Decidedly Ambivalent

Today my uncle died.

The fortunes are all messy and they’re getting in the way. She wads them up in little balls and throws them all away.

Squirrel's eye view

Never agree to marry someone in a dream, someone you can't see, someone who stands behind you playing with your hair asking so very nervously. Never say yes, however sure you may be that it's just your partner when much younger.

I am really sick of seeing the wealthy described as "worth $xx million" (or billion, as the case may be). They ain't *worth* shit. They *have* $xx million, or more likely have theoretical access to $xx million. JFC.

Just a little mayhem at the birdbath, followed by much confusion about where the water went.

Possum trying to get a drink from the birdbath and not seeing or understanding the little step stone next to it.

I wondered where all the water had gone overnight.

So I am starting to suspect that the cumulative effect of sitting and spending the day doomscrolling or even just scrolling without so much doom after work is more tiring than if I actually *did* things - cooked, played music (myself, on an instrument), sewed, tried to teach myself to knit, read an actual fucking book for a change, worked on learning a new language - and yet I keep scrolling instead. The energy to *get started* doing that is less, the energy to just stay in my seat and keep at it is less, but I will ultimately end up more tired. The internet once changed my life, probably saved my weird little ass, honestly, but as it is now functioning has become more harmful overall. I hate this so much.

Grackle!

Sometimes I think about how modern western civilization was built on caffeine, nicotine, cocaine, and amphetamines and it all makes a little more sense.

And another thing!