Miss Sugar Honey Iced Tea 🍯

When you have a baby, you’re very much the center of that baby’s world. They’re completely dependent on you.

But once the kids get older and start being more opinionated and having more complicated feelings, and don’t just idolize their parents, and maybe start to realize their parents are flawed human beings just like every other human who’s ever existed, and you can’t just stuff them in a foofy dress or whatever to make them Be Cute on command, there’s a certain kind of parent who feels very offended and threatened by that.

It’s like when your kitten or puppy grows up to be an adult cat or dog, and they’re not “cute” anymore.

It’s not inherently awful to prefer the parenting experience at a certain age, but if you deconstruct the reason behind that preference, a lot of the times it’s exactly the reasons listed above: the child is not an individual yet, but a living prop that can be commanded, modeled, molded. Ideas about consent, privacy, boundaries, even individual identity haven’t really surfaced yet. The child is nothing but potential and has not yet lived long enough to disappoint. 

When I was growing up, something my mom told me always stuck with me. When I was somewhere around 14 or 15, on my birthday I asked if she regretted that I was getting older (because I’d heard my friends’ parents say things like that on their birthdays). She immediately said, “No. I mean, of course we’ve always loved you and your brother, and sure you were cute when you were babies, but truthfully every year older you get is so exciting because you’re becoming your own interesting person with your own ideas and thoughts and opinions, and honestly that’s way more fun.” My parents LIKED the fact that we were becoming our own individuals with our own identities. They did NOT prefer us as adorable drooling props they could dress up and show off; they preferred us as people. 

I’m insanely lucky in that regard, I think. And it’s probably telling that even though I’m 36, I still feel like I can go to my parents for help, advice, or comfort, because they didn’t do this kind of invasive shit, which would have left me feeling like they violated my trust and autonomy, and would’ve made me want to get the hell away from them the second I turned 18.

Yes, it’s true that, amongst themselves, adult housecats generally only vocalise to communicate with kittens, but the particular set of vocalisations that adult cats use to communicate with humans is distinct from, and largely non-overlapping with, the set of vocalisations that they use to communicate with kittens.

Your average adult housecat has anywhere from twenty to fifty distinct vocalisations that are basically only used to communicate with humans.

The most beautiful thing you can wear is confidence.

not every food has to be healthy

not every food has to be delicious

not every food will be a complicated amazing superfood combo

sometime a food is fuel for your body and that’s enough

sometimes a food tastes good and makes you happy and that’s enough

sometimes you’ll eat ten oreos in one sitting and that’s okay

sometimes you’ll force yourself to choke down a meal replacement to nourish your being and that’s okay