hollyleaf was allowed to decide she wanted to be a medicine cat, she was allowed to. when she changed her mind and realized she wanted to be a warrior instead, she got to be one. jayfeather?? jayfeather got no choice. everyone told him since the fucking day he was born he wouldnt get to be a warrior and he knew no one believed he’d finish his training. no one believed in him. no one believed in him. and then his secret mother told him he needed to be a medicine cat, BLIND cats cant be REAL warriors, obviously. and then STARCLAN THEMSELVES in the form of spottedlefa, the spirits of his ancestors ocme to him and demand, demand he put aside his hopes, his dreams, everything he wanted and his own chance at happiness and demanded instead, he become a medicine cat. because he’d be good at it, and he’d never be a warrior. disabled cats dont get to be useful lmao. and because no one cared, no one believed in him, no one wanted him to succeed and be happy and everyone was desperate for him to be a medicine cat… he became a medicine cat. and unlike hollyleaf who found happiness as a warrior? jayfeather found no joy in his work. he despised being a medicine cat. he despised having to go through the motions of bedside manner. he despised the way people lookedat him. he despised the fact he didnt know how to hunt very well because no one bothered to teach him, he despised not knowing how to fight and he despised LEARNING how to fight because he knew he’d never be allowed to for real. he hated his life and he hated that everyone was, in fact, as happy as he believed they would be if he gave up on his hopes and dreams and just… settled. everyone was happier. everyone was happier. jayfeather’s happiness was never a factor. no one gave a shit. no one believed in him. if i were jayfeather, i’d fucking hate everyone around me, too.