LOU !

"Ok yn, stay calm, nothing too serious here... just Lando Freaking Norris that started to follow you back on instagram after you stalked his account every single night to see him and drool over him because he's sexy as fuck..." you say while pacing in your apartment, your phone thrown away on your couch after you received the notification and told Charles.

"I should just disappear, change name, country, language... I'm fluent in French and English, and I know some words in Italian, I can totally master my grand departure."

"Or I should just ignore that, yeah, I could do that. I mean, I'm friends with other drivers; Charles follows me, Max follows me..." you stop ranting, searching for more drivers in your mind "Charles is my brother and Max is following me back just by principle because I went on his yacht four times."

You are stopped from continuing by a new notification on your phone. Curious, you go take it, only yo see that

"Fucking hell... I'm cursed... I should've never made fun of that clairvoyant on my for you page..."

You check your phone and start to finally act like a normal adult would do in this situation: keep living your life as it was. 3 notifications aren't going to suddenly change every little aspect of your life... right ?

So you like his comment and lock your phone, ready to just forget about that.

liked by charles.leclerc, arthur.leclerc, lando.norris and others

yn.leclerc: life lately !!!!!

comments...

arthur.leclerc: why do I look like this on every of your post ?

-> charles.leclerc: yeah I agree with him for once

-> yn.leclerc: because I love bullying u brothers

-> arthur.leclerc : what do you mean for once ??

-> yn.leclerc : u'r always wrong ????

max.verstappen: great choice of beverage

-> yn.leclerc : I know duh

user629729: girl, did you cover the name in PAPAYA ???

-> yn.leclerc: ... i pled the 5th

user63203: i wanna know the next HT invitee.

-> user 832003: she announced it yet ?

-> user532902: no...

user36203: yeah ! congrats !!!

user73274: when's the next episode ???

-> yn.leclerc: trying to do two in a month ?? maybe one for the beginning though, I'm famous but not that much...

user63200: who's the next invitee ??

-> yn.leclerc: harry styles !!!!

-> user63200: OH MY GOODDDDDDD

-> yn.leclerc: yeah no i'm kidding I don't know anyone who wants to be in it.

For sure that couldn't be true... why would Lando want to be in your podcast ? But you couldn't keep ignoring him because well, at the end of the day, you still needed a new person to podcast with.

So you did what you had to do... you messaged him back.

user27891: I just know their life must be something to handle

-> user6329: no one else can handle it like they do

user9455: wonder how she's still single ?

-> user53620: I VOLUNTER

-> charles.leclerc: really don't, run while you still can

user936230: funny how she always tell us about her crushes, but she doesn't want to talk about the new one 🤔

-> user3568: maybe it's because this one's real, like she can actually talk to them

->user865267: true, most of her crushes are fictional or twice her age

->yn.leclerc: not true, last that I heard, aaron hotchner isn't that old

user08638: for once a true influencer who stay herself liked by author

user93720: your editing skills will always be famous

🌟 compilation of charlesyn moments from her last podcast episode

the recording has just started, nothing felt too real for now, and of course, yn had to ruin the calm atmosphere.

"Do you want a bigger mic for your big ass mouth or this one will do ?"

cut to Charles deadass face who wonders why he said yes.

"Have you ever asked yourself why we had ours names ?" yn asked, feeling comfortable enough to be herself for real.

"Because mom and dad named us ?"

"Yeah duh, but like, why the arthurian names ? I don't understand that part of the deal." she looks up and down to him. "I mean you're not very chilvarous, when I look at you."

"Yep, I don't fit the name, you do though... Guenièvre is really fitting you."

"I always thought it was a name that a prostitute could have...you know, stage name."

"I don't think any night club would want you."

"I dance beautifully."

For only answer, Charles looks straight to the camera.

"You should tell your complex apartment to had more parking spaces, I couldn't find one." Charles declares after drinking some water.

"... you literally live two streets away from here, couldn't you have walk I don't know ?"

"How am I supposed to-"

"Don't Charles, you're really deceiving me and the planet." she cuts him.

"I can give you his number if you want..." Charles says lowly, as if trying to be discreet while he was literally recording a podcast.

"Who ?"

"La-"

"Yep no, you're not doing the wingman with me."

"But I want you to be happy !"

"Who says I'm not ?"

"yn, you know I love you sister, but the only social life you have is with the old lady on your floor."

"And ? She needs company !"

"So do you !"

"Charles ! I... he's not even aware of my existence."

"Trust me, he is."

"He doesn't follow me on instagram !"

"He would if you just... porte tes couilles merde !"

"Easy to say."

"Just... you have the Monaco GP for you to see him."

liked by charles.leclerc, max.verstappen and others

yn.leclerc: don't worry big bro, you'll have it next time ❤️ congrats for the other I guess ?

comments...

charles.leclerc: ❤️❤️❤️ liked by author

max.verstappen: thanks little leclerc

user97392: the way she hugged him when he saw he couldn't start the race

->user6320: real bond here

user97320: monaco babyyyyy

user73529: are we going to be happy once ???

charles.leclerc: at least he got a podium... bold of you to post him like that

-> yn.leclerc : delete that immediately

the comment has been deleted

user93620: WHO IS HE ???

And you were even more sure of it when he had to left in the middle of your first date - the one he had to postpone three times because of short staffing - because of an emergency at the hospital. Jack apologized, made sure to pay for the dinner he never got the chance to eat, and left you, promising a new date and to call him when you come home.

To say you weren’t disappointed was a euphemism, you shred a tear or two at the sight of happy couples and when your meals came, you just ask them for take away and left too. You couldn’t bear to stay alone in such a place, surrounded by love and happiness while you were trying not to break down.

So you came back home, ate some of your restaurant leftovers that didn’t taste the same without the right atmosphere and Jack, and felt asleep real soon, the text you sent Jack still unread, hour after sending it.

You realized it wasn’t meant to be when he answered the next day, while you were in the middle of your lunch break at the office, eating some cookies Phyllis baked. It was a simple text, no mention of your earlier date, nor your next one. Just a “great, have a nice day”.

You didn't text back, knowing he was surely already asleep after pulling a surprised shift, and just when you wanted to text something back, you didn’t know what. You didn’t want to seem too obsessed with him, or a woman who was alone and miserable in her life. So you stayed silent, knowing your place in his life. You wanted to forget him, and let him forget you as well.

It was, as usual, not in the mind of your coworkers, because of course, the next week, Michael ran over Meredith in his car. Some went immediately see her, and the others waited for the end of the work day to see her, just like you did.

You waited 5:30 to leave the office, beaming your goodbye to everyone before driving to the hospital. You stayed with her for an hour, trying to catch her up on everything and help her with some things she needed done. Once the nurses came to help her shower, you decided to leave, trying to be as careful as possible, to not disturb the medical staff.

But of course you had to stumble into Jack in the parking lot.

When he saw you, his eyes widened before he took back a neutral expression, walking towards you, his backpack dangling for his shoulder. He was already in his black scrubs, and gosh why did they have to be so tight around his biceps ? You didn’t realize you were in front of him until he cleared his throat.

“Hi” he said, looking you up and down, to either see if you were hurt or just to check you out. “What are you doing here ?”

“Michael ran over Meredith this morning, so I came to see her.”

“Wha- How ?” he asked, then realized. “Do I wanna know ?”

“He just didn’t see her when he arrived at the office, think he was listening to some Britney Spears or something. That’s Michael.”

“Is she okay ?”

“Oh no yeah, she’s fine. Just broke her coccyx I think. She just needs rest and to stay away from Michael, just like everybody else in this office.”

“Yeah, I guess.” he stayed silent for a bit, then, when he saw you weren’t going to say something back, decided to do it.

“I, uh, you didn’t text back…”

You looked down, the realization that the conversation you wanted to ignore was happening really scared you. “I didn't want to bother you, you had a lot to do and I'm sure you don’t want to add more trauma and overprotection for me.”

“What are you talking about ?”

“Jack, come on. You work thirty hours a day and I barely work for weeks ! I sell paper ! We’re complete opposite. You need someone who challenges you and is as much as a hyperactive as you are.” you really looked at him, pain showing in your eyes. “I'm not the one for you.”

“Are you on something? Did Michael also ran you over and you need a head CT to confirm head trauma ?”

“Jack I'm serious.”

“And so am I !” He stepped closer to you. “You didn’t text back because of that ?”

“And you didn’t text back either !”

“Yeah ! Because I'm an old man who's really into a woman he shouldn't be attracted to because she’s half his age and is the definition of sweetness !”

You two stopped talking for a bit, just looking at each other for real.

“Are we two idiots who are into each other without having been on a full date and too afraid to commit ?” you asked, your hands coming to his torso.

“I think so… and I'm sorry about the date.”

“I know, it’s your job. I'm not mad.” At that, he send you a look of ‘are you for real ?’ and you rolled your eyes. “Okay fine I'm a bit mad, but it’s nothing a second first date can’t fix.”

“So, we’re going to have a second first date ?”

“Yeah, if you want to. But I really want to.”

“Then a second first date it is. I can’t promise you I won’t be called in the middle of it, but I assure you that I'll be there.”

“For now that perfect. Now go save some life Dr. Abbot. I’ll text you.” you kiss his cheek and retreated back.

“Breakfast tomorrow after my shift and before you go to work ?”

“That sounds perfect.”

“Michael, do you need me to call an ambulance?”

“No ! I want you to pick me up ! Ohhhhh”

At that, she rolls her eyes, looking at Jim for an escapism.

“What’s going on ?” you ask, trying to understand what the hell happened.

“Wait a sec, I thought you said that you were hurt ?” Pam asks, trying herself to understand the man on the phone.

“I am hurt ! I hurt my foot ! I want to come to work but I need me to come and pick me up !”

Wanting to know more, Jim unplugged the phone, letting everyone in the office listening to the man.

“Oh God !” Michael screams, in pain.

“Hey, wow Michael, it’s Jim here. Just say again, really loudly what happened.”

“Okay, buuhhh. I burned my foot ! Very badly on my Foreman Grill, and I need someone to come and bring me to work.”

“You burn your foot on a Foreman Grill ?” you ask again, trying not to laugh.

“Pam can you come get me ?” Michael asks, this time really in pain.

“Uh, I have to stay to answer the phone.” she replies, not wanting to go there.

“Okay, could someone come and get me please ? Ryan ?”

“Why don’t you stay home Michael ?” you try gently, knowing he would be a pain in the ass all day if he comes here.

“There’s no toilet paper here…. can Ryan bring some ?”

Everyone stay silent, trying not to upset the man more, but also trying to get rid of him. Then, Dwight came along.

“What’s going on ?”

“Michael is sick and he needs some help.” you put up lightly, knowing that Dwight would go to get Michael. And you were right, because thirty seconds later, he was already running of the building to his car.

“Was that Dwight !? I don’t want him ! Please, everyone but Dwight.”

You were about to answer when you heard a big crash in the parking lot. You all go there, leaving Michael alone, only to see Dwight’s car in the fence, and the man out, puking on his car.

“Alright”, you say, taking your coat. “Michael, I’m coming okay ? Then we’ll go to the hospital with Dwight, because I’m sure he has a concussion.”

“Please hurry !”

Thirty minutes later, you were in chairs in PTMC, Michael’s foot in bubble wrap, and Dwight was off. It was nine, and you already knew you were going to stay the day here. But you must be very lucky because Dr Jack Abbot just pass you, ready to leave the hospital after his shift ran long. He recognized you and said your name.

“Dr. Abbot ! How are you?”

“I’m fine, just finished my shift… what are you doing here ?”

“Oh nothing, just a car crash.”

“What ?” At that, he was already at your side, looking at you to see if you were hurt.

“Oh no, I'm good. Hum, Dwight here crashed himself, and I think he is concussed…”

“What happened ?”

“Hum, my boss here, burned his foot and Dwight was going to his house to ‘save’ him, but he ran into the fence of the office.”

“And you took them both here.”

“Yep… it was that or answering the phone and writing mails all day so…”

Jack sighs, then look at the men. “Is it bubble wrap…?”

“… yes… I told you my coworkers were crazy.”

“Alright, let’s see what I can do. Lupe ? I need two wheelchairs please.”

“What ? No we can wait. Go home, you ran long and I'm sure night shift aren’t easy.”

“And miss some fun with you ? Not a chance.”

“I owe you one, really.” you help Michael go into the wheelchair while Jack takes care of Dwight.

“Oh, don’t worry. I’m a very easy man… just a drink will do.” You follow him into triage, then he let some others doctors take care of Dwight while he go with you and Michael.

“So Sir, what happened here ?” he asks while removing the bubble wrap, asserting the burn.

“I burned my foot on my Foreman Grill.” Michael answers, hissing when Jack touched the burn, while you were trying not to laugh too much.

“How did that happen ?”

“I enjoy having breakfast in bed. I like waking up to the smell of bacon, and since I don’t have a butler, I have to do it myself. So most night, before going to bed, I put six pieces of bacon on my grill. When I wake up, I plugged it and go back to sleep, so I'm awake a second time by the smell of grizzling bacon. But this morning, I forgot and stepped on it.”

“Alright… it’s not a deep burn so it should go better with some cream and painkillers. I’ll wrap it up and you need to come back for a new bandage in a few days.”

“How many times to I need to take the painkillers ? Because I'm in so much pain !”

“One every six hours, don’t use them too quickly.”

“Six hours ? Do you know how in pain I am ? You’re not the one with a foot less !”

“Michael !” you shout, already looking at Jack with apology.

For only answers, Jack lift up his pant leg to let appear a prosthetic leg. Your eyes widen, trying not to look too much.

“Oh God… of course… I'm sorry doctor.” Michael mumbles, ready to take off.

“Michael wait !”

“I’m ready to go to the office now !”

He left the room, looking for Dwight while you stay behind.

“I’m so sorry Dr. Abbot. I swear he’s better than that… I hope at least.”

“It’s okay… he’s a fun dude.”

“Again sorry for delaying your sleep schedule more.”

“Na… I'm good. I love having special patients… though I’ve never see you hurt. But you’re still my favorite.” he says laughing, taking off his gloves. “What time do you finish working ?”

“At five.” you answer with a smile.

“How about that drink tonight then ?”

“Tell me where and I'll see you.” you write your phone number on a piece of paper running wild and hand it off to him. “Later Dr. Abbot.”

You turn around and leave the room, immediately shouting at Michael for his lack of tact.

“Here Dwight, do you want a cookie ? I tried a new recipe and I need your opinion on it.”

“What about me ?” asks Kevin from his chair, every food words ringing like a bell to his ears.

“You’ll have some don’t worry… I made those specially for Dwight since I used beat’s sugar… you know … sugar from vegetables Kevin.”

“Oh my god ? Why do people always put vegetables in cake ? First carrot cake, then pumpkin pie, and now beat cookies ? What is wrong with you people !”

You all watch him storm off to the break room before turning back to Dwight, a plastic tub full of cookies in hands. “So, want some ?”

“Hummm, I don’t see a catch… so… yes.” He takes one and before eating it, start smelling it.

“Dwight, I didn’t poison it, you can eat it.”

“You’re never so sure… always verify.”

You sigh then side eye Jim, winking to signal the start of your prank before going back to normal.

“You like them ? I didn’t know how much beat sugar I had to put since it’s different from normal sugar.”

“No, they’re good… which beats did you use ?”

“Yours, I had a few left from last time you gave some to me. I didn’t want them to go to waste.”

“They’re even better now that I know they’re from the Schrute Farm !”

“Glad you enjoy them.”

“And this people, is how you start chaos in Dwight’s head.”

About two hours later, Dwight received a strange e-mail. He read it carefully, before gasping. Jim and you look at him.

“Something wrong Dwight ?” Jim asks, trying to sound normal.

“Uhm, yeah… just some… clients problems don’t worry.”

“Alright.”

You both turn back to your computers, making it believe you were working. But you don’t have time to do anything before Dwight starts coughing and go to the bathroom.

You turn to Jim, smiling.

“So, either he is really sick because of my cookies, or… it’s just psychosomatic.”

“Man… he must be stressed… he never had problems with a client.” Jim responds to sound normal, fighting a smile of his own. “He left his computer on…”

You both go and read the e-mail he received, as if you didn’t write it yourself. Just as Dwight comes back and find you two with worry in your eyes.

“You’re alright Dwight ? We read the mail… don’t you wanna go to the police ? I mean it’s the KBG.”

“I can’t ! It’ll prove that I'm guilty of something !” he whispers, trying to look normal to the others.

“You’re the one persecuted Dwight !”

“Yeah, why would they even want you dead ?” Jim asks.

“I know too much about something… they must have poisoned me… they’re after me !”

“Let’s stay calm okay ? How would they have poisoned you ? You make everything yourself !”

“Don’t worry about it, I already took an antidote, I’ll be fine.”

At that, you and Jim lose your smile for real.

“What did you take Dwight ?”

“Nothing, just some pills.”

“I had some prepared in my desk for all kind of poison… anthrax, arsenic, cyanure, x-rays… but what I didn’t know was which one did they use on me… so I took them all.”

“Okay, how about he go the hospital right now ?” Jim says, already taking his coat and helping Dwight on his feet.

“No, I'm fine Jim !”

“No, we should go in case the poisons start to act dangerously on you. It’s better this way.” you add, taking your stuff with you. “Go in the car with Dwight I'll join you.”

And that’s how you found yourself in the PTMC ER, waiting for some doctors to take care of Dwight, who was on a bed, already hooked up on some machines. A nurse had made taken some blood to make some tests, and you were waiting for the results.

Then, a man came in, grey hair, a sharp jaw, his biceps creating tensions on his scrubs. He was serious.

“Hello, my name is Dr. Abbot and I’m here for you today. What brings you in ?”

Both you and Jim didn’t know how to answer that question, but Dwight was here.

“The KGB is trying to kill me with poison.”

Dr. Abbot stopped working for a few seconds, trying to understand the situation.

“I’m sorry… what ?”

“I said, some KGB agents are trying to kill me, is it so hard to understand ? Are you a real doctor at least ?”

“Dwight !” you shush him, glaring at him. “I’m sorry about him, he’s a little… how say… out of his mind ?”

“So… not drugged ?”

“Oh, he might be though… He took some antidotes… but we don’t know which ones… and how many.” you say to the doctor, who looks more and more like your type of man.

Dr. Abbot looks down on his chart and nods.

“Yeah, you’re blood test indicates a lots of different things that aren’t so good for your body. So we’re going to do a gastric lavage, to eliminate all the toxins. You should be better in an hour or two.” He starts typing his orders on the computer, talking at the same time to a nurse for equipment.

“Doctor Whitaker is your doctor now, so he’ll do the procedure. I need to talk to someone though.” he says, pointing between Jim and you. You stand up and follow the man.

He takes of his gloves and washes his hands with some hydroalcoholic gel, before turning back to you.

“Do you know what happened ? Your friend here has lots of different drugs and acids in his system.”

“Yeah… hum that might be our fault.” At that, he takes a grave face. “Not that we drugged him, we did nothing, he caused that to himself.”

“Meaning ?”

“We made him believe that KGB was after him and that he had been poisoned, which he didn't. Then he took the matter in his own hands and swallowed at least a dozen of different homemade antidotes.”

“And why did you made him believe that ?”

“ Do you know how boring it is to work in a paper company ? Those pranks are the only things keeping me sane. It wasn’t supposed to go that way, believe me.”

At that he laughs, shaking his head in disbelief.

“I believe you, don’t worry. I read his chart. That man is something.”

“Thanks doctor. I’m sorry for all of that… I'm sure there are more critical patients there waiting for you.”

“Don’t mind it… it’s always fun to have some weird cases. I’m sure we’ll meet again soon with this man.”

“Oh believe me… you haven’t seen the rest of my colleagues.”

And you both were right… because only 2 weeks later, you meet again after Dwight set the office on fire to ‘make a point’. Yep… you always tried to stay away from the office, but in those times, where Dr. Abbot was auscultating you, you were glad you had them.

𝙏𝙝𝙖𝙣𝙠 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙛𝙤𝙧 𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙙𝙞𝙣𝙜 ! 𝙞𝙛 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙬𝙖𝙣𝙩 𝙢𝙤𝙧𝙚 𝙤𝙛 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙤𝙛𝙛𝙞𝙘𝙚!𝙮𝙤𝙪𝙣𝙜𝙚𝙧!𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙙𝙚𝙧, 𝙡𝙚𝙩 𝙢𝙚 𝙠𝙣𝙤𝙬 !