There once was a candy man, Pete McMaroo,
Who wore jellybean jackets and taffy-tied shoes.
He danced every morning with caramel socks,
And used peppermint pebbles to tickle the clocks.
His hat was a swirl of spun sugar and lace,
With licorice lightning that zipped round his face.
He spoke in a giggle, he walked with a skip,
And he'd high-five a toffee with just one quick flip.
His home wasnât normalâit jiggled and jelled.
The doorbell played music, the floorboards all yelled.
The roof was a rooftop of bubblegum bricks,
And the front yard grew lollipops taller than sticks.
He had a small dog made of marshmallow fluff,
Who barked once a week and then melted in stuff.
His cat was a licorice noodle named Jean,
Who hissed only when she turned tangerine.
Inside, there were fountains of soda so bright,
That fireflies gathered to bathe in the light.
He'd juggle some jawbreakers, gargle some cream,
And whistle in chocolateâa cocoa-fueled dream.
He crafted his tables from nougat and nuts,
His spoons made of wafers, his napkins of gutsâ
(Not real ones, of course! Just fruit leather kind!)
The kind that gets stuck to your elbow and spine.
Each Tuesday at two, he'd host a parade,
Of cinnamon soldiers in candy crusade.
With marshmallow horses and sugar cube drums,
And a bagpipe that squeaked out the sound of gum thumbs.
He built a whole city of gummies and glaze,
A Ferris wheel powered by peppermint rays.
There were fudge-fueled trains and lollipop cops,
And a mayor who burped out banana-flavored slops.
But not everyone cheered for this candy crusader.
Some frowned on his sugar like bitter potaters.
"That man is a menace!" cried Dentist McClack,
As he polished his pickaxe and flossed out a snack.
âHeâs rotting their teeth and their brains and their shoes!
Iâll chase him with fluoride and logic and news!â
So he marched up to Pete with a brush in each hand,
And yelled, âI demand you DE-SUGAR this land!â
But Pete simply smiled and reached in his coat,
Pulled out a cupcake that danced like a goat.
âYou see, Mr. Dentist, your worldâs far too bland!
What fun is a Tuesday without candy sand?â
Then Pete sang a song full of giggles and pops,
As gumdrops erupted like fizzy corn crops.
The dentist slipped on a toffee-tied wire,
And landed face-first in a pudding-filled tire.
From then on, old Fred was never quite rightâ
He giggled at licorice deep into night.
And Pete? He grew sweeter, more wild and free,
Expanding his kingdom with syrupy glee.
He built candy castles, he spun sugared clouds,
He held gummy operas that drew in big crowds.
Heâd twirl through the skies on a bubble-wrap kite,
And leave little butterscotch stars in his flight.
So if ever you feel like your lifeâs gone askew,
And the worldâs far too sour and dentist-approved,
Just follow the trail where the chocolate winds meet,
And youâll find a small sign:
âThis Way to Sweet Pete.â