Perl Turing

Now they were finally getting somewhere.  

Avi forgot the food and drink and the entire restaurant, his huge black eyes like laser beams focused on Perl’s pale soft face.  Drinking in every word she said like it was sweet delectable eel blood. 

“Second hand?” Avi said quickly, his high-keyed mind recalling that ‘second hand’ wasn’t the same as ‘on the other hand’.  For Landfolk it meant indirectly, from a friend of a friend.  He demanded then, “From who?  What’s their name?  I’d like to speak to them.”

Avi made a dissatisfied noise, losing his appetite completely as he sat back.  “Taken somewhere else,  That’s…well that could mean anything.  Think, Perl.  Think about Tommy.  If he was taken by someone ‘scary’ then why hasn’t anyone gone to find him and collect him?”  And as if turning the very question he’d asked himself many times over, he spat at Perl,  “Why didn’t you try to find him?”

“Her name was, Eliza something, Penny, fuck I don’t know. She skipped town for some reason. Avoiding debtors, jailtime or an awkward ex. I have a business card if you need it but I’m not sure she’s going to be of much help.” Perl was petulant. Glaring at Avi, who was he to get mad at her. To be snappy. He wasn’t even here when Tommy disappeared. 

“It literally does mean anything! I don’t know if you lived in a lot of supernatural places but crazy shit happens.” The nymph was rustling up, her nerves and her outfit rustled. She sat on the edge of her seat, all motions that the selkie may recognize in sea creatures trying to puff up to seem scarier. To Perl she was just annoyed at him and on edge, she felt she was being accused of something. “There’s a bunch of power gathered together, centered in one place weird things happen unexpectedly.” 

Ash chuckled. “Would it be lame to make a ‘that’s what she said’ joke?” Definitely, since he’d had to ask if it was lame. He cleared his throat, shaking his head. He listened to her, non-judgemental, just interested in getting to know her. “Yeah? Nothing wrong with that. I’m not a big date guy myself. I usually just make friends with everyone and if they wanna hook up, it’s a nice surprise.” He didn’t usually assume anyone was into him, and he didn’t approach people with the goal of hooking up with them either. He just let instinct steer the way.

Talking about fashion was easy enough for him. He wouldn’t exactly say he was an expert on it. He just liked what he liked, and didn’t shy away from designer labels or flouting conventions and gender stereotypes. “Neon, huh? I’m more a dark colors person, but a hint of color can brighten up an outfit.” Viktor and Rolf rang a bell, and he tapped his finger against the table while he thought about it. “Oh! They’re the ones that are like shaped into words or beds or picture frames and stuff? Super out there. I love it for the runway, but I wouldn’t wear it out and about. I’m a big believer in everyone doing what makes 'em comfortable though, so long as it ain’t hurting anyone.”

“Pfff no!” Perl chuckle-snorted in delight. “I cannot believe I missed the sex joke there. I feel like a sham, but you were right there.” She winked, and frowned again because of the darkness. Eventually the nymph would catch one but this was getting old for Perl far before then. “Oh em gee, here in Soapberry there are enough complete beefcakes, hotties, thotties, and miscellanea to incite the libido it’s hard not to want to keep an open door policy for most acquaintances.” She reached forward looking with her hands for a drink to sip, even water. “Except for Steve at the outdoor mall on the south side of town, fuck him, but not literally.” Perl still held a grudge that simmered barely beneath the surface.

TXT: We shall put a pin in the escape room idea for the future. I’m certain they’ll have at least one attuned to nymph powers – and if it comes down to it, we can always attempt it sans nymph abilities.

TXT: Anathema, I know, but if it’s for our own amusement I’m sure we’ll get by.

TXT: I’m partial to going to the open houses, that’s a tremendous idea! We can decide what function each of the rooms should fulfill. And critique the comestibles.

[TXT] Honestly we are the best when we amuse ourselves, we are the best at it an our best selves when we do it. We would rock that.

[TXT] Yaaaaas. Omg I’ll link you the open houses on the weekend and we can make a route.

Once Ruby got her sneezing fit under control, she apologized to Perl and leaned into hear what the nymph had to say. When Perl opened up the bag, Ruby frowned slightly before peering at what was inside. They looked like pieces of clear plastic, though there was a slight smell of something that might have been magic. But it smelled a bit stale. Old and unused. Ruby glanced up at Perl as she started to explain what they were, and a look of understanding passed over her face. 

“And the department confiscated them.” Ruby figured that much was true, considering where they’d been. She glanced back over her shoulder, seeing that there was no one else around before looking back at Perl. “And since you obviously know your tech, this must’ve been a special project that they gave to you? To make ‘em safe or… dispose of?” Ruby honestly didn’t care what Perl was doing with the little magic phone pegs. As long as no one got their identity stolen or got their head blown off. Besides, they should’ve been destroyed before now if they were that big a problem. It wasn’t her fault if they went missing. 

“Got it in one.” Perl replied cheerily. Her mood much improved now that she was so close to walking out with her prize. She smiled wide, biting her bottom lip and waggling her eyebrows.

“Oh these things are a much bigger deal than what the run of the mill police can deal with. Of course now all these little power punch pegs are basically useless cause all the new phones don’t even have earphone jacks.” She sighed, despite her alliance with the police and all their sexy employees it was a bit disappointing that all that mayhem had stopped due to old tech’s obsolescence. “So now I just got to use them up on my own I guess.” She froze and grit her teeth.

Ash wasn’t the sort of person to be unsettled very easily. He was a roll-with-the-punches kind of person, and also a talk-your-way-out-of-punches kind of person. It was tough for anyone to be mad with Ash, and it was tough for Ash to be mad or upset about anything or anyone. Still, the situation was a little weird, even by Ash’s standards. He was projecting as much confidence as he could, but also trying not to be weird or obnoxious. It was more difficult to make a connection with someone when you couldn’t look at them or read their body language. He couldn’t even taste their species on the air.

“We can go slower if you want. I don’t date much, blind or otherwise, so I ain’t really sure if I’m doing it right. Kinda just flying by the seat of my pants here.” He gave a small chuckle. “Oh, avante-garde fashion? I love it. I kinda just wear the kinda clothes I like, but it can be pretty eclectric. What kind of fashion are you interested in? Any particular period or style?”

“Oh! We can go fast if you want, or any speed. I’m just excited to try something new.” Perl suppressed and urge to crackle. It was a nervous tick she had since she was a very young nymph, but that light of energy in the air would have given off too much light. Ruining everyone's evening and spoiling any surprise about her. So she settled on flexing her fingers instead. “It’s brand new for me, normally I skip to the hook up. But I hear talking’s what you do before then so you’re not doing anything wrong.” She paused and scrunched up her face in the darkness as she wondered if that was the right thing to say.

“And now he’s gone,”  Avi replied evenly, although truth be told he wasn’t expecting Perl’s vehement confirmation.  It surprised him, and he wasn’t sure yet if that surprise was in a good way or not.  Perhaps it was better that someone remembered Tommy, ill-suited as he was to being Sheriff, to not remembering him at all.  

And then the nymph was so honest with her feelings towards him, that Avi didn’t have the heart to tell her that he didn’t quite feel the same way.  He was connected to her, through Tommy. Through establishing a familiarity and rapport between them. Whether or not he liked her was a different story.  

Still, he warmly agreed,  “Good, the feeling is mutual.”  It wasn’t exactly true, but it hardly mattered to Avi.  He was only in this town to locate his brother, or put his spirit to the sea.

“Right, of course.  He didn’t get much of a chance, no.  Either as a selkie or as a human.  So…what did happen to him?  How did he disappear?  Can you recall that?”  Avi shrugged.  “Perhaps I’d like to get him back.  This town has kept him long enough, he needs to return to his pod, and to the sea.”

“Yeah. Just gone.” She sighed, lips pouting.

Perl liked to think she wasn’t that deep. Why her confidence in her own shallowness was a comfort to the nymph was anyone’s guess but her own. It didn’t mean she lacked feelings. If anything they came too easy to her. After a few beers and titillating conversations she was happy to call a person her best friend, collecting bff’s at a whim. 

She just assumed these quick connections and spurious relationships were typical for everyone. So Avi’s attentions, shallow as they were without any real feeling behind them, struck Perl as sincere.

[TXT] Oh totally. But they also had that summer special where they sold fried chips of “that feeling when you bury your feet into warm sand” and they were doing something with holiday nostalgia.

[TXT] Oooh, nice. You know I always heard there was money in banana stands.

[TXT] Awwww Teddy Dearest you flatter me and you know I love to be flattered. Plus gluten is like my fav bonding agent. 

[TXT] We should go and plan something fun. Besides getting me laid.

TXT: That sounds far more diverting than the usual fare of deep-fried Mars bars. I should very much like to try such intriguing sand witch chips.

TXT: I’ve been feeling rather stagnant of late. Perhaps we should go somewhere broadly public? 

[TXT] I was thinking, maybe escape room. But with us that’d be too easy and really being locked up is hardly public.

Avi leaned his elbows on the table, and rested his chin in against one hand, listening with grim intent at Perl finally started to open up about Tommy.  There was an intense rush of relief in Avi, but the more he listened the more his ongoing frustration grew. 

“He should never have been a Sheriff of this place.  He told our pod family that he was doing fine.  That the job was great and everything was manageable.  So he lied, then,”  Avi concluded, but not in a way that he was disappointed in his brother.  In a way where it seemed to confirm what Avi already suspected.  

“Kind to people like you.  Yes, well…”  Avi was about to say that Tommy was always kind to what he liked to call ‘underdogs’.  Tommy loved the landfolk idea of an ‘underdog’.  And perhaps, in Avi’s opinion, emulated it.  To Avi, it meant Tommy rooted for losers.  But he didn’t say that to Perl, and just smiled instead. “I’ve been fairly kind to you as well, haven’t I.  Not exactly in the same way as Tommy was, I suppose.”

The caviar came, and Avi started to eat, hungry at the sight of all those beautiful little baubles.  “Yes.  His family urged him constantly to do something less dangerous and…selfless.”  Avi chose the word to match how Perl seemed to see Tommy.  “And in the end, he sacrificed himself for this town, and no one remembers or cares.”

“Yeah!” Perl vehemently agreed. “He should have never been sheriff. It was too rough a job and no one cared enough about him, like they should have.” Perl felt a pang. An unfamiliar jab of guilt, maybe from agreeing to quickly with Tommy’s older brother that he was ill suited to the job he seemed to love; maybe for the first time she thought she was lacking in some regard, she was part of the populace that should have cared more about Tommy.

She poked a spook at the caviar on their table. Perl had missed seeing the waiter in her musings but she didn’t really want to think or dwell enough to make sense of things. She smiled back at Avi.

“Oh sweet cheeks you’ve been all kinds of kind to me, and I like your way of doing it. You don’t have to remind me to gain points. I like you plenty.” She teased, a jab of a sentence and a flirty wink to soften the words. 

She dropped the spoon of caviar without eating it. Making a face.

Ash wondered if everyone was as lost in the dark as he was. Vampires and werewolves, they had that whole enhanced senses thing, but knowing Bellamy, she had probably thought of that. The girl thought of everything. Any chance to show off. It was one of the things he loved about her. She was even more over the top and extravagant than he was. He followed the path through the darkness to the booth in which he was to meet his blind date, not quite apprehensive, but not quite confident either. He lived in the place in between, a strange average kind of feeling that someone as intense as Ash wasn’t usually familiar with.

TXT: Fried butter and such? Fried Coca-Cola?

TXT: I can’t imagine the logistics of that. Does it core the banana out first? I did have a chocolate-covered banana once, it was very agreeable. I purchased it from a bored young lady at a banana stand shaped like a banana.

TXT: I’ve been busy with work, work, and also work. It seems that without my favourite nymph child to leaven my days, I tend to become lumpen and dull.

TXT: Rather like bad gluten-free bread.

[TXT] Oh totally. But they also had that summer special where they sold fried chips of “that feeling when you bury your feet into warm sand” and they were doing something with holiday nostalgia.

[TXT] Oooh, nice. You know I always heard there was money in banana stands.

[TXT] Awwww Teddy Dearest you flatter me and you know I love to be flattered. Plus gluten is like my fav bonding agent. 

“Okay, chicken it is then.” Surely Rein would’ve done something that would’ve been only vegetables if Perl would’ve mentioned about it. But since she seemed to be fine with chicken Rein was going to go with that. 

“Traveling isn’t for everyone”, he mused as he put the things he need from the fridge to the counter and then moved to get all the other things he needed – spices and whatnot – from the cabinets. “But if you ever feel like heading somewhere, you should just do it.”

“Hmmmmm.” Perl took in her fellow nymph’s advice and nodded. Saying no word on weather she’d travel or not, and in truth not really bothering to think about it. She leaned to the side so she mostly just slumped over Rein’s counter now. Her cheek smoshing comfortably on the smooth top as she watched Rein cook. She’d never be so without affect except with another nymph.

Ruby took a step back as the smell of dust and things that had been locked up for far too long wafted out of the room. She sneezed three times in rapid succession before finally getting ahold of herself. By the time she had, Perl was already inside and seemed to know exactly where she was going. Ruby felt the hum of the power surge as the room grew brighter, and peeped her head in to have a look around. God, it was a mess. No wonder it had been locked up. 

She saw Perl fiddling with one of the lockers, but honestly didn’t think too much about it. She’d probably left something inside before she’d taken her… trip. Though admittedly, when she heard the nymphs exclamation of having found what she was looking for (Ruby assumed), followed by the claim that it wasn’t interesting, Ruby was suddenly quite curious. 

“Nothin’ interestin’ at all?” she asked, leaning against the wall outside the room, a grin sliding up one side of face. “You don’t seem like the kinda gal that would come all the way down here for somethin’ boring.” Perl didn’t have to tell her of course, being that it was her stuff and not Ruby’s. But Ruby would be lying if she said that a part of her didn’t want to know. 

Perl jumped near out of her skin when she heard the sneezes. Then cursed to herself. She was so close to playing it cool this entire time and not acting like a total skeevy noob who never once snuck confiscated good out of a police department. In the final hour it had to be her nerves at a silly sneeze that got to her.

She turned, puffing her cheeks out as she sighed. It only took a second for the nymph to eye up Ruby for the second time and make her decision.

“Okay, okay so it’s not boring. Not really, not totally.” She took a step toward ruby and pulled out the bag. It was tightly packed and full of what looked like tiny clear peg. Some of the pegs had a odd light blue glow that was barely perceptible now that the light had been turned on. She took a breath and launched into a quickly paced explanation.

“So a while back some techno-witch was selling these shitty things that you’d plug into your phone- like through the earphone jack like one of those old charm things people would buy for phones. But they weren’t just plugs. They were supposed to jailbreak a phone for you with all the magic stuffed inside. So you could use it without any phone plan, do crazy magic shit you wouldn’t be able to do on a non ensorceled phone.” She took another breath, bouncing the bag in her hand. “Only real problem was it made it easy for thieves to steal and use phones, oh and a couple of the phones would straight up explode.”

Bringing Perl to Erzebet’s was like bringing a sea urchin to a clownfish party.  She looked even more unnatural than she seemed before, and especially because she was so rumpled and in Avi’s opinion, sexed-out.  But he was bemused more than annoyed by this, watching her braying loudly and clinging to her hand even tighter.  Ignoring the irritating little static sparks she gave off in response, because he was afraid that if he let her go, then she’d just run off somewhere and he’d have to hunt for her.

Which, now that Avi thought about it, wasn’t such a bad idea.  He always did love a good hunt.

Instinct still made him perk up at the mention of caviar though, and he calmly smiled at the hostess as she took them to a table.  Not the best, but Avi didn’t really care.  It seemed the hostess recognized Perl, so clearly she knew what to expect from the nymph.

“Just an appetizer of caviar,” Avi said, and he would’ve asked for multiple bowls, but he didn’t know how expensive it was.  Also..was he trying to impress Perl?  Fucking her and paying for her and blithely ordering caviar?  Perhaps, but Avi reassured himself it was for a reason.  Butter her up like he would a toast point for caviar, and then bite hard. 

“I’ll also have a selkie beer,” Avi said (selkie-brews were more saline) and let Perl order a drink for herself.  Once the hostess informed their waitress and Avi and Perl were alone, Avi didn’t hesitate to keep talking.  “So you knew Tommy when he was the Sheriff? What was it like?”

“One bottle for the table, whatever vintage you have that’s currently legal or whatever. A good caviar chaser.” She’d let the bar figure out the specifics.

Perl grinned back at Avi. She was planning on footing the check this time, but wasn’t planning on letting the selkie know that. It was best to let him sweat a little bit before she swooped in with her impressive independent sugar mama funds. Ill-gotten mostly, even with the cyrpto burst she wasn’t  hurting for credit.

“Hmmm?” She quirked her head to the side. Settling into their table. It was one of the ones closer to the kitchen. Where the noise and activity of the chefs hard at work would mostly drown out the rambunctious nymph and other customers would pay no mind. Perl hardly noticed how well the staff had learned to deal with her specific eccentricities.

“Yeah I knew Tommy as the Sheriff. He was...” She bit her bottom lip. Angry that the caviar had not yet arrived so she couldn’t chew on something else and buy herself some time to get the right words. “He was, scared a lot I think. It was a big job and he did it, even when he looked overwhelmed, or anxious and scared. But he was always good about it, and kind to people like me who had our own stuff.” She pulled a face. Finding it harder to remember those brief moments with her friend. There was an ache in her chest. It was of no comfort to the nymph that the ache was easily recognizable-- the sadness of loss.

“Ah, so I thought it right.” Rein could start a talk of how eating only peas and spaghetti wasn’t truly that healthy. But probably Perl knew it and well, she could eat pretty much whatever she wanted. She was an adult after all.

“I hadn’t really planned out what to cook today, but Panamanian is always one on the list of possible foods.” Rein eyed at the things in his fridge trying to decide what exactly to cook. “Is chicken fine?” he asked looking at Perl. “Well, Panama is.. Panama. Sort of tropic with sea and sand and whatnot. The weather surely is way warmer than in here. But even though I came to be in Panama I have been way more of my life traveling than living in Panama.”

“Yeah I can do chicken.” Perl shrugged. Perl was mostly accidentally vegetarian. As her normal diet of sweets and processed foods didn’t ever really include meat, or any kind of protein. It was a wonder she had enough nutrients to walk around. If she wasn’t a nymph it would be a large problem. 

TXT: Oh dear. I hope this was at one of the smaller insignificant shopping centres and not the Mall of Unmerica. I know that one has the caramelized cookie and honeydew stand that you’re fond of.

TXT: There was one that claimed it would rotisserie chickens as well as dehydrate fruit. And then it showed a glutinous barrage of mashed potato cascading from its innards. I was transfixed.

TXT: You have every right to pout. They should not begrudge you simply because you’re not a child.

TXT: Not physically.

TXT: And not in line.

[TXT] Totally insignificant. My honeydew treats are safe for another day. But I did really like a stall they had that did interesting things with the frying medium.

[TXT] Yesss. I’m getting them now. Ooooh there’s also this thing that inserts chocolate into bananas? Expect that too.

[TXT] Exactly!

[TXT] Yes, thank you.

“Marsmallow fluff risotto”, Rein repeated, not because he thought it would be impossible to make or that it would be a horrible idea, it was more like him thinking would he be able to make such. “I don’t have marshmallows right now tho”, he said after a moment, “So we might need to make that some other day.”

When he noticed Perl just sitting down, he looked slightly amused, but he didn’t say a word. Rein was so used to cooking alone and he didn’t really expect her to help him in the first place. “Spaghetti bowl of peas? Like just boiled spaghetti with some peas in it?” Rein certainly hadn’t made that either and he wasn’t sure was there some actual recipe for such or was it something Perl came up with on the second. “Panamanian food is the food from Panama. Where I appeared in. Sort of a mix of African, Spanish, and Native American cuisine. I think you’ve tasted it before when you’ve come for a visit.”

“You boil the peas and the spaghetti together.” Perl answered with a nod. All facts and delving nothing into the terribly squishy mushy texture because the nymph would always cook both longer than recommended. It was probably best she didn’t help Rein cook.

“Caviar,”  Avi suddenly brightened, perhaps far more enthusiastic than was proper after fucking the living daylights out of Perl in a strip club, and slightly resenting her but also determined to mine her for information about Tommy.  But it was a reaction he couldn’t help.  He was starving, he needed to get that nasty taste of fake sugar out of his mouth (it helped when he tasted Perl, at least.  She had a clean, fresh taste, like the ocean after a thunderstorm) and the mention of caviar made him perk up like a dog wagging its tail at the sound of ‘walkies’.

It was embarrassing, to say the least, and Avi quickly stifled his excitement, gripping Perl’s hand tighter.  Fortunately the nymph seemed completely tone-deaf to his reactions unless he was verbally spelling it out for her (”oh yeah, that feels good” and “I’m going to make you scream” and “keep talking dirty like that, I love it”) so he got over it quickly.

“I love caviar,” he replied calmly, then smirked at how mismatched and horrendous Perl looked.  She was a mess, and Avi reveled in it.  “Yes, I’m sure they are…” Avi murmured, pulling out his eelskin wallet (he hated eels) and tugging some $100 bills out of it. 

“That should do.” He placed it in the hands of the hostess as they left. “Come along, Miss Turing.”

“Aaaand that should do us!” Perl drawled out, high and trill in a happy sing-song, as she pulled him over the threshold of  Erzebet’s. It had been like the whole way over, Avi holding onto her hand as she tugged him through a maze of half-remembered side-alleys and wrong turns she fibbed her way through. 

About halfway there is became unclear to the nymph who was really unwilling to let go.

“Garcon!” Perl snapped, literally and figuratively, at the poor hostess. The employee, well trained by Bella and only trying to be helpful of course knew what the french word meant. The nymph had no idea, and only mimicked what she had seen on t.v. shows and movies. 

“Your finest table available and the most expensive caviar on tap.” Avi seemed to have gotten excited after she mentioned the fancy things earlier. And After the time he showed her she was aiming to dazzle him. Maybe find out a bit about what kept him so busy.

“On tap, Miss?” The hostess questioned, because who wouldn’t have questions after that sort of introduction.