b r o k e n

When I lay down I see my fat spread and it gives me chills. But then I see the outline of my bones and think

"This is how skinny I could be"

potato chips s o tasty

but like they’re 

SO

FUCKING

HARD

TO

3 AM is not the same anymore.

3 AM is time to exercise.

3 AM is time to burn those calories.

3 AM and I still cant stop thinking about those calories.

That one binge.

I was so close to going to bed empty.

So close.

So 3 AM is now time to burn calories,

 “please don’t try this if you’re under 18″

I wore my orchestra uniform today, which is a long black dress. It used to be somewhat tight and now when I put it on today, it fit loosely and I even heard the words from my mom

“You lost weight, it fits so much better now”

oh yeah so I want to make some friends so hmu/like this if you would like a motivation/support buddy :D

But like we could also talk about other stuff too

Yeah.

you know if you started when you said you would, you would've been at your GW or at least less than your SW. But you didnt, because you're a failure. You said you hated being fat, feeling your thighs rub together, the fat jiggling when you move, the heaviness you feel on your body.. yet you can't even do anything. You could've been the size of that one girl. You could've been the smallest one out of the group but you decided to put that food in your mouth.

me like 3 months ago: "Im going to lose weight so I can wear shorts when its warmer again!"

-

Weather app: tomorrow high of 71°*

Me: “Im trying to diet but you guys keep making me eat”

Mom: “No we don’t”

-

Me: *refuses to eat dinner*