Shizuo Heiwajima

Allowing himself to get comfortable might have seemed like a deceptive tactic, but it wasn’t escape that the broker was after.  By showing himself to be completely at ease, he was in turn telling Shizuo that he was utterly and completely unafraid.  After taking care to hang his coat up, Izaya crossed over to the couch and dropped onto it, stretching across the piece like a big, lazy cat.

“It may come as a surprise to you, but I am human.  When I feel like eating, I eat; I just happen to metabolize things quicker than some.  But I don’t make a point of eating three meals a day, so that likely factors into my weight.  Doesn’t make me unhealthy, though.”

Not that it was a good thing to practice, however.  The informant didn’t eat or sleep on a regular schedule, having trained his body years ago to go without.  When it was necessary, he would go to bed or have a meal–the latter being something he enjoyed quite a bit more.  Food was something he truly did like, but he often forget about it until he became bored.

“I doubt you have anything to feed me with anyway.  Even milk tastes terrible when it belongs to Shizu-chan.”

His eyes still following Izaya closely as he walked around the apartment, Shizuo couldn’t help but see the situation as bizarre. After having gotten over the initial excitement of getting the other alone, he was left to observe the scene before him. The body guard never thinking that he would be seeing his arch rival sprawled out on his couch so carelessly. 

He looked even smaller with the coat off. “I know asshole, I’m not you.” This meaning that Shizuo didn’t have delusions about Izaya’s being human. “I didn’t ask for your eating schedule, couldn’t care less if you’re healthy or not.” He preferred unhealthy. 

          ❦ —- ❝ and you smell like an ashtray. smoking KILLS, you know. ❞

“Well, now, what a surprise~!  Shizu-chan said something stupid!  If my parents cared, my sisters wouldn’t be the way they are now.  Unfortunately I believe that’s my influence, but I’ll give you a little gold star for the effort.  That ought to be familiar, right?”

Family was something of a touchy subject, but if that was what Shizuo wanted to use as ammunition Izaya could give him a hell of a fight.  Oh, and he would win.  But whether the blond realized it, or just possessed a fair amount of dumb luck, the subject changed to something a little less personal.

Not that it would stay that way for long.

“And what good would it do for me to stand still?  I’m inclined to think you wouldn’t know what to do with me if you were able to get your hands on me.”

“I don’t need your stupid star!” That’s right, trash the nonexistent star, that will really show him.

And of course he realized that he wasn’t going to win in a battle of words. The informant being all  to familiar with the art of pissing him off, knowing just what to say and just what to do to get a  reaction. Shizuo however doubting that he could ever say anything that would wipe away Izaya’s shit eating smirk. If he ever managed such a major fleet it would have had to be by physical means.  

“Please, I’v imagined it enough times.” He even had a little mental list. “I’d know exactly what to do.” That didn’t necessarily mean Shizuo would be able to go through with it though, but he wasn’t going to be saying that. 

“Ah – yes! That’s such a great idea!” Did he come up with it himself?

“We’ll do that! And guess what? I already have all of the tools we need to make them.

“Uh… have you ever made bracelets before, Shizu-chan?”

It didn’t seem like his kind of activity but these tools were her livelihood, maybe it was better to get some other ones for them to practice with…

“I know.” Nope, but he remembered a few girls exchanging friendship bracelets when he was in grade school. It seeming like a good enough way to make their relationship official. 

“Don’t call me that.” Just Shizuo was more than fine. 

“–Not everyone can be a genius, Shizu-chan, so don’t worry about it too much.  I’m a little bit afraid you’ll short circuit.  But I am a little bit curious; did you ever learn how to count past ten?  Do you still write your name in kana, or have you actually managed to memorize the appropriate kanji?”

The blond’s comeback wasn’t anything particularly scathing, and though it really just furthered his point he chose to ignore the childlike behavior Shizuo often displayed.  Insulting his intelligence might not be anything new, but it was at least funny.

How the hell did he still remember that? “Of course I learned how to write my name in the appropriate kanji.” Attempting to mimic Izaya’s voice towards the end of his sentence he couldn’t help but feel as though they were back in high school. It having been a good few years since anyone had mocked him about writing in kana.