Dumb little thing I wrote, makes little sense
I feel I sing so much better when I'm not in love. I go on stage and I sing to an empty audience, uncaring for what notes I miss and how I sway to the melodies. I can laugh at myself for I know no one else will see or care, no one will humiliate or embarrass me because I beat them to it.
Being in love, however, makes me freeze. I see you looking back at me, and I have an urge to dash off stage, hide behind the curtain and wait for the show to end. I cannot show you how I sing, because to me, it is not good enough.
I haven’t had an audience in ages, it didn’t matter how I sounded then. But now, I have someone who can see me, who can hear me, who WANTS to be there at my show, and I cannot perform as I usually would. I find myself changing, wishing I hit the notes better, wishing I practiced, wanting you to see that I DO sing seriously, but with you, I cannot seem to get the courage I once had.
Being in love makes singing cease for a moment, for I am so scared you will hear the real me. In that moment of fear, I seem to forget, that hearing the real me is why you came to my stage in the first place.
You saw every flawed note, every uncaring act, and decided that THAT was what you loved about me, and not the shallow performance I was trying to concoct. You not only heard my uncaring, dare I say shrill voice, but you listened.
It’s now that I realize, maybe being in love doesn't change how I sing, but it makes me feel good knowing someone is listening.
-(Me, I wrote this, Mommabean here <3 )
