roleplayer recs.

                        WHAT  I  WANNA  SAVE  I  KILL .

                        “      we cannot   tempt fate   without eventually getting   scorched   by it.      ”

TODAY I MARCH TO REMEMBER that I am not just a me, but I’m also a we.

HOW MUCH LONGER CAN YOU CARRY THE WORLD ON YOUR SHOULDERS?  tell me that the stars don’t burn when you trip over them.  tell me that your scraped knuckles aren’t from fighting gods and that there is no empty space in your chest where there was once so much more,  and that there are no wars being raged and lost in your head.  you can’t.

I promised myself I’d never be asking for help, and I’m sorry for doing so. But I have to, especially when I’m trying so hard not for me and my mother to struggle but things are bad right now. Things are incredibly bad, and this is me being blatantly honest, we have £2 of electric here, and we don’t have any gas here and currently I have a bad chest and mum is recovering from an operation after being ill for months, they were attempting to save her sight - this however failed and the op didn’t work out and she is now partially blind. And right now due to us having no gas and the temperatures being bitterly cold at 1 degrees and 0 degrees, it’s dangerous as she already has a cold and it’s bad for her when she’s recovering. But apart from that, it’s dangerous as she’s been on immunosuppressant tablets for five months so the dangers are bad considering her immune system isn’t great. Right now they have stopped her money, which is benefits until further notice as they need to assess her condition further as her health conditions have changed. They don’t believe that her being partially sighted counts as a disability, which is preposterous, and it’s also as though they’re completely cancelling out her other conditions - hyperthyroidism , Graves’ disease ( the likelihood of becoming completely blind is high ), depression and anxiety, arthritis and PTSD. - and so because they’ve stopped her money and she can’t be registered as “blind” we aren’t able to get any financial help and we don’t have any food here other than a pack of pizzas that require gas oven cooking. and so because I’m a student, the small amount of student loan that I had went on getting her to her many appointments, to the hospital for her operation, and transport to get me to pick her up and paying friends for public transport and lifts, and for my own transport to university. I don’t get any money until January and mum isn’t likely to get anything until sometime in December if we’re lucky and they sort this quick. Whatever I had left from my student loan has made this month and nexts monthly funeral payment that we’re paying off for deceased relatives who passed earlier this year. and so I hate to ask anyone on here for help, but I don’t have any family left ( all passed , two of which this year. ) to turn to, as my mother is my only family, and I am struggling to get a job that don’t mind me studying part time! Though I am constantly applying.