This is a Mess

This homeless person is making me uncomfortable. Should I call [a man with a gun]?

My neighbor is having a loud party. Should I get [a man with a gun] involved?

There are some teenagers skateboarding. Do you think [a man with a gun] would get rid of them for me?

I was on a train here in Denmark with my boyfriend at the time and we randomly got into a conversation with a very friendly young American guy. At some point he said he enjoyed how religion played a very small role here and mention growing up Christian and going to a mega church in the US.

We had no idea what he meant by mega church. He seemed equally surprised that we didn’t. When he explained it I remember feeling like he was explaining an alien culture to me. What do you mean it’s a church with room for thousands of people? Aren’t churches supposed to be close knit communities where people know each other? How can they hear the priest? Speakers? Yeah okay that makes sense. But can people even see the priest? Giant screens!? Okay that seems a bit much. What do you mean stage show!?

Hey there! Just a friendly reminder/PSA from your friendly neighborhood Pixiemage!

“Dead Dove: Do Not Eat” is too often (incorrectly) used as a cover-all tag, on fics ranging from Vaguely Uncomfortable to Serious Shit, as a replacement for any intense tags relating to the story. People will use it to say “Holy shit guys some INTENSE SHIT happens in this story” without actually saying what that Intense Shit™ is.

In actuality, the “Dead Dove” tag is meant to be used in addition to other warning tags. Pulled from a scene from the show Arrested Development (look it up on YouTube!), it means “Hi! Hey! I labeled this fic to warn you of what’s in it, so you might REALLY want to read those labels! This fic is exactly what it says on the tin! The tags are accurate! Don’t say I didn’t warn you, because this is me warning you! Read the tags!”

So before you accidentally use the “Dead Dove: Do Not Eat” tag without context, here’s your preemptive lesson for next time. Please tag your fics accordingly! Ta!

Remember when Lil Nas X beautifully explored his sexuality, seduced and killed the devil to the banger of all time, and instead of cheering on this openly gay and proud Black artist for his artistry and fighting back against respectability politics, suddenly said respectability politics was all the Queerest Place on the Internet cared about? Hm. Wonder what happened there.

Once we got a note from an upset kindergarten teacher about an incident with The Peace Flower. I wanted to give her the opportunity to explain what happened.

"Ariana and I were having an argument and she wouldn't listen and she was mad at me. So I went and got The Peace Flower and gave it to her. Only she wouldn't take it! I told her she had to take it, but she wouldn't! I tried several times and told her that that was the rule: You *have* to take it! But she wouldn't!

...so I hit her with it!"

(the note had said "student hit her friend with The Peace Flower")

"what is this BABY doing in space!???"

Please look at the baby chinchilla from work. Look at as much of it you can see without a microscope. Please PLEASE I need people to see it's it's such a THING

Do I miss some foods I can't eat anymore without getting sick? Sure, but that's not what really bothers me. What bothers me is being excluded from a huge portion of human social life of which food is a crucial component. What bothers me is the stress and social stigma of trying to figure out what I can safely eat. What bothers me is the amount of extra work and cost that is required of me to identify, obtain, and prepare safe foods. What bothers me is people treating my needs like a nuisance, as though I chose to be like this - as though their brief inconvenience to check an ingredients list is unreasonable, when I deal with this every day of my life forever.

I don't miss the food that much. I miss not having to worry about what I eat. I miss freedom. I miss when trying new foods and new restaurants was fun instead of a minefield. I miss not having to plan my entire life around the need for safe foods.