Pavlov's dog

in hbo spn when lucifer tells sam “you can’t kill yourself to get out of this, I’ll just bring you back to life” sam decides to make him put his money where his mouth is. several times

and they get creative, start to almost find a black humour in it. it’s not gonna stick, and they know it, so they revel in being an inconvenience, break their own body as much as they can, methodically, erratically, never the same way twice. when lucifer appears and tells them it took him a whole ten seconds to fix what they did last time, sam laughs and says they’re aiming for fifteen. 

lucifer possessing sam feels less like a possession to lucifer and more like a fusion. to sam, its still an intrusion

you cannot have internalised homophobia dean without some of it being formed from sam being the weird kid and getting called faggot and bullied for it. Send Post.

do you ever just feel so proud of sam for trying over and over again. even though everything seems to be telling him that its not worth the effort. he tried in school even though dad didn't care because he was going to be a hunter. he kept taking the demon blood because he thought it would save everyone. he said yes to lucifer because of the chance that he could beat him, he just KEEPS believing and trying. even if nobody is there to thank him for it

sam being tortured so much by lucifer he stops feeling pain completely. But lucifer knows how to keep him in fear and discomfort regardless.