Pepper Ann Incorrect Quotes

Nicky: One of the major difficulties with Pepper Ann is learning to distinguish between her pretending to be stupid just to get people off their guard, pretending to be stupid because she can’t be bothered to think and wants someone else to do it for her, pretending to be outrageously stupid to hide the fact that she actually doesn’t understand what’s going on, and really being genuinely stupid.

Pepper Ann: I had a dream last night that my alarm was connected to Twitter and every time I hit snooze it publicly tweeted it with a disparaging little message along the lines of “filthy horrible girl has slapped the screen again, and slumbers on,” so that your followers could shame you and I was deeply, DEEPLY humiliated but that did not stop me from hitting snooze upwards of 14 times.

Nicky: Thank you, Pepper Ann. My mornings aren't complete without at least one major catastrophe.

Trinket: What's, like, wrong with you? Nicky: Off the top of my head, I'd say low self-esteem, a lack of paternal affection, and a genetic predisposition for anxiety and depression.

Pepper Ann: At my funeral there is going to be a closed casket and then it will be opened to reveal I am not inside. Instead, they will turn on the ceiling fan and my lifeless body will swing around the room while the Space Jam theme song is playing in the background. Pepper Ann: Nevermind, Mom says I can’t do that.

Alec Kane: I woke up at five in the morning so I could put spiders in P. Ann's bed. Nicky: I wish I could care about something as much as you care about ruining Pepper Ann's life.

Gwen Mezzrow: Milo! I’m so happy, I could kiss you! Milo: Uh… thanks! *later* Milo, lying face down on Nicky's bed: I can't believe I thanked her, Nicky. Thanked her. She wanted to kiss me and I said "thanks". Why? Because I'm a huge moron. Nicky, patting him on the back: Don’t beat yourself up over it. Things like that happen. Remember when Stewart said he loved me? Milo: Didn’t you say “neat”? Nicky, staring into the distance: I said “neat”.