Pavlov's dog

i’ve seen so many destiel shippers pick apart scenes from spn, but they refuse to even mention where castiel breaks sam’s wall. or where he calls sam names for something he cannot control. or where castiel lets sam’s rapist out and come into his own home(only standing up when lucifer tries to kill sam via raping sam’s soul). if destiel shippers bring that up, then they have to touch on dean’s thoughts about that. dean isn’t ok with that and wouldn’t be okay with castiel for that. that ruins their ship so they ignore these giant plot scenes.

it just bothers me. if your going to ship something, fine, but don’t push down the deformity of it.

extent of that, why don’t they touch on Jimmy? or the Novaks? they act like Claire loves Castiel like a dad. no she doesn’t. castiel groomed jimmy into saying he’s, abandoned the Novak’s, let Jimmy be tortured, and when Jimmy tried to get away? he dragged Claire into it via possessing her.

he possessed their family, controls their body and mind, by taking advantage of their relationships. just because castiel got claire out of juvie doesn’t fix anything. he indirectly put her in Juvie. he indirectly put their mom into a years of torture. he tricked Jimmy in a lifetime of torture, an eternity of torture(although, Jimmy did get out via castiel dying).

this is one of the few things i can enjoy so far. i hate myself for not taking the beginning of those episode seriously, especially because sam is suffering so much and dean is watching his best friend betray him and his little brother go nuts. i wish the beginning of the episode was less… stereotype God complex and more horrible. maybe it was the acting? idk, the writing was so… obvious. and they just reused the same clip of sam being burned alive.

i don’t want to come off as super sam centered here, but i feel like they should’ve been more shocked and emotional to sam being awake. death said that, well, literally everyone said that sam was probably just explode or go into a catatonic state FOREVER and just relive the torture forever. and suddenly sam is standing and, not including the flashbacks, seizures, self harm, and clear torment, he is up and kicking and talking. and dean and bobby are just reacting by raising their eyebrows and saying “wassup?”

LIKE SAM LITERALLY IS HAVING FLASHBACKS, BACKED IN A CORNER, trying to DEFEND HIMSELF, and bobby runs down and is like “🤨you taking a nap? now? cas is here” and just leaves. like. 🙂 

but their relationship is so funny. castiel is so demanding and angry and crowley over here is like “omg everyday your a reminder why i don’t go into BDSM scenes. i can’t stay this whole brat thing you have going on”. 

do we ever think that maybe after Gadreel possesses Sam he just got lost in Sam’s psyche? like huh this is a lot different to my last host. is so dark and confusing— ong is that a soulless version of my host? and then suddenly he’s in the Rape Factory. why is lucifer here . and micheal.

i just wish they explored this a bit more. imagine DID sam. except soulless sam is lwk evil with his time. sam will go to sleep and wake up like a month later in the hospital because Dean beat the shit out of him. dean will be sitting beside him like “sammy are you back?” and when he realizes sammy is he’s all sunshine and rainbows. he takes sam out to a pancake house and goes drinking with him even though he gave sam a concussion, 4 broken ribs, and a broken femur. this is sam’s life now.

Hell-Sam sometimes slips in when things get super tough. he can take all the hits. dean will come save him and sees Sam survive getting his organs rearranged (literally. he is cut open and his organs are literally in the wrong places.) “superhuman powers” and such. Dean doesn’t mind this one that much, except that this sam doesn’t talk to him. he’s scared of dean because apparently he thinks dean is lucifer and that dean is gonna rape him with a grater. not fun.

s6e22. castiel when i get you. he’s actually such a fucking dipshit. i know you need to stop Raphael, i fucking know that. no one wants the apocalypse. but you could, like several angels have said before, MAKE AN ARMY. not CRACK OPEN PURGATORY AND BECOME THE VESSEL EVERY EVIL SOUL THERE IS. are you stupid? some monsters may no be evil, but a majority of them are based of instinct. and instinct is to kill, eat, survive. the rest are evil or trying to suppress it. but your just too good for that huh? you can take it on and destroy Jimmy Novak once again? you can gamble earth’s safety for this?

in the apocalypse, at least a majority of people will survive. If you blow up and a chunk of earth explodes, just as much people will die. you can’t just live without a chunk of earth. 

and then the AUDACITY to break down Sam’s wall and say “when this is over, i will save Sam” knowing damn well HE CAN’T. He’s going to put Sam through the memories of centuries of trauma to make him catatonic. you are using sam’s trauma and dean’s protectiveness against them. your exploiting their vulnerability to get them out of your way. you are threatening the planets well being, every loves well being, heaven and hells well being, your friends well being, sam’s soul, DEAN’s well being. everyone’s well being just so you have a chance of winning a war against something you had other choices to do.

what mostly bothers me though is the smaller stuff. on a grand scale, all of what he is doing is wrong but can be “justified” by the greater good: stopping the apocalypse from restarting. but the small things like lying to your friends? letting crowley kidnap Dean’s only people outside of hunting? breaking down sam’s wall and releasing centuries of rape, or torture, but Lucifer and micheal to save some time? especially knowing damn well you CANNOT save Sam. and phrasing it like that pisses me off too. “i’ll save sam.” from what? from you? from what you just unlocked and put him through? dean has been carefully avoiding this and your just going to smash that wall go bits(not even break a bit off, no, he has to destroy the whole dam).

his “god” complex comes before he gets his purgatory souls. Crowley literally uses it against him several times. crowley knows and exploits that—sure he gets beaten up a few times and castiel does argue, but you can see castiel (more or less) preen at the fantasy. he may not want to rule over everyone— after all, he wants what Anna (the other angel he killed) wanted! “Free will”! only his version of it. he doesn’t even know what free will is. he knows the idea of it, the fantasy of it, but not what it really is. Castiel wants to be a new God. a “better” God that promotes “free will”. 

cute and all by why does it have to be him, hmm? “it just has to be” he says but why. because your all good intentions? i remember just like a season or two ago you were judging a certain someone for a situation not quite parallel to this(because he knows what he is doing and truly thinks he’s just so so good). he’s such a hypocrite.

“Sam i can just go get the blade and we can-“

“Ruby. open up your legs.”