perception

Lucius: What are the options?

feel free to change words and pronouns as needed.

“Hm? Oh, I’m listening.”

“I’m sorry, but how can one possibly pay attention to a book with no pictures in it?”

“If I had a world of my own, everything would be nonsense.”

“I’m late, I’m late, for a very important date! No time to say hello, goodbye. I’m late, I’m late, I’m late!”

“Beg your pardon?”

“I was just giving myself some good advice.”

“That was a very sad story.”

“Goodness. I suppose I’ll be taking orders from (name) next.”

“Oh dear, everything is so confusing.”

“Oh, for goodness sake!”

“Now where in the world do you suppose that…?”

“Most everyone’s mad here. You may have noticed that I’m not all there myself.”

“I’m sorry I interrupted your birthday party.”

“See all the trouble you started?”

“Ah, that’s just it. If you don’t think, then you shouldn’t talk.”

“I have an excellent idea. Let’s change the subject.”

“I’m so late! I’m so very late.”

“If I listened earlier, I wouldn’t be here. But that’s just the trouble with me.”

“I give myself very good advice, but I very seldom follow it.”

“Will I ever learn to do the things I should?”

“She’ll be mad about you, simply mad!”

“Never mind all that! Get to the part where I lose my temper.”

“Where were you when this horrible crime was committed?”

“Well, she simply said you’re a fat, pompous, bad tempered old tyrant!”

“Off with her head!”

Dear _____, We are pleased to inform you that you have been accepted at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry

Bloody hell!

Sunshine, daisies, butter mellow… turn this stupid, fat rat yellow!

She needs to sort out her priorities.

I’m going to bed before either of you come up with another clever idea to get us all killed. Or worse, expelled.

You’ll soon find out that some wizarding families are better than others.

You don’t want to go making friends with the wrong sort. I can help you there.

Dry up, _____, you great prune!

It does not do to dwell on dreams, and forget to live.

What happened down in the dungeon between you and _____ is a complete secret. So, naturally, the whole school knows.

That is one of my more brilliant ideas. And between you and me, that is saying something.

It takes a great deal of bravery to stand up to your enemies, but a great deal more to stand up to your friends.

You don’t want me as your enemy, ______

We’ll have another little chat soon, when you’ve had time to decide where your loyalties lie.

There is no good and evil. There is only power… and those too weak to seek it.

I should have known that you would be here.

Why don’t you just cook the breakfast and try not to burn anything.

I want everything to be perfect for my ______’s special day!

It should be a lovely day at the zoo. I’m really looking forward to it.

I demand that you leave at once. You are breaking and entering.

It’s an outrage! It’s a scandal!

I will not pay to have some crackpot old fool teach him magic tricks!

Our job is to make sure that you don’t get bloodied up too badly!

Only problem is, I can’t remember what I’ve forgotten.

Then perhaps a map? I trust you don’t need one to find your seats.

It means you’ll never die.

Me? Books and cleverness. There are more important things: friendship and bravery.

You’re a little scary sometimes, you know that? Brilliant… but scary

Kill us faster? Oh, now I can relax!

Honestly, don’t you two read?

Feels strange to be going home, doesn’t it?

I’m not going home. Not really.

I can’t be a princess! I’m still waiting for normal body parts to arrive!

“  last night was nice.  ” “  lets do this again some time.  ” “  i’ll leave my number.  ” “  i gotta go, sorry.  ” “  can’t you at least stay for breakfast?  ” “  i’ll make coffee—don’t go anywhere.  ” “  next time, maybe i’ll buy you dinner first.  ” “  if we do this again you better buy me dinner first.  ” “  i don’t think my legs work again yet.  ” “  i don’t wanna get up.  ” “  no don’t move, it’s too cold outside the covers.  ” “  there’s no way i can hide these marks…  ” “  this was probably a mistake.  ” “  this can’t happen again.  ” “  you always say that, and yet we wind up right back here.  ” “  are you watching me sleep?  ” “  you look cute all frazzled like this.  ” “  why are you looking at me like that?  ” “  keep kissing me like that and we’re gonna end up back in bed.  ” “  something wrong? ” “  i’d stay if i could, i promise.  ” “  so if i put my number in your phone, you actually gonna text me? ” “  i made breakfast.  ” “  how do you take your coffee?  ” “  fuck! i’m late—  ” “  did you turn the alarm off?  ” “  if you don’t turn that alarm off i’m gonna throw it out the window.  ” “  i can’t find my shirt.  ” “  babe, we slept in.  ” “  i know you’re awake.  ” “  i’ll stay.  ” “  why don’t you stay?  ” “  i like waking up with you.  ” “  i like having you here at night.  ” “  you know, if you moved in we wouldn’t keep having to say goodbye like this.  ” “  so when are we gonna actually go on a real date?  ” “  do i smell bacon?  ” “  you made pancakes?  ” “  come on, come back to bed.  ” “  you weren’t there when i woke up.  ” “  i thought you left.  ” “  do you want me to go?  ” “  just let me sleep for five more minutes.  ” “  you’re really beautiful/handsome. even if you drool.  ” “  you talk in your sleep, ya know.  ”  

“don’t do that. don’t shut me out.” 

“you’ve been crying. i can tell.”

“we need to change those bandages and get some food in you.”

“you want me to rub your back ’til you fall asleep?”

“that was a brave thing you did today.” 

“shh, that’s okay, get everything out.”   

“there’s something on your shirt. you – that’s blood!”

“need some space?”

“you should lay down.”

“there’s nothing wrong with asking for help.” 

“shh, shh. you were having a nightmare.”

“we can talk through the door.” 

“let’s clean you up and get you to bed, okay?”

“you almost died.” 

“i brought you a blanket.”

“you’re home. you’re safe.” 

“i’m worried about you.”

“is everything okay?”

“tell me how to make it better.”

“it’s been a tough few days. how are you holding up?”

“you have to stay awake. come on, give my hand a squeeze.” 

“you’re in the hospital.” 

“think you can make it to the bathroom?”