Oh my bifurcated genius

if i was a popular minecraft youtuber id just tweet "hey guys stop drawing shipping fanart of me and my friends/coworkers, i only fucked one of them and seeing me paired with anyone else is kinda weird and crosses my boundaries" and then i'd turn my phone off

youre telling me a bloke can become a lass

youre telling me a bloke can become a lass

youre telling me a bloke can become a lass

EVERYONE. look at her again.

does the body ALWAYS have to keep the score? maybe we could just have a friendly game this time. maybe we can just have fun without putting numbers on it

The water fountain when you’re thirsty af is definitely a top 5 place to publicly debase yourself

everyone on the block hates me because I have to take my pet loose sheet of aluminum siding on a walk every day at 3am

its kind of sad that bugs are so weak. it dishonors their noble biology. i guess this is is why crustaceans are so admirable. imagine for a moment, an unsquishable bug. such is the way of the crab

How do cats just manifest trash. You’ll vacuum your entire house and turn around and your cat will be running around with a kind of cardboard that didn’t exist until two seconds ago.

new enemy i came up with called the "false mimic" this is just some guy that hides in chests and bobs the lid up and down like a mimic breathing. he has 1 hp and if you smack the chest he starts begging for his life snot and tears running down his face