perenelle

i do not like storms or weather events in general but i loooove a heavy windless summer shower like a weighted blanket

i recently learned not only that my birth was induced but that i was apparently rather forcibly removed from the womb, and it all makes a lot of sense. although as my family put it had i had it my way i would probably never have come out

i've been inching towards something in my life that would bring all the disjointed fragments together, but i wasn't sure what it would look like exactly, it was more of an abstract long term future ambition. then all of a sudden this week it just came together, a little unexpectedly but now i feel this urgency. i've been doing research, trying to find and familiarize myself with a whole ecosystem i wasn't sure even existed here. which also made me realize it could be a way of meeting people and finding community. to take myself more seriously and feel accomplished on my own terms, to carve out a perfectly me-shaped space in the world. i friggin love projects and instead of thinking of this as unhealthy i'm trying to make something of it... i do not have the capacity to take on any more but it all feels so right and hopeful and i am soooo excited