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I hate that when you’re stressed enough your body just starts falling apart. I think it should realize you’re already stressed and don’t need that and start functioning better actually

i’ll be real, kitten, daddy needs multiple wealthy and powerful folks to die in a painful, drawn-out, and generationally humiliating manner

Young people are too invested in the comically unreasonable dream of having a full time job, making enough money to not waste their life thinking about budgeting for necessities, living in something other than a cardboard shoebox, and having like 3-4 friends who they actually like and who care about them. Instead they should be thinking about networking, producing content, optimizing workflows, and training their body into the perfect commodity

a book should be $5 a little drink should be $2 and museum access should be free and all hours

sex is a distraction from your true purpose in life which is to go to the aquarium and look at the fish and go "wooooooaaah.... fishies". cmon guys we all need to lock in.

“hallelujah” by leonard cohen being played as an easter and christmas song, “zombie” by the cranberries” being played as a halloween song, and “born in the U.S.A.” by bruce springsteen being played as a Fourth of July/generic us patriotism song have got to be a special trifecta of the most no-listening-comprehension musical moments that happen on seasonal playlists every single year