Always You

Is anyone else constantly going back and forth between disbelief and crippling grief all the while going through life with a constant but sort of quiet sadness in you?

i think ultimately for me what it boils down to is that he was a part of 1d, a band that is such an integral part of life that i found my best friend through it and even now i'm making friends through the band and it's such a pivotal moment for me and liam in whatever means was part of it. sure he drifted on a different path and made some choices and changed as a person, in part because of the choices he made and in part because of the atmosphere of the band as a whole and how he desperately needed the help. i'm in no way excusing his recent behaviour, he should be held accountable for that. however, i am grieving because he was a part of me growing up and i never thought i would be reading the news about his death at such an early stage and how i'm shocked to the core thinking about the impermanence of life. i'm grieving for the boys and how they must be feeling and for his family who are going to find out about his passing through social media. i desperately wish he had received the help he needed and actively made choices to better his life, but the truth is what it is. i'm grieving for my teenage self because in more ways than one 1d was and is her entire life

This is the best gif to depict that feeling

Y’know what i want to know….everyone’s first listen fave from Harry’s House vs Current favorite in the tags 🤭🤔