“I just hugged a guy I don’t know. He smelled nice so it was okay.”

Friend: “Did you get your referee licence from a cereal packet?”

Friend: “This shirt is a fucking IQ test. I’m not that smart.”

Cousin: “That’s what I do in the evenings. Chew ice.”

Sibling: “I’m only gonna say 6 (six) words.” *holds up 7 (seven) fingers* “Go to bed.”

Sibling: “The door should close, Clio. Otherwise, you’re illegal.”

Teacher: “Five minutes left. You know what’s perfect then? A minilesson on nuclear weapons.”

Teacher: “Hydrogen bombs are smaller than atom bombs. Why is that good if you like to kill people with bombs?”

Guy: *drinks energy drink* “You get so much energy. I want to lie down and do 200 (two hundred) burpees.”

Guy: “Fuck. I’m sitting by myself today. I have no one to bother.”

Guy: “Nutella is like breathing.”

Kid: “Wait! I have to warm up my cheeks one more time on the radiator.”

Sibling: “Clothes are for noobs.”

Sibling: “Breakfast, lunch, breakfast, dinner. Breakfast is the most important meal of the day, that’s why we eat it two times.”