Chrysanthemums

Habang laganap ang sakit

Walang lunas, kumakapit

Merong dagdag na pasakit

Ang gobyernong sobrang lupit

Tinalikdan ang tungkulin

Bingi sa ating hinaing

Pagpa-planong walang galing

Tayo pa ang sisisihin

Palaging hanap ay usok

Sa apoy ay nahahayok

Layuni'y laging manapok

‘Pag problema'y 'di maarok

Tututukan ka ng baril

Ipapakita ang pangil

Inuuna ang manggigil

Palibhasa ay inutil Dahil walang maisagot

Pulbura’t bala ang dakot

Ang hinahasik ay tákot

It’s that hellish time of the year again. 

Sonder: The realization that each passerby has a life as vivid and complex as your own.

Opia: The ambiguous intensity of Looking someone in the eye, which can feel simultaneously invasive and vulnerable.

Monachopsis: The subtle but persistent feeling of being out of place.

Énouement: The bittersweetness of having arrived in the future, seeing how things turn out, but not being able to tell your past self.

Vellichor: The strange wistfulness of used bookshops.

Rubatosis: The unsettling awareness of your own heartbeat.

Kenopsia: The eerie, forlorn atmosphere of a place that is usually bustling with people but is now abandoned and quiet.

Mauerbauertraurigkeit: The inexplicable urge to push people away, even close friends who you really like.

Jouska: A hypothetical conversation that you compulsively play out in your head.

Chrysalism: The amniotic tranquility of being indoors during a thunderstorm.

Vemödalen: The frustration of photographic something amazing when thousands of identical photos already exist.

Anecdoche: A conversation in which everyone is talking, but nobody is listening

Ellipsism: A sadness that you’ll never be able to know how history will turn out.

Kuebiko: A state of exhaustion inspired by acts of senseless violence.

Lachesism: The desire to be struck by disaster – to survive a plane crash, or to lose everything in a fire.

Exulansis: The tendency to give up trying to talk about an experience because people are unable to relate to it.

Adronitis: Frustration with how long it takes to get to know someone.

Rückkehrunruhe: The feeling of returning home after an immersive trip only to find it fading rapidly from your awareness.

Nodus Tollens: The realization that the plot of your life doesn’t make sense to you anymore.

Onism: The frustration of being stuck in just one body, that inhabits only one place at a time.

Liberosis: The desire to care less about things.

Altschmerz: Weariness with the same old issues that you’ve always had – the same boring flaws and anxieties that you’ve been gnawing on for years.

My sleepless nights were the cause of you, Always thinking of how I always did not know what to do. Falling asleep to the lullaby of thoughts and what ifs, Every night dreamland is the only place we would meet. My dreams is always sweeter than any regular candy, You where often on top of my cherry, Hugging me close and tightly, Endlessly gazing into my eyes while melting me slowly, Never bothered by any conflict or tragedy. But that is not reality.  As I wake up to another day, with the thought of “wishing I could see you again someday” Waiting is such a bummer I can see, I know it is hard and this is really not easy. however patience and trust is the only key, for our great love to survive this frailty.  

“I Love you” is not enough for someone like you. Please my love I cannot do this alone, We may not hold each other now, But remember that you are the reason why I am strong’ But I can’t also deny that you’re making me weak to just stand here alone. 

Without you these hardships are nothing but stone. Accuse me if it is a crime but I’m begging you to just hold on, The desire to be with you gradually just gets bigger, I never want to let go of your hand when we are together, Always asking for a happily ever after. “I Love you” is not enough for someone like you.

You deserve so much more.

You have made sacrifices that I can’t believe, It hurts me to see how you have already endured so many, But yet I know for the past days, You have been holding back to just let go already… “I LOVE YOU” IS NOT ENOUGH FOR SOMEONE LIKE YOU. YOU DESERVE SO MUCH MORE. AND I FEEL SHIT FOR NOT GIVING WHAT YOU REALLY DESERVE.

IF SIMPLY SAYING “I LOVE YOU” IS NOT WORKING ANYMORE.

WHAT ELSE IS NEEDED IF YOU CAN NOT FEEL ME MUCH MORE. AND I JUST CAN’T.

I CANT BEAR.

EVEN IF IT IS JUST A THOUGHT.

I JUST CAN’T BEAR WITH THE THOUGHT OF US LETTING GO.

Sapag-lalim ng Gabi, Ikaw ang kausap. Tahimik na tawanan, Nagaganap. Lungkot na nadarama, Unting-unting lumilisan. Salamat sa iyo Pakiramdam ay gumaan.

Hindi man tayo madalas nag-uusap ng personal, Ngunit mahirap itanggi na ikaw ay espesal. Teka hindi kita mahal ha, Ngunit ang iyong tauhan ay nag-marka na sa aking puso at isipan.

Ang saya sa iyong ngiti

Nakaukit sa ‘yong labi

Wala na ang mga mali

Mula sa masamang dati

Tumingin ka sa salamin

Ang sarili ay tanungin

“Kailan ba ang aking huling

Tawa’t ngiting walang daing?”

Ika-siyam nang ika-lima

Kaarawan mo rin pala

Ngunit bakit ako pa ang

Parang pinagkalooban?

‘Pagkat Ikaw ay dumating

Kaloob mula sa Hari

Binuhay mo ang damdamin

Sa mga kwento at lambing

At tinuro mo sa akin

Ang maging totoo muli

Giniba ang mga dingding

Ng aking pagkukunwari

Pasasalamat ko’y sa’yo

‘Pagkat ako’y pinili mo

Nanatili sa tabi ko

Kahit hindi naman presko

Kay raming nasa paligid

Ngunit hindi mapapatid

Sa’yo lamang nakatingin

Ikaw lamang ang diringgin

Handa na akong tahakin

Ang mga bagong lupain

Kahit malaking hakbangin

Basta Ikaw ang kapiling

Sabay nating lalakaran

Maputik na mga daan

Gawin nating nakaraan

Ang bawat kasalukuyan

Ang hinaharap ko’y Ikaw

Ang hinahanap ko’y Ikaw

Pinapangarap ay Ikaw