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Bank Holiday Monday, and — miracle of miracles — the sun’s out, Britain’s positively glowing. There I am, age 65, curves more glorious than the weather, and yes, a solid 1.5 stone heavier than I’d ever planned. In my twenties, I’d contort myself into anything remotely slimming: belts, Spanx, and the occasional panic at a school reunion (where I once hid behind a potted plant, convinced it would mask my hips — spoiler: it did not). Fast forward to today—nearly 9,000 photos and films on OnlyFans, every fold, swell and droop on display, and with The Beekeeper and you lovely lot cheering me on, I’ve realised it’s grand to let it all hang out. Like a Victoria sponge — crumbly, jammy, but always worth savouring — my body’s lived, loved, and laughed. Here’s to sharing every slice.

Tanka: Curves Unfurled

Sunlit tree, curves free

Years spent hiding, now I shine

Joy in every fold

Age ripens, wisdom blooms bright

Curves unfurled—life tastes just right

Lady Bee