Icarus in Love

sender blocks receiver's path with a smug grin.

sender steps into receiver's space just to prove a point.

sender folds their arms and challenges receiver to prove them wrong.

sender steals receiver's victory with a teasing bow.

sender rolls their eyes at receiver, but can't hide the smile tugging at the corner of their mouth.

sender catches receiver staring after an argument and raises an eyebrow.

sender deliberately chooses the seat beside receiver, claiming everywhere else was taken.

sender cleans up receiver's injuries while insisting it's only practical.

sender mutters that only they're allowed to beat receiver.

sender catches receiver before they lose their balance.

sender finds themself defending receiver from someone else, and receiver overhears.

sender scoffs at receiver's idea before admitting it was a good one.

sender argues with receiver over something neither of them actually cares about anymore.

sender notices they've memorized all of receiver's tells.

sender reluctantly agrees to team up with receiver.

sender smirks when they realized they got under reciver's skin.

sender instinctively reaches out to stop receiver from getting hurt.

sender deliberately provokes receiver just to get a reaction.

sender leans far too close while arguing with receiver.

sender refuses to admit they were worried about receiver.

sender notices receiver looks unfairly attractive when they're angry.

sender finds themself smiling after one of receiver's insults.

sender interrupts someone else before they can insult receiver.

sender rolls their eyes when receiver shows off, but can't look away.

sender catches receiver laughing and forgets what they were going to say.

sender gets unexpectedly defensive when someone calls receiver incompetent.

sender insists receiver is cheating during a friendly competition.

sender reaches the finish line first, only to turn around and wait for receiver.

sender realizes they actually enjoy arguing with receiver.

sender instinctively steps between receiver and danger.

sender realizes winning doesn't feel as satisfying if receiver isn't there.

sender remembers every sarcastic nickname receiver has ever given them.

sender begrudgingly compliments receiver's skills.

sender catches themself watching receiver instead of the competition.

sender offers receiver a hand up, pretending it's purely out of convenience.

sender notices they're smiling before they even realize receiver has walked into the room.

sender throws their jacket over receiver's shoulders while complaining the entire time.

sender realizes they know exactly how to make receiver laugh.

sender accidentally lets a genuine compliment slip while arguing with receiver.

sender catches receiver looking at them with something softer than annoyance.

sender realizes the line between rivalry and affection has become impossible to find.

Pelle was a very fussy toddler much to Deshanna’s dismay. This was mostly thanks to his magic just buzzing about in his tiny little body causing him to sense and feel energy and people’s emotions. When he was a toddler, he hadn’t quite grasped the concept of emotional regulation so when he sensed something was wrong his first instinct was to cry.

This of course led to him having emotional outbursts and sometimes complete meltdowns in the first couple years Deshanna had adopted him and she hadn’t the faintest idea what was causing him to become so upset. He also used to cry inconsolably when small animals were hurt. 

The Journals of Pelle Lavellan

14 Justinian, 9:34 Dragon

I'm scared my secret might get out. I don't know what to do. People can't find out. I'm supposed to get married to Finni in the autumn. I know that she knows my secret, but nobody else does. And for good reason too. I'd never live it down. It would be social suicide. What would my parents say? Or worse, Mallas' dad? I know he's not my dad but he really does like make sure I don't forget how much he doesn't like me.

Anyways, Faris scared me today in the woods. Jumped right out of the bushes and shouted at me so loud. I was so scared I fell over. But then he did something weird. He just like...he was just leaning over me with his hands on the grass on both sides of my head staring at me. I don't know why I thought he was going to beat me up, but I just had a bad feeling so I held my breath and waited for it.

He asked me to breathe, and cursed before telling me he wasn't going to hurt me and how jumpy I was. I guess he's right, I could stand to be a bit braver but fuck what was I supposed to think when he came out of the bushes shouting and pinning him to the ground?

He let me sit up, but he was still staring at me and I didn't know why. Because I'm a glutton for punishment I asked him why he'd even pinned me to the ground in the first place if he wasn't trying to hurt me or if there wasn't someone else hiding in the bushes waiting to do something embarrassing to me. He didn't answer me of course, he just gave me another shove and told me not to get any funny ideas.

That was the first instance I started to worry that he knew something. What funny ideas could I possibly get? Okay--a lot. I'm a teenage boy and some guy I've been crushing on just pinned me down and made direct eye contact with me. OF COURSE my mind was going all kinds of places that I would absolutely keep to myself. Faris is too old for me anyways , he's older than Nara, and she's four years older than me.

He's cute sure...and muscular, and cocky, and loud, and really good at sparring he always wins. Sure I like to watch him--for science. But I'm just looking right? What's wrong with watching? I can't believe I'm trying to justify having a crush on one of the hunters to a piece of paper right now. That's kind of weird of me, but I guess it feels like I'm talking to someone that can't answer or tell me how weird I am. Paper's a good listener, I wonder if paper ever feels a way about always being told people's deepest thoughts and just having to keep it a secret?

That doesn't really matter. Anyways, he put his hands back next to my head after he shoved and he accused me of liking him. I denied it of course. He doubled down, 'you're not a fighter Sibs, you don't have any good reason to watch me with the amount of attention that you do.' I wasn't giving in though. I told him I didn't like him, might have even told him to fuck off. What was I supposed to say? Yes, I think about you a lot and I like you a lot? I'm not that stupid.Or I didn't think so because he decided to challenge that answer.

I still can't believe this happened even writing about it, but he leaned down and kissed me, and my stupid fucking ass kissed him back. He laughed at me, not in a nice way, in that mean way people do when they've caught you in a lie and they're going to gloat about it. And he did. It was awful, like all the things that seemed so cool about him were suddenly gone and he was just mean. I don't think I've ever changed my mind about someone so fast. My face got so hot I felt someone was holding a lit match to me and passing it over my cheeks.

As if it couldn't get any worse he asked me 'Are you sure about that?' I'd really had enough of it. I had two options, wrestle him to set myself free or cry, which I was about ready to do but I'd be damned if I cried in front of him because he fucking sucked. So I pounded on his chest until he backed off and I ran home, ignored my mother when she called my name when I walked past her with the sour face I probably had on, and crawled under the covers and hid from the world.

She tried to talk to me. I told her I wasn't feeling well so she advised me to get some rest, said she was always willing to talk if I wanted to. It's been a few hours now. I didn't talk her. I didn't even really talk to Nara when she came home and asked me what was wrong as I'm sure my mum told her I was acting strange.

I haven't really talked to anyone actually all day. I only got up to make dinner for everyone and eat with them, then I went back to bed. I don't want to talk about it really. Telling people would mean I would have to explain things I'm not ready to talk about, not yet. And fuck, if I told anyone what would Faris do to me? I don't wanna think about that either.