Ultimate Being Kars

why doesnt he say "i love you"? because the last person he said that to jumped off a roof right in front of him, ya know his brother?

why does he feel so much shame about being with lestat? because he is a black catholic man living in the jim crow south america's own racial apartheid. Unlike other instances in historical fiction where queer men pretend to be friends, louis has to pretend to be lestat's valet aka his racial subordinate where he isnt even given the privilege to be considered his friend, not even his equal or equal partner

several instances of him "being proud" is him asserting his personhood and the rights he deserves. he hates the word fledgling because it makes him a subordinate to lestat. that doesn't mean he isnt proud: he is as you saw with the "no whites" sign, but he was violently punished for in canon by a race riot that destroyed the black community (literally!)

his (metaphor for an eating disorder) animal diet left him with a weakened libido, and the depression he fell into after Claudia left did the exact same. he wasnt denying lestat intimacy and sex as some punishment he was not in the mood in general! plently of people have the criticism that the show chose to remove ace representation by making the vampires sexual, yet seem to ignore louis' common ace/sex repulsed narrative of being cheated on because you wont put out