Uwaaaaaa~~

mutuals can always dm me but be warned i talk like your coworker who is trying too hard to get to know you and my response times are akin to the response times you might get if we were communicating by letter

shipping a consensual, safe & sane pairing all the while i'm shaking my head in disapproval so the audience knows i still love wildly toxic abusive fictional dynamics

i wanna smoke with cookie monster so bad.... greening out and he hits u with the "imagine....imagine what me do if moon was cookie.... just imagine" i would lose my freaking mindddd

He would be looking out the window "you know what moon remind me of..... cookie" and i would be like DUDEEE.. WE SHOULD MAKE COOKIES and he would probably feel so loved

looked up this fic it is over three hundred thousand words

number one rule! never believe ur thoughts after 10 pm . unless its about The Character then believe all of your thoughts wholeheartedly

we are kind of in "fetish world where everyone does my fetish" but the fetish is heteromonogamy

GIVE OPENCLAW ACCESS TO YOUR ENTIRE FUCKING EMAIL AND MEDICAL RECORDS NOTHING BAD WILL HAPPEN IF YOU FEED YOUR ENTIRE BROWSER CACHE NAD PASSWORD KEY STORE INTO OPE NCLAW

just saw someone say "a fandom is small, so like only 1-3 fics posted per day" . you wouldnt survive a day in the place where im from

going over to my minimalist girlfriend’s house and she apologizes profusely for the mess and there’s just a single perfect, fresh pea on the floor of her living room

Blue Lois

can i help you

Red Marge

jesus christ. I Am Under Fucking Attack

World Heritage Post

i deserve a medal for this post. not because i was particularly funny but because i survived an onslaught of nearly one hundred gimmick blogs in the wake of this post popping off, and the fact that i didn’t try to track any of them down and snuff them out with my bare hands is a testament to my immeasurable strength and should be rewarded. at one point i had “the official letter h” add on to this post. you wanna know that blog’s gimmick? the really funny and original and worthwhile gimmick the official letter h blog had? yep you guessed it they just gave me the god damned letter H and then fucked off. only jesus knows the suffering i endured over that harsh winter, and he wept for me

puts my uncomfortably wet hand on your shoulder. see here, gay boy- can i call you gay boy?

tumblr kinda lives in a weird paradox where lemon demon is cringe drivel but neil cicierega is cool and respected

americans are a saudi oil baron's idea of classy. brits are an american's idea of classy. the french are a brit's idea of classy. unfortunately the chain ends here since the french's idea of classy is also the french

Happy Pride

the central conceit of white boy "comedy rap" genres is that they're too racist to recognise that most classic rap is already pretty humorous in many ways, on account of wordplay being fundamental to the form,

and also steeped in pop culture from the very beginning, like the rap scene was already making music about comics and anime and video games you don't need to segregate a new genre for that