pengiluv

I die for this ship 😭

Alas, I have to move on.

I can't hold on to a fantasy and pretend it is a dream.

He could be or not.

I might be or not.

As I stare at the ceiling, I, too, wish I were elsewhere, free.

From fear, hiding, lies, and sadness.

I've found comfort in the falsehood I've set up.

Praying to God that it is temporary.

Sometimes I think of him.

I try to think of someone else, but they can't beat him.

If things were different, I wouldn't have given up so easily.

On something that would've been.

Or someone who would've been mine or not.

But in that world, I would've known instead of being in the dark.

A new chapter is coming.

I'm scared.

Flowers in meadows may die once I cross over.

Oh, how I wish things were different.

I still love him, even though it is different now.

The feelings linger in my soul like a curse.

I used to go sit with him when he was alone.

But now, even if I do, the feeling is not there.

He's gone, he's not there.

The one I loved is not there, but I still love you.

I see a world that could've existed

Where we held hands and kissed

But we don't live in that world

Maybe if I knew how you felt

I would be thinking of you every night

Or we would be having late night talks

But I'll never know cause I was scared