Oh my bifurcated genius

the way she was seconds from fully slapping him in the face if he didnt get his hand up fast enough...... i love her sm

Why is it that every time I google something like "Are olives poisonous to cats" the top results are always like "Fun fact: Cats are carnivores! This means that they eat meat. There is no reason to include olives in a cat's diet. You should feed your cat cat food, which is dry or wet food especially designed for cats. You can purchase this at a store." like is there a single person alive on the planet who's googled "Are blueberry muffins safe for cats" because they're planning on switching their cat to a muffin-only diet??? No, I'm asking because the little bastard somehow popped open the packet while I was putting away the groceries and dragged one under the couch before I could react and now I need to know if I should call the after-hours vet. "Cats should not eat spaghetti." NO SHIT, SHERLOCK!!!! "Try to keep human food away from cats." i live in a studio apartment with a completely silent and permanently hungry apex predator who has the intelligence of a toddler and the desperate Machiavellian cunning of a creature who spent his formative months on the streets. He can already open doors and he is this 👌 close to learning how to open the microwave. He is stronger than me and covered in knives. So im gonna do my best but for the moment i just need you to tell me whether this yoghurt is going to kill my son y/n

For plants specifically, there’s also a wildly detailed set of posts and listings about toxicity on the old, wonderful, Plants Are the Strangest People blog

also apropos of nothing i always found the phrase "broken english" confusing. doesnt broken imply something that was in full working order being damaged. if youre learning english as a second language then your english isnt broken it just isnt complete yet. you dont call a half-finished painting a broken painting...............

don’t ask chatgpt I can lie to you for free

why do so many people talk about nazi phases like they're a rite of passage and completely normal for everyone to have

i bet the pain will end if i arrange a perfect enough sentence about it

five nights at friendlys

crazy that you can meet heterosexual people on the internet. im so used to gay people in my phone. sometimes there are straight people in my phone too. big news if true.