Pentacular

This is just a test. 

It is not a real post.

It is just a test. 

If it had been a real post there would have been hashtags. 

I would have checked a thousand times to see if there had been any likes.

I would have thought about what I said and wondered if it would still be true for me in a week, a month, a year. 

If this had been a real post I would have smiled when I posted it, 

because you know-sharing is caring. 

But it wasn’t a real post. 

It was just a test. I don’t even care at all.

Genesis

I know I acted surprised when I saw you.

Standing there in your colorful sock feet

fresh from the Hamptons, hanging out with your friends.

But the truth is

I wasn’t. 

I had invoked you earlier in the day. 

Thinking, “I miss his face. I hope he is doing well. It would be great to see him. To let him know how happy I am that he is doing well.” 

So when your iconic shape walked towards me

I wasn’t surprised. 

Effortlessly you slipped past my defenses. 

Effortlessly you slipped past my fear. 

Effortlessly you slipped past my what if’s and what will people think? 

Effortlessly you made me smile, over and over. 

Effortlessly you made me open my thoughts to new perceptions of what was and what could be. 

Effortlessly you captured my imagination and slid into my dreams. 

Effortlessly you made me laugh at life, finding joy for no reason. 

Effortlessly you slid yourself inside of me. 

Effortlessly you were able to fashion a new truth for me.

Music 

How do I thank you for the gentleness of you? 

For the ways you touch old wounds and heal them with your presence? 

The shadows of the past

Don’t bother me now

Because deep down I know

All things,  the perceived good and the perceived bad, 

Will all someday transform. 

I fall deep into your green eyes. 

Eyes that calm. 

Eyes that detect. 

Eyes that pulled me in when I had no intention 

of being pulled in. 

Eyes that make me forget the whole world around me. 

Eyes that make me ignore time, distance, weather.

Was there a crowd around us? 

I didn’t see it. I didn’t hear it. I didn’t feel it. 

I saw your green eyes. 

Your smile. 

I heard your laughter. 

I was in a deep forest of peace,

I gather up friends where friends didn’t know they needed my friendship.

 I lavish love, melting through defenses that have been built up by people I have never met.

 I am curious about you.

 About the deep canyons that have been carved in your life.

 About your warm smiles when no one is around. 

About the music you dance to in the quiet moments before the light wakes your eyes.

 I want to know what makes you feel new, precious, divine, and what makes you feel destroyed, bludgeoned, and misaligned.

 And when I know those things,

 I want to look straight into your eyes and tell you with an honest heart, “It’s all good.”

You were right about

so many things. 

Even the many things,

I didn’t want to admit you were right about. 

But the one important thing

you were wrong about,

was your stubborn belief

I need you to understand.

 Words are my medium. 

My love.

 My breath. 

But when it comes to you,

 every single word I can think of

 is

inadequate