Regular Jobs I can see the Creeps Having (for a ānormal livesā au)
-Jeff: Even in a āregularā AU I doubt Jeff would be particularly interested in holding down a stable/typical job. Itās just not his style. He probably worked a few fast food jobs as a teen before he decided he hated that and moved up into retail. Throughout much of his teens-young adulthood heād probably work at various mall chains like Hot Topic, Spencerās, and amusingly, maybe even Claires. Actually, working at a place like Claries could be pretty important because it would introduce him to the wonderful world of being a piercer. Yes, Iām sure he would have incredible interest in piercings/tattoos/general body mods, but I doubt heād consider actually having a job that aligned with that until working at a place like Claires. So maybe, hopefully, he can become an apprentice or something and go on to become a piercer or tattoo artist. (Or maybe even both. You canāt convince me the guy who carved a smile into his face and called it beautiful would not have at least passing interest in body mods.) I can see him being one of the more iffy piercers who will go ahead and give people even the more dangerous ones because āsure why not,ā though.
-Nina: See, thereās a lot of directions Nina could go in because she has a lot of personality. As a teen, she was probably in a similar situation to Jeff where she worked all kinds of mall jobs, but I donāt think she ever considered the long term very extensively. Genuinely, she probably liked retail to a degree. At the very least, sheās good at convincing people to buy things they donāt really need. Maybe at some point she and Jeff worked in the same place by chance and he was her senior coworker crush. (That she is now very over and cringes at.) Either way, I can see her going into a route that has something to do with beauty, fashion, or some kind of fame. She is THE scene queen; perhaps sheās made a few songs on the side that she posts online, which Iām sure would get her a small cult following. But outside of that, she probably does small modeling gigs and is studying to be a hairstylist who specializes in alternative styles. She doesnāt quite settle into one thingāmore like whatever suits her fancy and what she has the most fun doing.
-Jane: Sheās hard to place as well but not because she has a big personality (like Nina) but because so much of her story hinges on Jeff. Sheās also just generally multifaceted. Donāt get me wrong, she has A LOT going for her, but sheās a veryā¦particular character to me. Iām sure as a teen she worked at a restaurant job (if you know you know) but she also seems like she would be a very career oriented person. Sheād want a respectable career long term yāknow? Something she can really get into and work towards. Because justice is such a core part of her character, maybe sheād get into politics. Specifically, the judicial system. I think sheād make a great lawyer. One you could trust to fight for you to the best of her abilities, and one who doesnāt take cases just for the money. A classically prestigious job like that really suits her. (And maybe she went to Harvard or something.) On the side I bet her wife has a little radio show she appears as a guest on sometimes.
Liu: Heās also kinda hard because tell me why his original character is mostly nonexistent outside of sticking up for Jeff, being depressed, and also having misrepresented DID. I love Liu but PLEASE get some hobbies or interests. Amusingly, I can see him being some kind of church youth group leader or summer camp counselor as an older teen, but outside of that Iām kind of at a loss. Why would he become a detective if Jeff didnāt try to kill him? Detective makes for a fun fictional job, but that matches less with Liu and more with Sully, yāknow? Deep down, I donāt think he knows what he wants to dedicate his life to. Even though it is a ānormal AUā I wouldnāt want to take ALL the trauma away, so Iām sure Liu would still have (probably undiagnosed) DID, Iām sure heād still come from an iffy home situation, and Iām sure heād envy Jeff for the fact that he knows who he is and what he wants so strongly. Liu isnāt like that. He canāt work like that. He needs structure, he needs stability, and he needs time to figure himself out. Iām sure this kind of self confusion would end up with Liu studying something psychology adjacent in college. From there, heād discover his love for academia, branch out, and go on to become a professor or teacher. Heād probably teach history, if Iām being honest. But I worry for what would happen should he teach highschool (all of the kids would probably troll him) so I think itās best if he stays mostly at the college level.
-Toby: Toby what ever the fuck will I do with you. As much as we all love him we gotta admit this guy has absolutely NO life plans that we know of. I mean, it makes sense. Heās pretty disabled and sheltered on top of being from an abusive home, so why on earth would he think he had a future in the career world? Unfortunately, I think heād get fired from a lot of jobs just because they arenāt willing to deal with him and his many disabilities. But maybe, just maybe, as a young adult he gets a job at a comic store or something, and theyāre willing to hold onto him. And personally, I think Toby likes comics, so this is a score. Heād be SO happy to be there, and so so passionate about all the comics/manga they sell. Perhaps this would even inspire him to go on and make his own comics for real, and the first store to ever carry them would be that one he worked at to start out. If it doesnāt end up being something like that, I can also easily see him in some kind of labor oriented job. (Garbage man Toby seems weirdly fitting for some reason?? It feels more realistic to me than him being a comic artist, honestly.)
-Kate: We donāt know much about who she was before becoming a proxy and everything, but I do think itās safe to say she loves the outdoors. At least, I hope she does. So obviously she needs a job where she can be out in nature, and I think for her, thatās being a park ranger! She probably works very hard and is deeply passionate about conservation efforts and does everything in her power to advocate for more protections and to educate others. Not much to say here other than Iām very happy for her. (And I want her job.)
-Tim: For yāallās sake, Iāll throw him in here too. In marble hornets we donāt actually know what he was majoring in, but I doubt it was film. (I think I read somewhere that Tim or Troy said he was an English major but I could be straight up WRONG.) But thanks to Marble Hornets, we know he did have a job at some point. (That he did quit, but still.) Unfortunately we are never told what that job was. Jessica worked at a shipping company after MH, and I can definitely see Tim having a job like that as well. Something a little more labor oriented, yāknow? I think heād make a good HVAC guy or plumber. Heās the local guy everyone trusts to fix their stuff for a decent price. Itās either that or a landscaper. On the side I think heād like to write music though.
Brian: If we do Tim we canāt not do Brian. Unlike Tim, we actually know what his major was: psychology with a minor in photography. So I like to think in a regular AU, Brian wouldāve gotten to finish college and go on to become a therapist or psychologist. Heās probably one of the most personable people youāll ever meet, so heād do well in a job like that. I think heād like helping folks.
BEN: Assuming in this AU weāre working with a humanized version of BEN (and not the boy who drowned) then the answer is obvious: IT. Heās a local guy who works at a small computer repair shop, and heās insanely good at his job. But I think he wants to be a game developer, and is actively working on an indie horror game on the side. Iām sure he also makes mods for games. (Nintendo games especially. Those are his favorite.) Maybe heāll have a breakout moment when he puts his game out there.
Eyeless Jack: The answer is obvious with him too. In some versions of his origin story, he was in college. I donāt think we actually knew what he was studying, but a lot of people say he was going to become a surgeon or nurse, so weāre going to run with that. It suits him really well, honestly. So in this AU, heās a surgeon and heās one of the best in his area. Heās especially skilled in organ transplants, Iām sure.
Clockwork: Ah a bit of a harder one once more. We know in her original story she liked drawing, but to me thatās always been an afterthought. A lot of people like to headcanon that she has some kind of interest in mechanics and science, and I think that is a very fun direction for her character. (And a little more unique, all things considered.) So operating off of this headcanon, I think thereās a few possibilities. My favorite is that she repairs clocks. Specifically antique clocksānot the little digital clock you have on your nightstand. Sheās the one fixing your old cuckoo clock or grandfather clock. Hell, maybe she even builds them too. I think itās a fun and unique idea that harkens back to her original connection to clocks whilst also keeping our beloved headcanons. (And she can even still like drawing this way, if she draws out her design ideas.) I also like to think she worked at a thrift store or something as a teenager and stole from there constantly.
Bloody Painter: I mean am I even going to play games with you guys? Heād be a painter. Heād just be an ethical painter who doesnāt use blood and guts and bodies. Although I am sure his paintings would still have an element of shock to them. Heād probably depict more mature themes and do so in a bit of a gruesome way. Heās a very serious artist, if you will, but heās good at it and it pays the bills. When it doesnāt pay the bills, he can pull the starving artist card.
X-Virus: Scientist, scientist! Cody would definitely be a scientist, thatās a given. But obviously we canāt just say scientist and call it a day. Heād be a Virologist specifically; aka a scientist who specializes in viruses. Heās probably a bit chaotic and constantly makes jokes about unleashing the Black Death, though. (Donāt listen to him heās very careful and good at his job.)
Sally: She nearly slipped my mind, unfortunately. But I did remember her!!! Sheās difficult to place becauseā¦sheās a young child. And sheās always been a young child. I cannot think of a single instance where weāve seen Sally an adult. And itās not like we are ever told about a potential job she wants. [TRIGGER WARNING FOR MENTIONS OF RAPE AND SEXUAL ASSULT, IF THAT WILL MESS YOU UP PELASE MOVE ON.] Now, if we assume Sally was still assaulted as child in this au, (just not killed) then maybe sheād go into some kind of program that specializes in helping victims of sexual assault/rape. Especially minors. Maybe she works for some kind of nonprofit. If she doesnāt do that, I think sheād make a cute daycare worker or elementary school teacher. (Iām sure as a teen she babysat kids either way.) I would try to branch out more, but because we have so little to go off of itās difficult to say whatād she really get into.
Laughing Jack: I wasnāt going to include him at first but I have relented. But Iām not gonna beat about the bush: heād be a clown. At first I think heād be the kind for children that often shows up at birthday parties and such, but eventually heād have some kind of mental breakdown and grow to hate that job. From there, heād become a more alternative clown. Start working as an entertainer thatās not catered to children specifically. I think heād also enjoy being a scare actor when thatās in season. Still very clown, very circus, but also still edgy.
Slenderman: Threw this guy in as a bonus one. Assuming heās human in this AU, I think he should somehow work with children. But not in a teacher or babysitter way, a way where heās actively working to protect them. I know the foster system and CPS in general has a really bad reputation (deservedly) but letās pretend Slenderman is the grand exception and actually helps kids. Heās not the type to let the limits of the system stop him; he can and will bend the rules if it means one less child gets out of a shitty situation and finds a loving home. And the best part: no one is willing to stop him. Perhaps heās from a super influential family that can pay people off if they try anything. Still gotta keep that dark element in there, yāknow? But at least heās using his money and influence for good. We all wanted him to come sweep us away from our shitty lives as kids and teens, so this is only fitting.
But I dunno, what do yāall think the creeps would do? I love reading about peopleās ideas for these things.
