Unconditionally | James Potter
Pairing: James Potter x fem!Black!reader
Summary: Three times when you realised you are in love with your brotherâs best friend and one time when it all suddenly made sense.
Warnings: some swear words, my English? (since itâs not my first language)
Whenever I tried to think back to the time when it all started, I couldnât exactly pinpoint the moment when I realised I loved James Potter.
He was my brotherâs best friend, for Merlinâs sake!
I remember I hated him when we first met. Maybe it was because he was a Potter and my father told us to never befriend a Potter? I was, after all, a daddyâs girl at that time. Sirius loved the idea of going against our fatherâs orders but me? Not really. I was a good girl.
I stopped being the favourite child of the Black family when I was sorted to Gryffindor alongside my twin brother. It caused a lot of arguing back at home. Sirius was proud to be a Gryffindor. Me? Not so much. Imagine being the favourite child spoiled with compliments only to become a black sheep. I couldnât bear it. But maybe it was good because it helped me to bond with my brother more? I was even more furious when Regulus was sorted to Slytherin the year after that and took my rightful place on the pedestal. Finally, I understood how my brothers have always felt.
At that time Sirius was a great friend. He helped me get through all the bad feelings I had about myself for something that wasnât really my fault. Finally, I was okay with all that had happened.
But back to James Potter. The thorn in my side.
Everybody knew he loved Lily Evans, he wasnât very discreet about his big, awful crush on her. The whole bloody Hogwarts knew about his infatuation with the redhead girl. I used to tease him about it alongside Sirius, Remus, and Peter.
Maybe it was in our 6th year? When I realised?
We were all sitting in Potions classes when Slughorn decided we should work in pairs. I turned to Lily because we usually partnered up.
âOh, no, no, no,â said Slughron with a big smile on his face âWe should mix things up a bit. Iâm going to assign your partnersâ
All of the students present growled at his revelation. I feared I would end up with some Slytherin bloke. However, Slughorn had other plans.
And in that way, Sirius ended up working with Peter (a disaster indeed), Remus was assigned to some Slytherin girl (poor Remus), Lily with Severus Snape (well, they were still friends at that point), Dorcas with a shy girl from Gryffindor, I believed her name was Lucy (Lucy was good at Potions so Dorcas won a partners lottery), Marlene and Mary together (they worked good together), and that left me with James Potter.
I smiled at him but inside I was screaming. Everybody knew Potter was good at every single class but he rarely paid attention to the instructions. I knew I would end up doing all the work myself and constantly reminding him to focus. What I didnât anticipate was that we would be working on an Amortentia potion. Slughorn first called us to see what the potion should look like and, of course, he asked us what we could smell.
When I tried to concentrate, I recognised the smell of old books, my favourite candy from Honeydukes, Andromedaâs famous pumpkin pie, and something I couldnât quite recognise.
Thatâs when the revelation came and I was hit in the face with the smell of Jamesâ cologne. I thought he was standing too close to me but when I looked around he was actually close to Lily Evans bothering her.
The whole class was a nightmare only because I now knew that somehow James Potterâs smell was in MY Amortentia potion. His constant questions about what I could smell didnât help either. He was too curious for his own good.
âJust drop it, Potterâ
âYou probably smelled a wet ratâ
âWhatever helps you sleep at nightâ
âI couldnât sleep if I knew you fancied Wormtailâ
âStop, Potter, or Iâm going to hex youâ
âAlways a charmer, Blackâ
He tried to touch my shoulder but I was still too scared from the moments before when I smelled him in the potion so I shuffled a little so as not to be touched by the boy. James looked confused and his smile dropped a little but I paid no attention to it, too preoccupied with my own conflicting thoughts.
When the class ended, I quickly packed my bags and left the classroom.
We never talked about it again.
Maybe it was at a party after Gryffindor won with Slytherin? We were all having a blast till the very end. I danced with my friends, drank a lot, and flirted with some boys who tried to get my attention. It wasnât until our little group of friends were the only ones that stayed in the common room. Marlene had a genius plan to play Spin the Bottle. You had to kiss the person it landed on.
âIâm not going to kiss my sister, McKinnon,â said Sirius. I pretended to vomit at the mere thought of it.
âHeâs right, Marlene, what are we supposed to do if it lands on one of us? I know Blacks have a tradition of marrying within the family but I really do not wish to continue this madnessâ
âOkay, if you donât want to kiss someone, you need to answer a question truthfully and drinkâ
Remus spun the bottle first and it landed on Peter.
âTruth, please,â said Lupin and we all laughed.
âOkay, Remus, who was your first real kiss?â asked Mary. Remus looked uncomfortable, and so did I because I knew the truth.
âUm, I donât know if she wants her identity to be revealedâ Remus tried to dodge the question.
âShut up, Moony, you agreed to play the game!â Sirius gave him a shot of firewhiskey which he needed to drink after answering the question.
âOkayâ Remus sighed âIt was (Y/N)â
âYou kissed my sister?!â
âYou wanted me to tell the truth!â
âI think I made myself very clear when I said that my sister is off-limits for you idiots!â
âWell, brother, thatâs why the kiss was so goodâ I tried defending Remus but probably made it worse âBecause it was forbiddenâ I winked at Remus who quickly emptied his glass and blushed like crazy.
âThis conversation isnât overâ Sirius pointed at his friend âAre you going to tell me you snogged Prongs and Wormtail too?â he asked me.
âYouâll never know, brotherâ
Peter spinned the bottle next and it landed on Mary. It was a quick kiss.
Mary needed then to kiss Marlene.
Marlene kissed my brother who then kissed Lily.
Lily spun the bottle and I saw that James wanted really badly for it to land on him. His dreams were crushed when it stopped at Dorcas.
Then Dorcas kissed Remus.
But when Remus spun again it landed on me.
âCome here, Remus, for old timesâ sakeâ
Sirius screamed something I couldnât understand. The kiss with Remus was sweet and quick, just like I remembered our first one. I smiled reassuringly at him after but I knew my brother would talk his ears off later on.
I took the bottle and spun it. I prayed it wouldnât land on Sirius.
The bottle landed on James Potter instead.
âTwo out of three. Better get ready Peterâ I said with a smirk but inside I was actually stressed. I still remembered his smell in amortentia.
James slowly made his way to me never once breaking the eye contact. He sat in front of me, staring intensely. He put his hand on my cheek when his lips met mine. I shut my eyes closed and kissed him back. His lips were soft and, Merlin, he knew what he was doing when he pushed his tongue inside my mouth. I grasped his shirt bringing him closer to me and biting on his lower lip. He moaned a little trying to kiss me even harder but he had too much strength and it ended up with us falling to the ground, James on top of me.
âThatâs enough, Prongs, itâs my sisterâ Sirius helped James get up and then gave me a hand.
I donât remember much from that party after that.
My mind was still fixated on that little moan.
James Potterâs kiss made my legs weak.
The party was long forgotten when next day James declared his undying love for Lily Evans to the whole school during breakfast. I tried to squish my little crush when I still had the chance to move on.
At the end of our 6th year, I knew I was fucked. I noticed every single little thing about James Potter. I liked the way those little wrinkles appeared at the corners of his eyes when he was laughing. I loved his jokes. I adored how much he cared for his friends and family, how he could do absolutely everything in his power to cheer Remus up after a full moon, how he got out of his way to tell Sirius and me that our family name didnât define us as people, how he would defend Peter when Sirius was making fun of him.
I was even mad at Lily for not seeing how wonderful he was. I was furious when she was still rejecting him, making fun of him. He didnât deserve that. He deserved to be loved unconditionally. He deserved someone who would fall madly, truly, deeply in love with him, who would know all his quirks and bad sides and even though still love him for who he was.
James Potter was loud and obnoxious and he did strut a little but he was also devoted to his friends, funny, caring, and good-hearted. And if Lily Evans didnât see that, it was my personal mission to make James realise that he deserved better.
Sirius and I spent the summer at the Potters. My brother went there for almost every school break but it was maybe my third time there. I didnât want to leave Reggie alone with our parents but turned out he was more than okay with their way of treating me. That was when I sent an owl to Sirius and he told me to pack my bags and go to the Potters.
We had a lot of fun together. We laughed, we played quidditch, we talked a lot, and I even helped them plan their next prank for the beginning of our last year at Hogwarts. Euphemia Potter was a sweet lady who welcomed me to her house with open arms. I helped her a lot around the house and talked to her about every little thing I couldnât talk about with my mother. She was great, she made me realise that maybe I had a mother but I never had a mom.
Fleamont Potter was just like James but older. He made a lot of jokes, gave us candy when his wife wasnât looking, he even asked me if I could marry his son once.
âYou see, (Y/N), I believe you would be a great match for my son. I see how he looks at you, how his smile is wider whenever you are near. He talks about his mystery girl a lot but he could never tell us when we would be able to meet the love of his life, as he likes to call her. Now I see why. Sirius is always around and Iâm not sure he would be okay with his best friend dating his sisterâ
âOh, Mr Potter, I think you have it all wrong. I appreciate the vote of confidence but I am not Jamesâ mystery girl. Her name is Lily and sheâs my friendâ
âWeâll see about that, (Y/N)â
During one evening Sirius went to bed earlier because he didnât feel good and that left me and James alone in his backyard, lying on the grass and looking up at the night sky.
âJamie, your father wants me to marry youâ
âYeah, crazy, right? He thinks Iâm your mystery girlâ
âOh, and what did you tell him?â
âThat itâs definitely not me. That I know the girl you have a crush on and he said that weâll seeâ
âI have no idea why he said that Iâm very sorryâ
âNo big deal, Potterâ
After a moment of silence, I decided it was time to talk to James about Lily. I was nervous and a little scared that the conversation would ruin our friendship.
âIâve been thinking about you and Lily for a whileâ
âYeahâ I took a deep breath before continuing,â I think she doesnât deserve youâ
âYou see, Jamie, youâve been trying to get the girl since we were thirteen years old and sheâs still not even slightly interested in going on a date with you. Sheâs always laughing at you, turning you down. I donât think thatâs very good for you. I get that youâre in love with her but maybe you should start thinking about yourself a little bit?â
James was quiet for a moment.
âYou deserve the world, James Potter. You deserve a girl who will be madly in love with you. You deserve a girl who will love you unconditionally. You are a good guy. Sure, you have your faults. We all have them. But you should be loved the way you love other people - wholeheartedly. I donât think Lily is the right girl for you. Iâm also not saying you should do whatever Iâm telling you right now. I just believe you should think about it a little bit and decide if itâs even worth it. Because you, James Potter, are definitely worth it and itâs her loss if she cannot see thatâ
âWow, Black, do you have a crush on me or something?â He chuckled making my heart hurt a little bit.
âYouâre also an idiotâ I slapped his shoulder but laughed with him too. Despite my smile, my heart was breaking a little bit just because the thought of me having a crush on James only made him laugh. âIâm your friend, I just hate to see you struggling so muchâ
âYou are a good mate, (Y/N). Thank you for always looking out for meâ James took my hand in his and interceded our fingers. He softly caressed my hand with his thumb.
During our 7th year, everything changed. James Potter suddenly stopped being interested in Lily Evans anymore. And that was a big, juicy gossip at Hogwarts. How could it have happened that James Potter just stopped loving Lily Evans? Could he have another girl? Maybe he had a secret girlfriend?
There was a lot of gossip about his possible girlfriend going around the school. I was just glad that he finally realised that he was worth much more than what Lily was giving him all those years.
That was also when I noticed that he paid a lot more attention to me. He always sat next to me, he wanted to be partners in every class which made Sirius mad, he helped me with my homework, and he walked me to my classes even when it meant that he would be late to his. It was really weird but I wouldnât dare to hope he suddenly had a crush on me. I wasnât stupid.
Until that one fateful night in October when I helped the boys with the prank we planned together. A Ravenclaw prefect was patrolling the corridors. He spotted us near the kitchens and shouted something.
âRun!â Shouted Peter. We all started to run but we were a big group so it would be easy to eventually catch us.
âWe need to scatter,â said Remus out of breath. Peter immediately turned the corner and turned into a rat. What a team player.
â(Y/N), hereâ James took my hand and made me run with him in the opposite direction from Remus and Sirius. He found an empty broom closet and quickly closed the doors behind us. There wasnât a lot of space so we were very close, our noses were practically touching. James put his fingers on my lips so I was quiet. His other hand was still holding mine and squeezing it reassuringly. After a while, when we were sure the Ravenclaw boy wasnât coming in this direction, James moved his hand to my waist.
He was staring at me very intensely.
âWhat?â I whispered to him âDo I have something on my face? Why are you looking at me like that, Potter?â
âRemember what my dad told you? About my mystery girl?â
âYeah?â I was confused. Why bringing it up now?
âHe was right, you know? It never was Evans. I like her, sure, but as a friendâ
âWhat? Then why were you running after her like a lost puppy all those years?â
âRemember when we first met?â
âOf course, I do, James. I hated you.â He chuckled at that.
âI thought you were a stuck-up rich girl but you proved me wrong, (Y/N). I had this big crush on you in our first yearâ
I looked at him as if he had three heads. What was he talking about? I put my hand on his forehead to check if he wasnât sick. He rolled his eyes at me.
âI told Sirius about that. He was my best friend so I thought that he would give me some advice. What I didnât anticipate though was that he would be overprotective of his sister. He screamed at me almost all night, he said that if I ever try to fancy you again he will personally beat the living shit out of me. I get him, you know? You are his precious little sisterâŠâ
âHeâs only two minutes and three seconds olderâ
ââŠand he wants to protect you from all the bad guys out there even if his best friend is one of them. So I tried to never talk about that again. But Sirius knew. In our third year, he came up with a rule which he then proudly told us about. We are friends and friends donât fancy each other's siblings. If we ever dare to break the rule, that means we were never friends in the first place. I was scared, you know? I didnât want to lose both of you so I told him later that he has nothing to worry about because I donât fancy you anymore, that there is another girl I have my eyes on. He asked me who it was and I panicked. Lily Evans was the first one to come to my mind because you two were always together. So as not to lose my best friend I tried to persuade him that I love Lily Evansâ
âYou were quite good at thatâ
âShut up, Black, Iâm not finished. Then you mentioned the conversation with my father and told me to look for someone who deserves me. Love, the problem is I never felt good enough for you but your words made me think. If not now then when? Am I supposed to watch you fall in love with some idiot? Am I supposed to stand in the crowd at your wedding even though I want to be the one waiting at the altar for you? Am I supposed to let the girl of my dreams slip through my fingers because Iâm too scared of what my best friend will say about this? You said a lot of nice things about me that night so let me return the favor. You are incredibly smart and witty, (Y/N) Black. I love it when you get so preoccupied with your book that youâre not really paying attention to the world around you. You bite your lip a lot when youâre focused on the books you like. I adore the way you always come up with a sarcastic comment about everything stupid we say. I like to watch you cheer for me and your brother at quidditch matches. I love the way you care for your friends and family, even when some of them obviously donât deserve that. You are stunning, (Y/N) Black, in and out and I am madly in love with youâ
âRemember that one class last year when we were making amortentia? You asked me what I smelled and I didnât want to tell youâ
âThatâs because I smelled you and it scared the living shit out of meâ
âYou smelled me?â James was surprised but he had a small smile on his face.
âYesâ I looked down because I knew I just blushed like crazy and was a little embarrassed about that âLater on there was this big party after you guys crushed Slytherins at quidditch and Marlene suggested spin the bottle gameâ
âI really wished that damn bottle would point at me. I might have used a spell to be sure actuallyâ
âThat kiss was totally worth it. I still think about itâ
âYou used magic to kiss me? Youâre a fool, James Potterâ I laughed a little but couldnât help myself and grinned happily. âYou didnât have to do thatâ
âAnd why is that?â James smiled at me and let go of my hand. He cupped my cheek instead and waited patiently for my answer. That little bastard. I stared at his lips for longer than I would like to admit it. But, Merlin, how much I wanted to taste those soft lips again, to hear him moan in my mouth.
âBecause,â I said getting closer to him. He still looked me in the eyes, our lips brushed when I said the next part âI am madly in love with you too, James Potterâ
He didnât wait for another second. He pushed his lips against mine and kissed me hard. I put my arms around his neck trying to bring him closer to me. One of his hands wandered behind my back and under my shirt while the other tangled itself in my hair. I bit his lower lip again hoping that I would get the reaction I wanted.
He moaned into my lips and put his tongue in my mouth. I remember that at one point we knocked a broom over but we didnât care much about that.
I felt happy, over the moon happy. James made me feel all of the emotions at once: excitement, love, happiness. I felt as if I was made just for him and he for me. When our lips met it was like fireworks on New Yearâs Eve, as cheesy as it sounds. But James Potter made me into one of those giggly girls who wouldnât shut up about their boyfriends. And the worst part is, I didnât mind.
When we finally broke apart to get some air, James was grinning like crazy and still holding me close to him. I wondered if he could feel the way my heart was beating so fast.
In that small broom closet, I felt like the luckiest girl in the entire world.
James suddenly became very serious and there was a wrinkle on his forehead as if he was worried about something. He hid his head on my shoulder and hugged me tightly.
âMerlin, how am I going to tell that to Padfootâ
âThatâs something we should worry about tomorrowâ
âCan you kiss it better?â
âBut I will be tomorrowâ
