT GET ME SICK TOO! I DON'T WANT TO GET STUCK HERE LONGER OR TAKE MORE MEDICINE. JUST- JUST OPEN THE DOOR OF THIS BOX SO I CAN RUN OR SOMETHING?!
HM...
*bill turns upsidedown, floating closer to the cage, before flipping rightsideup and laughing*
NAH. I DO'D DINK I WILL! YOU SEEB DO BE DOIG JUSD FIDE IN DERE!
*he coughs, not even bothering to cover his eye-mouth*
BESIDES, I DO'D WADDA BE HELD RESBOSIBLE IB YOU DECIDE TO FOLLOW BE! I'B NO BABYSIDDER!
... I'M NOT GOING TO FOLLOW YOU, YOU [CURSE WORD]ING JERK!!! JUST LET ME OUT OF HERE!!! THAT'S ALL I'M ASKING! SIMPLE, RIGHT?! LET ME OUT!!! AND QUIT COUGHING AND SNEEZING ON ME!!!
*bill laughs, but it quickly turns into a coughing fit, directly onto pt through the bars. he takes a moment to stop before he responds*
IB YOU'RE GODDA BE SO BEAN ABOUD ID, DEN I'B NOD GODDA HELB AD ALL!
WHAD ARE YOU DOIG ID HERE, GID? DESE GUYS ARE SO BUCH WEAGER DAN YOU! SEE, DEY CAN'D EBEN SDOB BE FROB BEIG HERE!
-@perpetually-sick-billcipher
OHH, THAT'S GREAT FOR YOU! IF I KNEW A WAY OUT OF HERE, I WOULD HAVE DONE IT ALREADY!!!
... I just wanna go home now... and these JERKS LOCKED ME IN HERE!!! THEY'RE DOCTORS!!! WITH MEDICINE!!! I HATE IT HERE!!! that... that... THAT LIAR BROUGHT ME HERE!!! >:( HE SAID THEY WEREN'T DOCTORS AND THEY ARE AND THEY WON'T LET ME OUUUT!!! LET ME OUT OF HERE!!! GET ME OUT!!!
*bill sneezes on the bars, sniffs aggressively, then laughs*
WELL, AI'D DAT A SHABE! I'D HELB, BUD I DO'D WADDA SDIG AROUD WHED DOGTORS ARE IDBOLBED. IB DEY GED A HOLD OB BE, DEY'LL-
*he stops to sneeze again*
ID DOED'D MADDER. I'B NOD SDIGIG AROUD MUCH LOGER!
grrrrr...
YOU'RE GETTING YOUR SNOT ALL OVER THE CAGE! THEY'RE GONNA THINK IT'S MINE OR SOMETHING! >:( UGH, THAT BETTER NOT GET ME SICK TOO! I DON'T WANT TO GET STUCK HERE LONGER OR TAKE MORE MEDICINE. JUST- JUST OPEN THE DOOR OF THIS BOX SO I CAN RUN OR SOMETHING?!
HM...
*bill turns upsidedown, floating closer to the cage, before flipping rightsideup and laughing*
NAH. I DO'D DINK I WILL! YOU SEEB DO BE DOIG JUSD FIDE IN DERE!
*he coughs, not even bothering to cover his eye-mouth*
BESIDES, I DO'D WADDA BE HELD RESBOSIBLE IB YOU DECIDE TO FOLLOW BE! I'B NO BABYSIDDER!
WHAD ARE YOU DOIG ID HERE, GID? DESE GUYS ARE SO BUCH WEAGER DAN YOU! SEE, DEY CAN'D EBEN SDOB BE FROB BEIG HERE!
-@perpetually-sick-billcipher
OHH, THAT'S GREAT FOR YOU! IF I KNEW A WAY OUT OF HERE, I WOULD HAVE DONE IT ALREADY!!!
... I just wanna go home now... and these JERKS LOCKED ME IN HERE!!! THEY'RE DOCTORS!!! WITH MEDICINE!!! I HATE IT HERE!!! that... that... THAT LIAR BROUGHT ME HERE!!! >:( HE SAID THEY WEREN'T DOCTORS AND THEY ARE AND THEY WON'T LET ME OUUUT!!! LET ME OUT OF HERE!!! GET ME OUT!!!
*bill sneezes on the bars, sniffs aggressively, then laughs*
WELL, AI'D DAT A SHABE! I'D HELB, BUD I DO'D WADDA SDIG AROUD WHED DOGTORS ARE IDBOLBED. IB DEY GED A HOLD OB BE, DEY'LL-
*he stops to sneeze again*
ID DOED'D MADDER. I'B NOD SDIGIG AROUD MUCH LOGER!
HEY DERE, SIGSER! FUNNY SEEIG YOU HERE! WHAD A COI-
*he sneezes all over ford before he can finish his sentence*
-@perpetually-sick-billcipher
That is…disgusting.
[Ford hands over a medical mask]
Put it over your…eye? I suppose.
*he puts it on, hovering in silence for a moment. then he sneezes, and the mask transforms into a full-sized blanket and falls to the floor, covered in snot*
NOD SURE DAT MASG IS GODDA DO BUCH, SIGSER.
Well that…didn’t work the way I expected it. I don’t suppose you could just shift it back?
I GOULD, BUD ID'D JUSD HABBEN AGAIN, SO WHAD'S DA BOINT? BESIDES, I LIGE SEEIG YOU SGUIRM WHED I SDEEZE ON YOU!
…….
Alright. That’s enough out of you. If you don’t want my help, get lost.
WHY WOULD I WHED I'B HABIG SO BUCH FUN BODERIG YOU ISDEAD? UDLESS YOU WAND BE DO GED BORE BES SICK! I'D BE GLAD DO DO DAT! BAYBE I'LL EBEN SED DEM YOUR WAY AVTER!
HEY DERE, SIGSER! FUNNY SEEIG YOU HERE! WHAD A COI-
*he sneezes all over ford before he can finish his sentence*
-@perpetually-sick-billcipher
That is…disgusting.
[Ford hands over a medical mask]
Put it over your…eye? I suppose.
*he puts it on, hovering in silence for a moment. then he sneezes, and the mask transforms into a full-sized blanket and falls to the floor, covered in snot*
NOD SURE DAT MASG IS GODDA DO BUCH, SIGSER.
Well that…didn’t work the way I expected it. I don’t suppose you could just shift it back?
I GOULD, BUD ID'D JUSD HABBEN AGAIN, SO WHAD'S DA BOINT? BESIDES, I LIGE SEEIG YOU SGUIRM WHED I SDEEZE ON YOU!

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UGH, I CAN'D BELIEBE YOU'RE SO BOBULAR! I'M GLEARLY DA BEDDER ONE! EBEN DOUGH I'B SICK, I'B SDILL BEDDER!
(translation: UGH, I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU'RE SO POPULAR! I'M CLEARLY THE BETTER ONE! EVEN THOUGH I'M SICK, I'M STILL BETTER!)
-@perpetually-sick-billcipher
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY OF YOU. NORMAL BILL, SAD BILL, DRUNK BILL, NOW SICK BILL!?
WHERES MY BILL! WHERES A BILL THAT LIKES ME :(
*bill sneezes on steve, then laughs*
BAYBE ID'S BECAUSE WE'RE JUSD BEDDER! DO'D WORRY, DOUGH! I'B SURE DERE'S AD LEASD ONE PATHEDIC, IDIODIG BILL OUD DERE WHO'S SDUBID EDOUGH DO LIGE YOU! DOO BAD YOU'LL BROBABLY NEBER FID HIM!
THERES ONE THAT LIKES ME BUT HES NOT VERY BILL-LIKE. HES AN HONARARY STEVE, TOO!
*Steve's tie wipes the sneeze off him, and looks unsettlingly simmilar to a tongue licking somthing off.*
OH, DAT GUY? HE'S WEIRD. SURBRISED HE'S EBEN A BILL IN DA BURSD BLACE! I'B NOD SURBRISED DAT WEIRDO LIGES YOU, DOUGH!
THANK YOU! :)
...SURE DIG, BUDDY.
*with an awkward cough and a small sneeze, bill disappears*
achoo
ATCHOO-