Your deeds are your monuments 💥

My heart goes out to the Irish in these trying times. May you not contract alcohol poisoning from celebrating the news

in the US we only have 3 genders. american beauty, american psycho, and american pie

God, I can't tell you how much the "there's not enough enrichment in my enclosure" joke has helped my mental health. Because, for some reason I can't comprehend, pretending that I'm a zoo keeper caring for an animal (which is also me) just makes everything easier to comprehend. Like "Your head gets screwey when you're apartment is messy" just doesn't carry as much resonance as "The tiger becomes agitated when its enclosure is cluttered" because then I'll be like, no shit? The tiger? I've gotta keep things nice and clean for the tiger.

just found out that yesterday kim kardashian’s private jet produced 61 tons of CO2 emissions. over the last week drake’s private jet flights produced 182 tons of CO2 emissions. like what is even the point any more

the opposite of the four horsemen of the apocalypse….the four knights of paradise 

Why did they do a vastly superior CGI lion literally 15 years ago asfdsalkj

Stuart Little came out in 1999

I dindt know that rat was gay good for him tho

Who makes the porn bots. Where do they come from. What do they hope to achieve.

theres not a single fucking program id want to run on startup. as soon as i turn on my computer i want quiet silence to stare at my desktop wallpaper for a bit. if anythint else pops up im shooting it on sight

Just thinking about the intimacy behind a very soft and gentle "Let's get you home."

today’s date is the 3rd? what’s next, the 4th? the 5th? the minor fall, the major lift? 

When you see your pet and start petting their head and it’s randomly wet and you ask them “what happened why are you wet!!!!!!” And the pet doesn’t answer

tHERE ARE MEMES IN THOSE HIEROGLYPHICS