slim.

im open about how i feel to everyone these days. nothings a secret and i like to keep it that way. ive allowed my emotions to shift me into my craft and ive done amazing because of it. im grateful for everything you’ve taught me. and im not mad anymore... thankyou

i dont come on here anymore. i closed alot of chapters in my life. alot of them with unknown endings. today makes a year. a year for alot. you know today i was speaking about this because my friend spoke on a feeling ive only spoke about with myself. how she hasnt let go. shes manifested. shes happy. shes progressed. but she hasnt let go. of how from one day to another she lost someone she was so close to. and how things were so different before all of that. and i just thought to myself. how close i was with you. and how i was forced to let go snd move on. not by you but just the universe i suppose. and how i havent let go. no i dont cry anymore. dont really reminisce. no i dont want it back. but i can neverr let go of someone i was so open with. someone i felt like no matter the obsticals we faced. one thing i thought we had was what we told eachother. who we said we wanted to be and where we wanted to go, outside of our relationship. than when it all ended it was nothing like we spoke about. it felt like, like it all never happened. like it was a part in your life that was never there. i wish i could talk to you like this besides having to fake it away as well. im very one with myself about it but its like i was something so negative in your life it has to be spoken of in only a negative light. i wish it wasnt this cycle like what happened witj the one before me and the one before that. just left to be nothing and just move on to someone else afterwards. but unfortunately this is my reality. i know deep down im not mad anymore. i know deep down i wish i could to you in a regular way. without it being something else. i know deep down i wish i got closure. i know deep down maybe i never will. and i know deep down, it was just a part of my life and now im in a differerent part. but i know deep down inside, at some point you made me the happiest insislde and out.

i constantly have two people talking to me all the time in my ear at the same damn time.

im not even the same girl i was a month ago. so how could anyone really know me?

im feeling whole again.

nothing is the same. i want it this way

i just got so tired of my old life